Emotionally Unavailable Men – 7 Signs In Your Relationship

One of the most common problems a woman runs into within a relationship is emotionally unavailable men. These are guys that just don’t seem to BE THERE emotionally like she is.

Before we get started on the hot topic of unavailable guys, I have to point out something shocking that you might not know…

Women are often more emotionally open than men, sure. This much we know.

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Happy together but afraid of commitment…?

But women are also just as afraid of commitment on many levels as men are…!

Let me explain:

  • Guys are naturally hard-wired to contain and hide emotions.
  • A boy’s life is much more difficult if he’s overly expressive and sensitive

(I’m not saying this is right or wrong, it simply IS.) Boys are almost always rewarded by their peers for being more emotionally “unavailable.”

Meaning that for all the most important years he was growing up and developing his emotional IQ, he was given more positive reinforcement for hiding his feelings. Human beings instinctively pull back from men who express too many “gooey” emotions.

Think about it yourself: How happy are you in a relationship with a guy who doesn’t have at least a solid base of calmness and emotional control?

If you’re honest, you’ll admit that men who are too emotional are very unattractive.

Relationships With Emotionally Unavailable Guys – 7 Signs He’s Broken

As we discuss this, also keep in mind that women can be emotionally unavailable in many ways, too.

For Example: Most women do not have a good relationship to their own anger. This is something you may have experienced yourself.

So while men are often viewed as being unavailable more often, it’s something that happens with women as well.

Is There A Scientific Reason For Him Being Unavailable?

Yes, actually, there is a scientific reason for this. Hundreds of thousands of years ago, if a man was to survive in the hostile environment of fighting off predators, avoiding starvation, and ensuring the survival of his children, he couldn’t go mammoth hunting and cry on Groknak’s shoulder.

He had to:

  • Deal with his feelings and manage them…
  • Which usually means stuffing them deep down and out of the way…
  • Pay attention to the present-moment challenges of survival…
  • Ignore his feelings for his family to focus on the immediate needs of his tribe…
  • And he really didn’t have a lot of TIME to dwell on his feelings. Every day was a fight to survive in harsh conditions. His relationships were from necessity…

We are fortunate now to live in a time where we have the luxury of exploring our inner emotional experience in a relationship much more than our friendly caveman Groknak could.

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Simpler times…

Your experience of emotions also benefits you much more than a guy:

  • Women are naturally wired to express their emotions openly…
  • Women also experience a more varied emotional range than most men do. You have more emotional ups and downs than a guy typically does…
  • Women will use their emotional conversations as a way to bond and share information with each other (sometimes referred to inaccurately as “gossip”)

So there are a lot of historical reasons for a man’s behavior. Fortunately for us, things are starting to change. Men are becoming more emotionally communicative on the whole.

DID YOU KNOW: Men also have “emotional cycles” – similar to a woman’s cycle…?

You need to know what the signs are for emotionally unavailable men – and be able to spot them. I’m going to explain a little about each signal as we go through them, and give you more detail.

Keep in mind that being an emotionally unavailable man is not always the same as being a commitment phobe. There are a lot of pop psychology sites out there that have misled us as to what’s really happening when a man is avoiding commitment, for whatever reason.

  • A commitment phobe is a guy who doesn’t want a long-term relationship that feels constricting…
  • Emotionally unavailable men can (and sometimes will) jump right into a long-term relationship, but he will not be capable of expressing a lot of emotions…
  • Unavailable men can often spend years in a relationship this way simply because the woman he was with had some commitment issues, or she was insecure and held on to the relationship even if she wasn’t fulfilled emotionally…

So it’s perfectly possible that you’ve been in a relationship with a guy who wasn’t very emotionally available and you didn’t realize it until you tried to get more vulnerable and deeper with your connection.

  • What we’re really talking about with emotionally unavailable men is – Is he vulnerable to you?
  • And are you able to be vulnerable in your relationship – in a safe way?

Make sure you also notice the PATTERN of his behavior…

  • Is it all the time?
  • Or is it just when emotions get close to something in him that he’s avoiding?

One thing you should look out for is whether or not he’s gone through a difficult relationship recently. Watch out for men who are fresh out of a marriage, recently separated, widowed, or even a really painful breakup. They may be perfectly healthy guys, but his circumstances make him “unavailable” to you.

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He may still be getting over the hurt of a past relationship.

The same thing goes for a series of relationships that may have damaged his trust. He’ll need to find some professional help to overcome these issues.

Remember as we go through this list of signs that unavailable guys are not trying to hurt you or cause you pain. They genuinely desire the attachment and love you have to offer. But they are simply not capable of letting it inside his heart.

And no matter how many clever sayings you hear about “love conquering all,” it’s not going to change that.

Date responsibly by knowing that most guys out there you are not able to save. I know, you want to be that magical person to him, but that’s not your job.

Signs Of Unavailable Men In A Relationship

Emotionally unavailable men are a challenge to most women. He almost feels like a “puzzle” for you to figure out. You hope that if you can solve him and fix him that he’ll:

  • Owe his heart to you…
  • See what you’ve done for him and love you…
  • Never leave you or the relationship…

But you have to realize that you’re ultimately chasing an image of self-worth for yourself that has NOTHING to do with your actual value as a person. And if you get caught up in validating yourself through chasing these guys, you can wind up with a lot of heartbreak.

When you set yourself up to try to get a payoff from a guy who is emotionally broke, you never win.

Now we’ll go through some of these warning signs that a guy is not there for you.

Sign #1: He’s a ME-monkey…

Emotionally unavailable guys are very often compensating for a very shallow sense of self. He has probably never had his emotional tank filled up, so he becomes very selfish in his lifestyle.

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Is he just using you…?

This is the first sign of emotionally unavailable men, and it’s also a big indication of his inability to really feel whole in himself. He’s not a whole, healthy person.

If he’s focused on pleasing himself, that’s a good sign he’s feeling empty and he’s only working on HIS self-image.

That doesn’t leave a lot of room for him to meet YOUR needs.

Sign #2: He’s Ducking Things…

Avoiding responsibility for things in the relationship – especially where we make errors of judgement with our partner – is a top sign of an unavailable man.

  • Guys who are not cut out for emotional intimacy will try to get by on the least amount of effort and investment in the relationship…
  • Deep down inside, he knows he’s on the hook for a whole lot more than just showing up for sex every Friday night…
  • He’s going to try to duck out on a lot of his responsibilities…
  • He’ll be evasive and make excuses along the way…

Some of his evasions are dead giveaways that he’s not a complete partner for you. So don’t get sucked into trying to “rehab” him or sculpt him into your perfect man.

I coach women over the age of 35 about this stuff, and it always surprises me how many women think they can change their guy. Please hear me when I tell you –


Another way he will deflect these responsibilities is by actively using EMOTIONAL tactics on you. He will use anger and criticism to keep you pushed back on the defense, thus keeping him in a space where he doesn’t have to deal with the reality of his avoidance.

If you find yourself alone and sad about your relationship a large part of the time, there’s a good chance he’s doing this to you. Not intentionally, but it’s real.

Sign #3: He’s NOT Close With The Fam…

Most people who are unavailable also have very strained relations with their family. This makes sense, because it was probably that same family that caused this situation back in his childhood.

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You’ll see that he’s probably not all that close with them because they have a way of bringing up a lot of negative emotional loops. Sometimes he stays away from his family because he’s finally managed to conquer some of the stuff they did in the past.

But you should watch out for a guy who is avoiding his family because of the emotional ties to him.

Sign #4: He’ll Take The Physical Intimacy, But Hold The Emotions…

People with emotional intimacy issues will always try to keep that part as far away as possible. Most often, they’ll simulate emotional intimacy with physical intimacy.

So you’ll find that the sex is the way this guy avoids the emotions of the relationship.

You may even find that he’s a passionate lover. But you can never quite taste that passion anywhere else in the relationship.

Sign #5: He’s a Short-Term Intimacy Guy…

Guys with intimacy issues tend to avoid the relationship part of relationships. He’s very likely to be much more seductive. Deep down inside, a seducer is focused only on the sexual side of the relationship because they know they’re “not enough” inside.

Once the relationship has progressed beyond sex, it’s very likely that he will start something to sabotage it or end it.

A lot of unavailable men have some deep childhood attachment issues that they need to resolve. This could mean years of therapy, or some other form of healing.

Sign #6: No Real Emotional Range – Mr. Flatline…

Guys are generally not going to appear as emotionally expressive as women. Unless, of course, he’s watching a Big Game on ESPN.

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Is he hiding his true feelings for you…?

And yet, you should definitely be concerned if he seems to stick to a very limited range of emotional expression.

  • Watch dramatic shows with him. Does he react at all?
  • Does he get invested or emotional over the characters?
  • Ask him what his favorite movies and books are. Is there a thread of emotional attachment there?
  • Does he ever describe feelings in very basic terms? Like: “I was angry. I could feel myself ready to explode.”
  • Have you ever witnessed him expressing an emotional spike or outburst?

You want to watch for his behavior to tell you whether or not you see a pattern.

Keep in mind that guys are ALWAYS going to appear less emotional than women whenever you compare men to women.

But if you compare your man to ALL MEN in general, you’ll notice that emotionality is not a masculine trait. In the same way that women do not typically escalate to anger/rage in their day to day experience.

Guys simply don’t feel an intense pull into emotional experience the way women do. So by that comparison, ALL men are going to appear more unavailable than women do.

The key is to understand more about HIM:

  • What makes him tick emotionally?
  • What’s his history and his background?
  • Does he have emotional trauma?
  • Does he have any patterns he learned from his family? (Especially his parents)
  • What’s his pattern of emotional expression?
  • Does he behave more emotionally around other people?

Sign #7: “Who? Me? Emotionally Shut Down…? Nah.”

Yeah, there’s a lot of denial when it comes to this kind of partner in a relationship.

Emotionally unavailable men are usually not prepared to face his shortcomings in intimate relationships. So he will deny any problem and avoid discussing it with you.

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And it can make for some really painful arguments as you try to get closer and he does everything possible to push you away from this sensitive area.

Now, if you read my other article on Narcissistic guys (premiering soon), you’ll know that the list of signs of an emotionally unavailable man bears a lot of resemblance to the narcissist.

One of the traits of a narcissist is that he/she is likely to have a lot of “emotional disconnects” in their personality. Emotions of other people are even more difficult for them to handle.

However, just because he’s got these signs of being unavailable, that doesn’t mean he’s a narcissist.

BUT – he might also be totally fine!

If you have a more emotionally vibrant life, you may find most guys feeling a bit “flat” when compared to your experience. Many women even find that they really appreciate a well grounded man emotionally, as he lends her some stability as well.

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How do you connect with him emotionally?

Now – I have to warn you about –

THE BIG MISTAKE IN RELATIONSHIPS: Wanting Him To Be Your Girlfriend And Your Boyfriend…

There’s a lot of love quotes and sayings out there that your soulmate should be your best friend, too. And this is true…


You see, you should have that kind of “share everything” relationship with your man.

HOWEVER – you should not expect guys to want to hear everything you talk about with your girlfriends.

Men are easily flooded when it comes to emotions.

What this means is that he’s not capable of handling a lot of intense emotional conversation at one time. (This is for ALL guys, by the way!)

You have to respect that a guy will simply not be able to hash through a complete recounting of how Amy said this, and you said that, and then she looked away when she said it, so does that mean…

Guys do not enjoy or willingly participate in this kind of conversation, so keep that in mind. By pushing a guy to talk about this stuff, you’re making big withdrawals from the Relationship Goodwill account.

Now, he should talk with you about relationship stuff, from time to time. But he still won’t be able to do it for hours on end. It’s always been this way, and it will likely stay this way.

Men make great MALE best friends. And you may want to make sure you still have a FEMALE best friend for your “girl talk.”

Is He Emotionally Shut Down? – Or Is He Just A Guy?

Look, guys are probably never going to match your ability to talk and work through relationship conversation. However, he should be willing to explore and talk about your experience and your troubles… from time to time. (Just watch out for that “Big Mistake” I explained above.)

And I’d urge you to be careful not to let yourself get caught up in a relationship with a guy who is really into emotionally heavy conversations. There are some men who haven’t fully developed or connected to their healthy masculinity and are among the “walking wounded” in relationships.

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How do you heal hearts and minds?

Ask yourself:

  • What do you really want in a guy?
  • How much emotional stuff is good versus bad?
  • Do you know what really works for you in a healthy, connected relationship?

And – wait a second –

What about… YOU?

WAIT – Are You Emotionally Available?

Here are a few questions to see if you’re actually as open to love as you might THINK you are:

  1. Are you frequently angry at the opposite sex? Do you like making or hearing jokes at their expense?
  2. Do you make excuses to avoid dates or getting together with them? (Especially if you know this person is a good relationship opportunity.)
  3. Do you think you’re so self-reliant you “don’t need anyone?” You can do it on your own, you think…
  4. Do you fear falling in love, because you might get hurt? Are you MORE afraid of losing someone than you are of the chance of a solid relationship?
  5. Are you always waiting for something bad to happen in your relationships? Do you expect to be betrayed or let down?
  6. Are you distrustful? Are you feeling the collected negative impact of the relationships you’ve been in?
  7. Do you avoid intimacy by trying to find distractions? Do you find yourself going on dates that focus on the activity and not the relating?
  8. Are you uncomfortable talking about yourself and your feelings? Do you have inner feelings of shame? Do you feel undesirable or unlovable?
  9. Do you find yourself trying to keep your options open in case someone better comes along? Or so that you can jump to something new and fresh?

If you find yourself answering more than one or two of these questions “YES,” you might want to take some time to really confront your feelings about relationships.

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There are many women who jump into relationships with emotionally unavailable men to avoid facing their own unavailability. They use HIM as a smoke screen for her issues.

Ultimately, you have to remember that no matter how great someone seems in the present, you have to be able to deepen your emotional connection to them if you want a lasting relationship.

If you don’t you could wind up with a marriage that never goes beyond small talk.

The key to avoiding an unavailable guy lies in how well you’re able to connect with him…

When you can create a real connection with a guy, you can even manage to pull an unavailable man into opening up and expressing his feelings.

Some men just need the right woman who knows how to connect with him. Sometimes that’s what he’s waiting to see to open up to her!

If you want to learn more about how to connect with men on a deep and meaningful level, I have a short video presentation that will help you get this guy out of his stalling and into your relationship.

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How do you connect with his heart…

Go watch the presentation HERE…


Dating Profile Picture – Making Them Look Great

As the old say goes, “a picture is worth a thousand words.” If you are registering at various online dating websites, you want to have a picture that will stand out and call attention to your profile. You want to make that person who is reading your profile to think, “I want to meet this person.” In order to get that kind of response you have to have a great profile and a great headshot to put on that profile. There may even be room on your profile to post other pictures so you want some that are flattering. If you do not have any flattering photos you can visit a profile picture photographer to have your pictures done, but do not go and have glamour shots taken.

These are the pictures where you will have a makeover, get your hair fixed, and put on clothes that does not even match your personality or profile. When all is said and done the photos do not even look like you. Yes, you look beautiful but if you post it on your dating profile as your profile picture men are going to see right through it. They are going to know that is not the real you and start to become nervous, wondering exactly what you do look like without all that makeup on. They may feel you are trying to hide the real you and the real you to them could be frightening so do not use a glamour shot as your profile picture.

You should also not use a picture that is more than six months old. Sure not much could have changed in six months but it is still better to use a more recent one. In six months, you could have changed your hair color, the length of your hair, lost or gained a few pounds, etc. You should also not use a picture that you have cropped someone out of even if the picture is a really good one of you. It is tacky to do something like that and could cause someone to bypass your profile as this is a tacky looking picture and they can tell you cropped someone out but do not know whom.

If you cannot afford to have a professional dating profile photographer take your pictures have someone else take the photographs. Make sure that you look great but not like someone else. What this means if you are a person who likes to spend their time outdoors using formal wear will not be the best choice. You want the person to feel comfortable with the real you.

How To Make Him Desire You & Chase You

If you love a man, you want to know that he’s not only in love with you, but that he WANTS you. You’ve probably found yourself wondering how to make him desire you at some point.

signs your boyfriend is not into you How To Make Him Desire You & Chase You   9 Tips

The thrill of the chase…

Usually, this means that you want him to chase you… It’s the most powerful way to feel desired by a man, after all.

And of course, the most powerful way to be desired is to feel sexual desire. You don’t need a sex expert to tell you that. Knowing you’ve got him under your spell means you know he needs you.

Men love to chase women, and this has been true for tens of thousands of years.

And if a guy is chasing you, you know that he’s NOT pulling away from you!

The key to making a guy obsessed with you lies in sexual tension – as you’re going to learn in these tips…

One quick warning before we get started here:

If you’re using a lot of manipulative “tricks” to make a guy desire you or like you, you’re going in the wrong direction.

Men have a very keen nose for the scent of bullsh*t in a woman. If he senses that she’s playing games with him, you’ll know why he never calls her again.

Sexual tension has to be created with sincerity!

Now, let’s get started with –

TIP 1: If You Want Him To Want You – DO THIS – Say it, soft and sweet…

For years, advertisers have used the trick of putting your name at the top of a form letter, or you might get an email that has your name in it. Whether you want to admit it or not, seeing your name (and hearing it) grabs your attention like nothing else.

You may have heard that the most important word in the whole world is your name.

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Just think for a second about how you feel when a person says your name:

  • You’re instantly on alert…
  • Your attention is focused on that person…
  • You know that they’re talking right to you…
  • It’s the ultimate personalization…

Find a moment that you can slip his name into the conversation, if only to watch him respond.

TIP 2: Get Him To Pursue You – NO, Really! You better have one of THESE…

Have what, you ask?

Have a [email protected]#$ing life, dude! 

Sorry, that might sound harsh. But saying “have your own life” has reached epic cliché proportions. Just mentioning that about relationships typically gets an eye-roll and a “Yeah, got that, what else?”

But you have to really have to fight back that urge to start running after him and picking out your wedding dress.

The first thing you must have is your own interests and hobbies!

Why? Because guys are intuitive about one thing above all else: If you’re going to be a “stage 3 clinger” or not.

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What do men find attractive? Independence…

In a guy’s eyes, needy chicks are the worst!

  • They’re an emotional drag – because there’s usually a lot of drama attached…
  • He won’t feel challenged if you’re all set to start chasing him…
  • A man has a very limited amount of emotional energy to go around, and he knows that a clingy woman is going to take 1000% of it…
  • He’ll immediately think that all you’re dating him for is for free food, or you just can’t stand to be alone. NEWS FLASH: Neither of those is good…

You don’t have to be immersed in meetings every night of the week to show that you’ve got your own life. But you DO have to have other demands on you that occasionally make him have to wait on you.

The easy test of your neediness is this: If you have at least one activity (and I’m not talking about going to the gym or grocery shopping) that could conflict with a date, that’s perfect.

If you find that you’ve got less than 3 nights per week that you can go out on a date, then you might be TOO busy. But in my experience, it’s rarely ever the case.

TIP 3: Stick To Your Guns…

I’ve been on a LOT of dates with women, and there’s one thing I can tell you that will NOT make a man sexually desire you: When you change your stance on something to avoid him disapproving of you.

Major turn-off!

Men almost NEVER disqualify a woman based on her opinion about something. What a man needs to feel that compelling need to chase you is a sense that you’ve got a backbone.

I’ve been on dates where my date said she felt this way about something, and then I express a different viewpoint… and she backpedals and changes her mind.

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Look, I get it. You don’t want to immediately scare a guy off.

BUT knowing you stand by your convictions is really important for a guy. Especially if we’re going to have kids and raise them with you!

So don’t be so quick to turn around on your opinion.

I can also tell you from experience that men often put an opinion out there just to have an opinion. And when a woman contradicts or expresses her own opinion in a polite way, I sit up and pay attention.

“Wow! She’s not a pushover!” I think. “She might actually be a challenge! Game on!”

TIP 4: Speak Your Mind, Even If Your Voice Shakes…

One of my ex-girlfriends had a bumper sticker that said this, and I always liked it.

In the context of a relationship, you gotta be able to tell a guy what you like and want in life.

  • First, because it’s a turn-on…
  • Next, because it shows that there are things he can do to make you happy… (Men dig this)
  • It shows you have self-respect, which is the first step in him respecting YOU…
  • If you have your own preferences in life – and you share them in a healthy way – that also shows him that you are less likely to be needy about them…

Men live to create a safe space for your relationship, make you happy, and to provide for you.

And when you can tell a man what you really want – without making him read your mind – that makes our life so much easier.

Don’t be bossy, of course. But let him know what you like and what you don’t like in a relationship. This shows you have boundaries.

Let him know early on in dating him so that there this picture is crystal clear. The fastest way to lose a guy is to keep him guessing about how to make you happy.

TIP 5: Take Care Of The Merchandise…

A man can look at a woman and make an intuitive guess in about 5 seconds as to whether or not you’re his type, or if you’d make a good couple.

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Mind, body, spirit…

Unfortunately, a great many men ignore this when they get distracted by the sex. But we are capable of it!

What does he look at?

  • Your hair & makeup (not too much attention here, but SOME)
  • Your fashion and clothing choices (shoes aren’t a big deal for us – FYI)
  • Your skin – doesn’t have to be tan, but moisturized and smooth is essential
  • Your face – mostly, your expression. Do you look fun and open, or closed off and bitchy?
  • Your diet & exercise – Not directly, but we can tell instantly how important this is to you…

Most women don’t craft their appearance to attract men. Most often, a woman chooses to look the way she does out of competition with other women. 

Let’s be serious here – Men don’t care AT ALL about your handbag. Not one little tiny bit.

And yet this has been the fascination of women & Kardashians everywhere.

Put your “Us” and “In Style” magazines on hold. They won’t help you make him chase you – or ache for you the way you want him to.

For example, remember the first rule of makeup: Wear it to look like you’re NOT wearing makeup.

If you take care of yourself, you’re sending a clear message about how you expect others to take care of you. Again, you’re showing that you have high standards for yourself when you put effort and thought into your appearance.

Men do appreciate it!

TIP 6: Sweet & Compassionate…

One of the most obvious things that a guy will end a relationship over is your character. In fact, this is probably 90% of the reason we’ll get down on a knee and propose to you.

Here are a few things we watch for:

  • That you don’t have pushy and selfish behavior…
  • Your generosity…
  • Your kindness…
  • Your compassionate…
  • The genuine depth of your innocence…

I have to tell you that I’ve seen women that could be completely sugary-sweet  – so much so that I would have thought them to be angels…

Until I got to know them better and heard what they really had to say about those same friends they were so sweet to.

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Abraham Lincoln once said (I’ve updated it for gender neutrality):

“Nearly anyone can stand adversity, But if you want to test someone’s character, give them POWER.”

You might not realize this, but THAT is what a man is doing when he chooses to keep dating you. He’s choosing to give up some of his power to you in the form of sexual power.

Yeah, it’s a test.

If he senses that you are abusing – or you’d abuse that power over him – he won’t stay with you.

On the other hand, he’ll chase you to the ends of the earth and desire you forever if your loving kindness is truthful and real.

TIP 7: Keep Pushing Him Back On His Heels…

Finally – here is the one killer tip that will make all the difference in your relationship.

Guys don’t like too much power in relationships, as I mentioned earlier. He might seem at first like he’s trying to be the one with the upper hand in the relationship, but that’s not what he wants.

A man wants a woman who can compassionately challenge him.

signs man you are dating really likes you How To Make Him Desire You & Chase You   9 Tips

Be playful and fun…

To get a guy obsessed with you – really desiring you – means that you have to know how to TEASE a guy.

I don’t mean sexually tease a guy, either. I’m talking about playful teasing. The way you used to back when you were on the playground as a little girl.

The Desire Formula: Teasing = Flirting

So how do you tease a guy in a way that doesn’t hurt his feelings or come across as cold and bitchy?

Ask yourself this: How would I tease my little brother?

It doesn’t matter if you have one or not, I’m sure you’ve seen someone who has.

ASK YOURSELF: How would you give a guy a hard time who you have no interest in?

“But Carlos!” you gasp… “I do have an interest in him!”

Yes, you see, that’s the problem! Most women make it clear that she is interested in a guy, and then she proceeds to try to handle him like a fragile Faberge Egg worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.

And only later does she realize that her “special treatment” was really her being too accommodating and “nice” – which made him lose interest and put her in the friends-only bin.

(Or the “friends with benefits” bin.)

You don’t win his heart that way, and you certainly don’t make him desire you that way.

  • If he’s wearing a funky tie, give him a wink and ask him if he got assaulted by a couch upholsterer…
  • If he’s listening to 80s hair metal, ask him if you can give him a mullet haircut…
  • If he’s watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer from his Blu-ray collection, tell him “Well, if I’d known you were into Sarah Michelle Gellar, I’d have shown up tonight as a blonde…”

You get the idea, right?

A good tease is sweet, gentle, and makes him raise an eyebrow to you. If you challenge a guy like this, his attraction will double in seconds. He’ll be turned on in a big way.

Teasing = Sexual Tension.

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Some obvious pointers here:

  • Don’t EVER tease a guy on his physical body or his appearance in any way. No teasing of hairline, build, weight, height, etc.
  • Don’t tease him about his ability – whether it’s dancing or carpentry, that’s too close to his ego home…
  • Don’t tease him about anything that isn’t pretty darn obvious that he’d laugh with you about it…

If you can wink at him while saying it, you probably have the right idea.

Okay, I’ve got one more bonus tip to share with you here…


And what I’m talking about here in this bonus is that you want to be GREAT in bed with him.

My wife and I have a joke about sex: Sex is like pizza. When it’s good, it’s GOOD. And when it’s bad, it’s still pretty good!

Well, I guess that’s not 100% true, but you see the humor in it, right?

What you don’t ever want to be with a man is less than good in bed.

how can i make relationship more than fwb How To Make Him Desire You & Chase You   9 Tips

Create amazing physical intimacy…

Here’s the rub, though (no pun intended…)

In my experience, I’d say less than 5 percent of my partners were even “better than average” in bed. Yes, women complain about guys in bed, but the reality is that they’re just as bad most of the time.

  • Do you know what makes a woman “good in bed” with a guy?
  • Do you know what he’s looking for in the sack that makes him happy?

If you’re reading faster now to find out what that mysterious quality is, I have another question for you:

  • Why haven’t you tried to find out?
  • Why not read a few books on guys and their sexual desires?

You’d be surprised to know that while the stuff you see in adult movies is edgy and kinky, that’s not the stuff a guy necessarily wants from his girlfriend – or wife.

What he wants from you is skilled knowledge of his desires and what pleases him. 

Which you’ll get from forming a real connection with him where he feels safe telling you. He’ll tell you exactly everything you need to know, in fact.

But will you ask?

Will you risk having a vulnerable connection that makes him realize you’re The One for him?

I hope you will, because that vulnerable part of you is what he’s waiting to see.

If you understand men, you can have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Don’t just let this article be another “quick fix” to make you feel better. Make this the year you finally get the relationship you always wanted with the man you desire…

Men are suckers for women with THIS POWER… Do you have it?

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Do you have the power to read him?

How to Deal With the Dilemmas of Gay Dating

Unhappy relationships, fights and breakups can mess up your mind and discourage you from dating again. But, one bad relationship doesn’t mean that you are not going to date anyone ever again. Look around, there are men out there who are just like you, and they’ve had breakups and broken hearts too. The moment you find the one who is truly in love with you, it will make you forget all those failed attempts.

And when you do find a perfect match, many of you might have dilemmas that can break your burgeoning relationship. For this reason, you need to know what those gay dating dilemmas can be and what you can do to avoid them.

‘Let go’ of the past

Every gay man has stories about ‘coming out’, childhood, parents, fear and broken hearts. But don’t let things that happened in the past affect your present or future. It was a thing of the past, so use it as knowledge & wisdom. Give a fresh and healthy start to your new relationship.

Expensive dates when you are in different income brackets

The difference in income can become a major cause of breakups. You have a higher income and want to plan expensive dates, and you’re ready to make all the payments. But this can sometimes offend the other person and you don’t even realize. So, you need to keep the other person’s feelings in mind and plan accordingly.

Be a fearless gay dating guy

First of all, you need to be yourself, one who is not afraid of dating. Even if you try to show that you are a fearless gay dating guy, if he feels that you are afraid, it means you probably really are. So, get things clear in your mind before you start dating as breaking someone’s heart isn’t good for either of you.

Express your feelings

Don’t hide your feelings from the person you love. Express your feelings but if you think you still need to wait for the right time, then do! Sometimes though, there is no right time to express your love, every moment is right, so just open up and don’t leave it too late. Today, a number of online sites offer gay dating tips, so take their help.

Stop comparing

You are special, unique, and nobody can compete with you. Stop comparing yourself with your boyfriend’s ex or anyone else as it will lead you nowhere and will just ruin your relationship.

Communication is key

Yes, when dating someone, you need to have adequate communication with each other. Whether you prefer to communicate via text, or calls, or in person, make sure that you have healthy conversations with each other. Also, if your mate prefers to talk over a call while you want to communicate via texts, there’s no harm picking up his call, rather than creating unwanted turmoil in a relationship.

Be honest & open up in a genuine way

Don’t just presume you’ll be able to be intimate with a new person on your very first date. Take your time, understand each other and then discuss if you can move further in your relationship. Only if the other person is comfortable, go ahead and make love.

Today’s technologically advanced world helps you find a perfect match sitting at home. A number of online gay dating sites will help you search for a compatible match the easy way. Moreover, these sites sometimes also provide gay dating tips so that you can have a healthy and happy relationship.

Narcissistic Men In Relationships – 17 Signs Of Narcissism in Relationships

The topic of narcissists has come up a lot in the news these days, and especially narcissistic men in relationships.

Having a relationship with a narcissist is a frustrating and downright painful experience that you might not recognize at first – especially if your emotions have been manipulated by them.

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Does this look familiar…?

The first and most important thing to know is what a real “narcissist” actually IS – especially as it relates to narcissistic relationships.

Narcissistic personality disorder — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.

There are three kinds of narcissists:

  • Exhibitionist Narcissist – this is the one that is the classic example you’ve seen in movies and TV. They’re extremely confident, and they are very difficult in relationships…
  • Closet Narcissist – this type points to something or someone else as being special – like a person, a religion, a brand label, a philosophy. They’re very insecure and passive-aggressive in relationships…
  • Toxic Narcissist – this is the type of narcissist that is most dangerous – and thankfully pretty rare. This is the person that enjoys stirring up chaos and hurting others. Like “The Joker” in Batman movies, or the evil queens in fairy tales. You won’t likely run into many in your relationships…

There are 9 criteria for narcissism as defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders  (DSM V) – and you need at least 5 of these symptoms to be a candidate.

(Note: Unless you’re a trained professional, it’s best to use these criteria for your own knowledge. Declaring someone a narcissist on your own – especially in a romantic relationship – could really stir up some anger.)

Here they are:

9 Symptoms Of Narcissistic Personality Disorder

  • grandiose sense of self-importance
  • preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
  • belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
  • need for excessive admiration
  • sense of entitlement (they deserve it ‘just because’)
  • interpersonally exploitative behavior
  • lack of empathy
  • envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
  • demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

The narcissistic disorder itself is actually relatively rare. The estimate is that only about 200,000 US cases of narcissism are formally diagnosed each year – which is .05% of the population.

And as a whole there are less than 2% of the US population with some form of narcissism.

However, it’s also easy to mistake someone who posts a few too many duck-face selfies – or mirror shots of their abs – as having narcissism. Narcissistic personality disorder is actually much deeper and complicated than the occasional over-posting on Facebook. (Though this can be a cry for help…)

For a great many people, these desperate bids for attention are really just insecure personality issues…

They act the way they do because they’re not getting what they need from their relationships, and they feel deprived.

And while some people can be very selfish, it’s actually unlikely that they are a narcissist based on this behavior alone. Sometimes, (to be completely blunt) you might just be dating a real jerk.

The actual disorder of narcissism has come up as being a growing problem in the United States.

  • Some people blame Facebook…
  • Some blame the “self esteem” movement…
  • Some blame Mr. Rogers… (I’m not kidding, they really do!)
  • Some people blame the President…

In reality, none of those factors are really to blame. Or maybe it’s ALL of them as a whole. It’s really a complicated recipe of ingredients that creates the narcissist disorder.

The part that should concern you most in relationships is that 75% of all narcissists are men

Which means you want to be able to spot this condition if you want to avoid some nasty relationship problems later on.

Personally, I’ve also encountered some of the 25% of female narcissists back in some of my past relationships. And I’ll tell you that it’s not very fun, either.

You may be aware that one of the most famous narcissists was the famed killer Ted Bundy. He’s a classic example of this personality disorder, taken to an extreme.

Also – you should know that narcissism is not considered a “treatable” illness.

One of the primary reasons is that it is “self-cloaking.” Meaning that if a person has narcissistic personality disorder, they don’t think they really have a problem! So it’s going to be difficult to get them into treatment in the first place.

FIRST – we need to understand the different signs of a narcissist in relationships. These could show up at any time, and in any order. There is a predictable pattern to how a narcissist gets into your life, though.

Narcissistic Men In Relationships – 10 Symptoms Of A Narcissistic Relationship

There are many signs that can tell you if you’re in a relationship with someone with a narcissistic tendency, and that’s what we’re going to look at here today.

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is there a pattern of behaviors?

First, you should understand the 3 part narcissistic abuse cycle as described by Dr. Daniel Fox:

  • Glorifying Stage – you make each other out to be incredibly wonderful. You can’t get enough, and you soak in all the praise and flattery…
  • Belittling Stage – You get a lot of demeaning comments, snide comments and sarcasm. Since you remember the glorifying so well and how powerful that felt, you may let a lot of this low-level abuse slide. But these comments get bigger, harsher, and more abusive as the relationship goes on…
  • Abandoning Stage – This is when the narcissist pulls the plug on you to give you that really heavy feeling of withdrawal. This usually ends with you remembering the glorifying stage, and since you want to relive the “high” of that attention, the cycle starts again. Only now you don’t get the same high power glorifying you got at the start, so it starts to change the energy. But now you’re back at the start…

These stages can take weeks or days to go through a complete cycle. Or they can even shorten down to just a few minutes during a relationship argument or other catalyst.

And going through this spiral makes you more and more dizzy each time.

Let’s start to walk through some of the symptoms in this cycle that tell you you’re in a narcissistic relationship…

Narcissism Symptom 1: You Feel Like He Dropped A Bomb On You…

One of the more powerful indicators of a narcissistic relationship is when your partner started the relationship by being really intense at the start. It’s likely that things were really hot & heavy in the beginning, with him proclaiming his love for you very early on. Maybe even in the first few dates.

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It doesn’t have to just be him telling you he loves you, either. It could be the intensity of his interest. He makes it start out like a fairy tale for you, and you’re his princess.

You might be drawn in because he’s so charming and charismatic. He says the things you want to hear. And it appeals to your desire to feel desired. You feel swept off your feet.

Even men like to feel this kind of attention!

It’s like being really hungry and walking up to the world’s tastiest all-you-can-eat buffet. Of course it’s going to be appealing to you in relationships.

That’s how these narcissists operate, and it’s a convincing strategy if you aren’t watching for it. After all, who doesn’t want to get swept away by love?

They’re likely to talk up all the positive things, like:

  • How compatible you two are…
  • How lucky you were to find each other… (making it sound magical)
  • Talking up all the things about you that other people don’t recognize – which is a huge mind-$#&@

And generally the narcissists always make their relationships seem too good to be true.

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And it is.

Be aware and cautious!

If you feel that:

  • Things are moving too fast…
  • The relationship is almost too good…
  • This person is TOO different than others you’ve dated – in conveniently all the ways that you want…

Stop for a second and look at what’s going on before you jump in with both feet into this narcissistic relationship.

Narcissism Symptom 2: And Then – POOF…

Out of nowhere, the narcissist is probably going to vanish for a time, only to resurface later as if nothing happened.

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He’s everywhere and nowhere…

And they make you feel you’re still the most amazing person in the world.

It will leave you confused and hurt because of the suddenness of the turn-around. You’ll wonder what happened. And it might even feel like past relationships of yours where you felt abandoned. And this brings up even more fearful emotions.

The other way you’ll feel this attention revoked is that the narcissistic partner could also turn on you for no reason at all.

You could be getting along well, having fun, and then you do something that triggers a pouty, sulky version of the narcissist. And that makes you panic.

What happened?

But it’s not really YOU that’s at fault.

It’s their dysfunctional psychology that short-circuited, and now you’re the one to blame.

The real risk is that you become addicted to the up and down cycles of these relationships.

  • On the up-side, the narcissist lifts you to new highs with his praise and loving attention
  • On the down-side, he throws you into despair with each time he turns on you when you “disappoint” your narcissist man
  • And then you feel the withdrawal of the good feelings hit you and you want to ride his relationship roller coaster back to the top again…
  • OR you start justifying the bad times making up for the good times

This cycle of hot and cold, mean and sweet, up and down will make you very anxious and unhappy…

When you go through this alternating cycle of ups and downs enough, it starts to addict you to the process. You know you’re unhappy and unfulfilled, but you hold out hope.

Maybe you’ve experienced a relationship like this before where the drama starts to take a front seat and the love is barely visible.

Narcissism Symptom 3: The Double Whammy…

The first part of the double whammy that you experience is that the narcissist is constantly talking about themselves, and showing all the signs of a grandiose self-image and accomplishments.

Narcissists tend to monopolize the conversation about what’s going on with them. They seem only focused on their own world, and how great they are.

This should not be confused with the kind of guy who brags a lot to impress people but you can smell how insecure he actually is.

No, the narcissist really believes they are smarter and better than everyone else. If only everyone would just SEE it and get out of the narcissists way!

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This gives the narcissistic person a powerful aura of self-confidence and self-esteem…

That confidence can be very attractive to people who may feel a bit insecure or inadequate in relationships. It’s like a glowing light of certainty that is really hard to resist.

The other part of the double whammy is that you will feel lonely and frustrated because the narcissist never really talks about YOU or your life. You carry the aching sensation of never feeling fulfilled by the relationship because it’s never there for YOU.

And it can be very difficult to pin down why you have this empty, lonely feeling inside. Until you realize, the narcissist’s neglect is what’s causing it.

Narcissism Symptom 4: The Reality Bender…

This one is particularly vivid for me, as I experienced this in a relationship with a woman who was very narcissistic. I didn’t even realize I was in a narcissistic relationship until years after we broke up, and this symptom stayed in my brain for many years after.

Some call this the “gaslighting” effect. This term means that a person tries to change things around so that they manipulate you into doubting your own sanity.

It also means – as it pertains to narcissistic relationship – undermining another person’s reality by denying facts, the environment around them, or their feelings.

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Does it feel like he’s playing games…?

I’ll give you a quick example:

  • Your favorite narcissist tells you on the phone that they’ll meet you at 7:00PM at your favorite restaurant – Chico’s
  • You text the narcissist at 7:15 from that restaurant asking him “Where the hell are you?”
  • He texts you back that he’s meeting you at another restaurant down the road at 7:30 PM – “JUST LIKE WE PLANNED!”

Now, you know that he said the other restaurant. And he also originally said 7:00, not 7:30. You’re… pretty darn sure.

And when you meet up, you argue over this. But he’s so doggedly convincing that he said 7:30 at the other restaurant that you give in.

Maybe you did misunderstand him. Maybe you heard it wrong…


But now you feel off, and you’re thrown by this. You don’t want to create unnecessary conflict, so you let it go.

Leaving you with a weird, uncertain feeling inside.

THIS, dear friends, is gaslighting. AKA “The Reality Bender.” And it’s a specialty of the narcissist.

Signs of gaslighting include the following:

  • You find yourself apologizing often to your partner
  • You feel more anxious and less confident than you used to be – almost a different person
  • You often wonder if you’re being “too sensitive” or overreacting
  • You feel like everything you do is wrong – and there is no “right” solution
  • You always think it’s your fault when there’s a problem
  • You often question whether your reaction to your partner is appropriate
  • You make frequent excuses for your partner’s behavior (BIG ONE!)

It can really mess with your mind, so be on the lookout for this kind of manipulative and very deceptive behavior. It’s the worst kind of abuse.

The Narcissist doesn’t necessarily intend to make you feel like you’re going crazy – he just can’t handle the idea that he’s wrong. So he bends YOUR reality to match his self image and needs.

It’s insidious, and you should NEVER let this kind of dynamic into your relationship.

Narcissism Symptom 5:  Punish, Isolate, and Redeem…

Another of the clever strategies of the narcissist is their ability to wield power in your relationship.

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Does he break you down…?

One of the ways they do this is to play more of your insecurities against you. So what they’ll do is run a routine of:

First, they setup a punishment for something you did. They’ll act extra hurt about something and proceed to punish you in words or action.

Then they isolate you. Similar to the Abandon strategy, he simply cuts off contact in a very uncomfortable way. Maybe you’re on vacation and he either wanders off, or leaves you stranded.

Then he finally comes back to you and redeems you. Maybe he says he forgives you. Or he sets it up so that he gives you “another chance.”

Any way you cut it, this is a narcissistic strategy to get you to ride the emotional roller coaster, and get more stuck in the cycle of seeking his approval.

Narcissism Symptom 6: Got No Feelings…

The trademark symptom of Narcissists is that they don’t have any real empathy.

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Is he emotionally cold and distant?

Empathy is defined as “the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.”

Narcissists lack the ability to make you feel seen, validated, understood, or accepted because they don’t grasp the concept of feelings. They just can’t understand OTHER people’s feelings. They’re stuck in their perspective.

This not only makes them look a bit selfish – okay, a LOT selfish – it makes them look like bratty little kids. Right down to the temper tantrums.

Watch for his interest level in your emotional experience. If he appears bored by your feelings, or doesn’t seem to understand them – or there’s a really big disconnect in how he responds to your problems, you should watch out.

Narcissism Symptom 7: No Long-Time Buddies…

Narcissists don’t have the ability to keep long-term friendships alive. They’ll have some casual friends, but mostly hardcore enemies. (Or maybe one current person that the narcissist has declared their nemesis.)

If they do know somebody for a long time, there’s a really good chance that the relationship is very superficial. It probably suits him this way. He charms these friends, then uses them for his own benefit.

You might even notice that they translate their own lack of durable friendships into attacks on your friendships and social life. One thing a narcissist likes to do in a relationship is to isolate you from your friends and keep you all to himself.

Narcissism Symptom 8: No Win…

If there’s one thing you realize when you’re in a narcissistic relationship, it’s that they cannot stand to be wrong. You can’t win an argument with a narcissist, no matter how hard you try.

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Up for a game of 4D chess…?

Narcissists are so connected to their self-image of perfection that they won’t let you anywhere near the core of their identity. Not even to question their sheer brilliance and perfection.

You may be dating a narcissist if you feel like your partner:

  • doesn’t really hear you
  • won’t understand you or your point of view
  • doesn’t take any responsibility for their part in the issue
  • doesn’t ever try to compromise or meet in the middle

And they never ever apologize. When you hear what seems to ALMOST be an apology usually just turns out to be another justification on their part for why they weren’t really wrong.

Narcissism Symptom 9: Ambitions Of Perfection…

The narcissist has a big plan for life.

It’s a big plan, full of ambition. And in society today, the narcissistic personality stands a really good chance of accomplishing it, since they have no guilt about what they have to do to get it.

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They do ANYTHING to get their way…

These narcissists have no problem hurting others in their ambitions. Which is why you need to be able to spot someone who is not just ambitious but without a compassionate conscience.

A lot of the signs of this disorder can mimic the signs of a really masculine man. Which is why it’s so essential that you understand men (and masculinity) to avoid a narcissistic relationship.

You do want a man with some desire and ambition in life, as opposed to a weak, lazy guy. But if he’s driven so much that he ignores you or doesn’t seem to hold much compassion and kindness in him, you should leave that relationship.

Narcissism Symptom 10: Wicked Breakup Cycles…

The end of relationships with a narcissist are a hurricane of drama and manipulation. This is mostly because when you demonstrate independent authority that challenges their self-image, they freak the @#&% out. You’re turning a fan on right next to his delicate house of cards, and that’s threatening.

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Love me, love me not…

The dynamic goes something like this:

  • You initiate the distance – or even threaten a breakup
  • He comes back to you with excessive glorifying, laying it on thick
  • You get caught up in wanting things the way they were, and you come back to the relationship
  • The abuse starts again, and builds until you initiate distance again

And so the cycle goes.

But with one very important tweak: If you do manage to break up and stay broken up, he’s going to panic and do everything he can to keep you around in his life. If only to justify that he’s got that power over you.

He’ll try to convince you he’s changed, so watch out for that. Eventually he will just go back to the same old habits and behaviors.

The really deadly part is that the narcissistic personality will adjust his future strategy to avoid the situation that pushed your buttons, or he will just move on to a new relationship.

So – what do you now?

The most important thing to do if you suspect you’re in a narcissistic (abusive) relationship is to immediately scale back on the time you are spending with him. He will continue to suck you down deeper into his unreality vortex if you let him. And the resulting damage to your self-esteem could take you years to recover from.

The next step is to avoid any kind of arguments or negotiating. A narcissist thrives on conflict to use their special tools of deception and manipulation on people. Especially when they never concede an argument with you anyways.

Don’t give them the tools to make you feel crazy.

The next step is to prepare for their retaliation. Be ready for him to fight back to re-assert his reality – and control of – you.

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Narcissists read people really well. As a result, he will use all his best methods to sweet talk you back, or just pummel you with guilt, abuse, or any other manipulative method that he’s used on you in the past.

And also use this retaliation (that you can predict) to prove your reality is right! Now that you see that the pattern is predictable, you’ll also know that you’re seeing things straight.

When he lashes back at you – and he will –  he’ll use all the power plays we’ve discussed here. Be ready for them. And when you see them, you simply dodge them. Do not engage with him.

The less you fight him the less he can play the head games with you.

And finally, when you’re ready – end the relationship.

Do not stay in a relationship with a narcissist.

  • It’s very unlikely they will EVER seek treatment.
  • It’s unlikely he will ever “get better” on his own.

Again, true narcissistic personalities are relatively rare. You are more likely to encounter someone with self-esteem issues that has some of these symptoms, but is not really mentally ill.

The best ally you have when you’re dating or building a relationship is KNOWLEDGE…

When you understand men, what they want, and what YOU want – you won’t be fooled into bad relationships anymore.

You’ll find the man you really desire – and you’ll be able to create a bond with him that can’t be broken…

If you want to learn more about how men think, what men want, and how to open his heart – go watch this quick video right now…

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Love Advice To Save Your Marriage: How About Begin Dating Your Spouse All Over Again?

When looking to establish or keep a relationship, dating is a crucial element.

Love and romance are two essential elements of an intimate love relationship, and is what any good counselor will tell you when giving love advice.

It is important to never ever undervalue the power of an easy date. A date can bring love back into the relationship, as in, rekindle the old love.

The Course in Miracles further states, “Your peace lies in its limitlessness. Limit the peace you share, and your Self must be unknown to you.”

It is still important to comprehend dating and its importance if you are not in a severe relationship right now.

Dating is vital to consider for keeping your relationship alive and fresh if your relationship is that of marital relationship.

Dating can assist to conserve an otherwise failing marital relationship.

This doesn’t suggest that each date needs to be extremely romantic, or that you need to fork out a lot of dough or max out your credit card each time you date your wife or husband.

Oftentimes, simply just hanging around alone with your partner can be adequate to assist keeping the love alive.

Each night does not have to be a date, however understand that going on a date with your partner on a constant basis helps to ensure that love and that love remains a part of the relationship.

When it comes to why dating is important for your marriage, it is very important, as it prevents your other half from making assumptions.

Your better half might think that you would rather not be seen with her or him in public, or that you repent to display your relationship.

The best love advice will tell you that the lack of dating can likewise cause dullness and cause an “average,” relationship to decline below, even, “average”.

This can, regrettably, cause relationship difficulties and perhaps even separation or divorce.

In a previous session I discussed free information available on the web on the importance of commitment for healing a love relationship or saving the marriage.

To keep your relationship strong, you will desire to make a commitment to plan routine date activities with your partner.

Typical, popular, and standard date activities, such as dinner and a motion picture, are great, but it is also important to believe more within you and your mate how you have an inner connection, if you will.

Good love advice will state that distinct dating experiences can likewise assist to develop more love and improve your intimacy.

Uncommon and out of the regular dates when you date your wife, can be extremely romantic.

If you and your partner are parents, it is essential to understand that dating can be made complex, but it is still more than possible.

You might discover that it is rather difficult to get away without the kids, but it is crucial to discover a method!

There are several choices for parents, like you.

These options include hiring a babysitter or asking a relative to see the kids for a couple of hours.

Going out on dates when you are caring and loving moms and dads who have children takes mindful planning, however the effort is more than worth it.

When you are provided time alone, your relationship and intimacy levels can grow.

As a recap for this article’s love advice, I like dating because it can develop and nurture your relationship.

It can also assist to enhance ways to be intimate and your over-all intimacy, which is an essential component of a wonderful and healthy love relationship.

Bear in mind that a strong relationship often equates into more fun, love, and passion in the bedroom.

When looking to keep a relationship or develop, dating is a crucial component.

It is still crucial to comprehend dating and its significance if you are not in a major relationship right now.

Dating is a crucial factor in keeping your relationship fresh and alive if your relationship is that of marital relationship.

Each night does not have to be a date, however understand that going on a date with your spouse on a constant basis helps to guarantee that love and love stays a part of the relationship.

To keep your relationship strong, you will want to make a dedication to plan regular date activities with your partner.

(Please note, I also suggest seeking out the web for more helpful material on things like, happy married life and on the other hand when the ugly face of the divorce shouts out its ugliness.)

To success in love and life!

Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily – 7 Reasons

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I fall in love so easily?” then you may have experienced more than your fair share of heartbreak.

relationship advice falling in love how to take your time Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

Is HE my soulmate…?

Love is a magical, mystical force of the universe – and probably the most important thing to understand. Sometimes we fall in love with someone too fast, though, and that can lead to a lot of pain.

  • You may be dating someone that you have a lot in common with…
  • Sometimes the sex (aka, lust) is awesome…
  • Sometimes they just seem like just the person (and relationship) you’ve been waiting for…

But that doesn’t mean that they are your soulmate, or that this is a magical connection. And sometimes it is just lust, not love.

Here are some warning signs you should look for in my:

Why Do I Fall In Love So Quickly Quiz:

  • Do you occasionally find yourself feeling a deep emotional stirring for someone on the first date?
  • Are you easily charmed by warm people?
  • Do you frequently start thinking of a future with someone you’ve just met or been on one date with?
  • Do you have one night stands because you believe there’s a special “connection” with someone?
  • Do you really struggle with men who frequently disappear from your life after only one or two dates?
  • Do you really *REALLY* want a relationship and a family…?
  • Do you often describe yourself as a “hopeless romantic”?
  • Are you a “Love Quote” addict? Do you read a lot of love poetry?
  • Do you passionately believe in “love at first sight”?

10 Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

If you notice that you fit one or more of those signs, then this article is definitely for you.

What we’re going to do is break down the major reasons and causes of falling in love quickly so you can get your heart steady for The One who’s the RIGHT one for you!

“Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily?” – 7 Reasons You Never Knew

Reason 1: Your heart is starving – for love…

When I was dating in my 20s, I had a hungry heart.

Which meant I was really aching for love in a big way. I wanted a girlfriend, as well as a deep, fulfilling dating relationship with someone.

  • You might feel like this. And when your heart is this love-starved, you start to make some dating relationships look promising, even when they’re not.
  • You really just want to be in a relationship so bad that most guys you date look hopeful – even if they’re not.

Another part of a starving heart is that you may also have a slight addiction to the process of falling in love because of all the lust brain hormones that get released. Who doesn’t love that juicy feeling of falling in love? It’s thrilling and euphoric!

The feelings of lust versus love also very distorted – and unrealistic to maintain.

But still, some people get addicted to that lust sensation.

If you know your heart is particularly sensitive and looking to be filled, you should try to find a good balance of all areas of your life to help keep you from falling in love too easily while you’re dating.

Focus on your own mind, body, and spirit – while working to keep your community of friendships alive and vibrant.

Reason 2: You Need Balance…

Just like when our hearts are hungry, we often look to relationships to fulfill the emptiness inside ourselves. Sometimes this is just to get a sense of calm and peace that we haven’t been able to find in life.

why do I fall in love with men I date so easily Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

You can have it all…

If you find yourself frequently trying to soothe your anxiety with relationships, you may have some things that need to get worked out.

Remember when I told you that I was love-starved in my 20s? Well, that was only half of it. I was seeking a deep romantic relationships with someone as a cure for the damaged parts of me.

What I didn’t know then was that I would never have a truly fulfilling relationship until I took care of those parts of me in need of repair.

This is true for everyone!

I’ve never seen a dating relationship truly establish a solid foundation of true love until both of the people in it start to work on their unresolved junk. (i.e., “issues”)

You have to find a sense of internal balance to ground yourself, or you will keep falling in love quickly with men. And sometimes – with the wrong men!

Reason 3: You’ve Got Disney-phrenia…

Look, we all love a good fairy tale. They formed some of our most idealistic and hopeful visions of love as kids. They also gave us an understanding of the power of healthy love vs lust.

dos donts falling in love Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

Some day my prince will come…

And yet these same fairy tales and “princess movies” also distort the truth of dating and love like a warped mirror. These fairy tale stories and movies are also very  limited when it comes to describing reality.

The fact is that there are far more myths about love and relationships than there are truths.

The myths are always waiting to mislead us.

We have to be able to see where our idealistic view of love may lead us astray in the search for love.

Take a good close look at your beliefs about love, lust, dating, and relationships.

If you really want to get to the heart of this, sit down with a pen and paper and make a list of all the things you “believe” about love.

Really empty your brain of all the things you think are “myths” and truths so you can see if they all hold up under the light of scrutiny.

You’ll discover that they don’t seem quite as realistic when you put them down on paper.

Reason 4: You’ve Got A Blueprint…

One of the more counter-intuitive reasons you might fall for someone too easily is that you have very high standards for the kind of guy you want in your life. You might think that it’s the opposite – that someone who falls in love often must have pretty low standards.

But that’s not usually the case.

dos donts finding a soulmate Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

How do I know if he’s The One…?

Many people think that love happens because of what’s happening on the outside –

  • You meet a new guy
  • You have fun together (lust hits you)
  • You connect with each other
  • You fall for him…

So all of that MUST have been because you met the Right Guy… right?

But what’s really happening is that while you’re dating someone, you’re checking to see if all the signs and signals you’re getting match your inner blueprint of “love” – instead of just lust.

We all developed a specific “blueprint” of our ideal partner. It’s a product of our childhood, the movies we watched, our parents as role models (or not), and a ton of other different preferences we stored away in our hearts.

You have a very clear “imprint” in your soul for the person you believe is your soulmate.

Which means you should know what your blueprint is before you start dating someone. If you don’t, you’ll probably fall in love (probably more “lust”) with guys much too fast. Because when someone you’re dating matches your blueprint, your heart is going to swing wide open for him.

Reason 5: It’s A Strategy…

While men are often highlighted as being “commitment phobes” and “afraid of intimacy,” the truth is that women are just as likely to avoid true depth in their relationships with men.

Before you start writing me a nasty email – hear me out…

20 Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

Women are wide open in the early stages of dating, whereas men are not focused on starting up a relationship until a little later. That’s just his natural timeline. It’s not dysfunctional or “wrong” at all. It’s simply the way guys are.

But a common pattern is that many women jump headfirst into romance, and then inevitably rushing into a breakup. This ends the relationship before she had to get truly vulnerable.

So before you label someone as having “intimacy issues,” take a look at the patterns in your relationships and see if there are cycles you are repeating as well.

Reason 6: You may have an addictive personality…

Love, like any other potent and euphoric experience, can be habit forming!

why do I fall in love so easily with men Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

The science of love…

Addictive love is an unconscious attempt to satisfy our developmental hunger for security, feelings, power, identity, belonging, and meaning in our lives.

Remember that, yes, every emotion you feel may be REAL…

HOWEVER – not every emotion you experience was caused by something real!

Our emotions are created by what we’re thinking each and every waking moment.

Emotions just don’t pop into our head and hearts and hijack us. (Well, only in very rare neurological disorders.)

Keeping our feelings in this kind of perspective allows us to stop before an emotion (or a desire for an emotion or feeling) takes us over and consumes us. It also stops lust from appearing as love.

Having emotional perspective is the key to avoiding our most self-destructive relationships.

Reason 7: Pump The Brakes – And Look Around…

Sometimes we fall for someone simply because of a lack of options. Loneliness is easier when shared.

And yet you still need to be willing to slow things down a bit. Every so often, put the brakes on with your dating and just take in what’s happening in THIS moment.

why do I fall in love easily Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

Time to slow down.

Spend a weekend alone to see what pulls on you more – his absence, or the wash of good feelings that comes from the feeling of being IN love.

  • Shut off your hopes for the future…
  • Take in the view – this guy, your feelings, your whole life…
  • Be willing to see the flaws and where you might be ignoring the problems…

Ultimately, love is tricky. And who knows what the best “speed” is for falling in love?

Hey, even if you do fall a little faster than most people – or faster than you might like – that doesn’t mean that you’re not having a great experience, too.

I believe we’re all here to experience the world – and the universe – in our own unique and fantastic way. And for someone like you that might mean big tenderness in our hearts.

If you’re someone that does fall in love easily, I’d like to celebrate that.

And if you want to discover how to really connect with a guy so that he falls in love just as quickly and easily, go read this special report right now.

You’ll find out exactly what is stopping HIM from falling for you!

connecting with him2 Why Do I Fall In Love So Easily   7 Reasons   And How To Stop!

Online Dating – What Men Don’t Want to See in Your Profile

Dating apps – the modern way to date. Media portrayal of “when dates go wrong” has taken isolated incidents and made them the norm, so the likelihood of meeting somebody in a bar and starting something new is now very small. People just don’t trust each other.

Dating apps make dating safe and easy. Scrolling through profiles and choosing whether you like them or not has never been easier. It’s like shopping for your soulmate and you get an entire aisle to pick one from. All of them are different in their own way, but a lot are the same in many ways too.

I have been using dating apps for over a year, have had my own degree of success, but am now just using them to people watch and for entertainment – yes that’s right, entertainment! I use Plenty of Fish, Tinder and Bumble. Let’s explain a little about each one first:

• Plenty of Fish (or PoF) – this is the most complex of the three. You input a lot of information about yourself, likes and dislikes, what you are looking for and personality, there is even a “Chemistry Test” to complete for compatibility (although I am yet to see a profile with this completed). You then add photos of yourself, in the hope of attracting that one person, and write a detailed “About me” description. You are shown photos of potential matches in your area and when you click on them you are taken to their profile. There is then lots of information allowing you to decide whether or not to make contact. PoF also has a “Meet Me” section, which is a quick swipe where you decide based on one photo whether or not you would like to meet somebody – this is however a paid section and as such nobody uses it!

• Tinder – this is the famous dating app, where users swipe left or right depending on whether they like the look of the person in the photograph. Right for yes and left for no. Tinder allows you to view all of their profile photos, which can range from 1 to 8 images. If you like the look of the person and want to learn more, then you can tap on the bottom of the photo for their description – some people use it and others don’t. When a match occurs, the onus is generally on the male to make initial contact

• Bumble – this dating app is similar to Tinder, but laid out differently. On Bumble, the user scrolls up page by page to view details of the person that they are looking at and their additional images, but like Tinder it’s a left or right swipe depending on whether you are attracted to that person. Unlike Tinder, when a match occurs, the onus is on the female to make the first move, in fact the male cannot send the first message and the lady has just 24 hours to send that first message. If you particularly like your match then you can use a function to extend that 24 hours to 48 hours.

All sounds very complicated, but it really isn’t. I have found that the best “quality” ladies use Bumble, then Tinder and bottom of the pile are users of PoF. Bumble users tend to be professionals who enjoy “the finer things in life and world travel”, Pof users are less likely to be professionals and mostly enjoy “watching tv, going to the pub and family time”.

I have decided to write this, with a view to pointing out, from a man’s perspective, why the women on these apps become unattractive, despite how they may look. I also want to point out where women have their information wrong, when it comes to the male users of these apps. I know some men do not read the description that is painstakingly laboured over and go purely on looks, but there are many female users who do exactly the same thing.


Let’s look at how the profile is viewed when read.

There are many ways that profiles are written and the majority are very negatively composed, others are amusing and others are very sensitively and intelligently put together.

By “negatively composed”, I mean that they are an endless diatribe of why the user is hacked off with dating apps and men in general and what a potential match shouldn’t do, shouldn’t say in the first message and a very tight description of how they should look! They use phrases such as “just jog on” if a user is looking for something particular such as “one night stands”, “a skinny supermodel” or even “doesn’t like children”. These are all things that put a potential match off when they read your profile – it comes across as aggressive and being written by somebody with “attitude” and a dislike of men in general… I mean if you dislike men so intensely then why are you looking for one?

Sizeism is rife – I once read one lady’s profile and it simply read:

“What do you call a man under 6 feet tall? A friend”

How is this conducive to finding a match? OK it made me smile, but also made me realise what I was facing – I am 5 feet 8 inches and in the dating game, considered a “short a**e” and therefore not worthy of a date. Why limit your options to finding a good man, who can satisfy your every requirement, because he is an inch or two shorter than you when you have your heals on? It all seems to be about appearance, which immediately is a left swipe for me, because it shows how shallow these “beauties” are. “I want to wear heals when I go out and therefore this adds 4 inches to my actual height of 5 feet 3 inches” – oh so you are actually a “short a**e” too then?

Here is a quote from another profile. This one belonged to an attractive woman of 52 who was 5 feet 2 inches and looking for somebody of a similar age:

“Must be over 5 foot 10 (as I like to wear heals) and have a full head of dark hair”.

I thought, honey if he’s reached 50 plus and he still has a full head of hair he’s done well, but if it’s still dark then he’s using Grecian! If I wrote a similarly specific profile description and said, for example, “Must be a size 8 to 10, 34 BB and have red curly hair” I’d be shot on sight and get ignored by every woman who came into contact with my profile for being a misogynist! And it would probably be screen shot and shared around social media.

Clichés are another overused medium in Profile Descriptions – two of my absolute no-no’s are “looking for my partner in crime” and “love to travel abroad and in the UK”.

Looking for your “partner in crime”? Well I have no desire to help you bump off your ex, dismember him and scatter him around the county! I work in prisons, but have no desire to actually reside in one, thank you very much! LEFT SWIPE!

So you like travelling and holidays abroad and in the UK? I think that goes without saying, we ALL do! The fact that you mention it in your profile, for me, means one of two things. Either you could not think of anything interesting to write in your profile and thought “travelling” made you sound interesting or mysterious, OR you are looking for a partner who will whisk you away somewhere warm and sandy 3 or 4 times a year! LEFT SWIPE! I once called somebody out on this, we matched and I asked her “I see you like travel, what’s the nicest place you’ve ever been to?” She replied “Scotland.” I asked “No outside the UK”. Her response “Oh, I’ve never been abroad, but really would like to; maybe we could go somewhere together.” So you want me to take you abroad, because you can’t or won’t take yourself? Yet her profile stated that she liked to travel abroad.

Ladies complain that they feel their profiles go unread, but given the amount of profiles that I have read which are written in this way, there is no wonder that men don’t bother reading them. I can now quite accurately predict, just from a photograph, whether a profile is written in this way.

The other thing that puts me off potential matches is “attitude” in a profile – when a profile is worded in a way that is aggressive towards potential matches. Many profiles are worded in a way that aggressively states what the person is looking for, what a match should and should not have in their profile photos, what a match should and should not behave like, how they should word their contact message etc., these profiles usually end with the words “if this is you then ‘jog on’.” I hate this expression.

If you are writing a profile, ladies, and you want to attract a potential mate, then tell us about yourself, put some effort into it. Make us smile, grab our attention. Don’t, don’t, DON’T use clichés, or drone on at inordinate lengths about how bad men are, or Tinder in general is; listing your assumptions about how men are all after one thing, hung up on their ex, or married. These things just make you sound like Eeyore talking politics and nobody dates a donkey!


The profile picture is the first impression – it’s the thing that makes us decide if we wish to delve deeper into this person’s profile. In which case why put your profile image as a meme, a black screen, a photo of your kids, a photo of a landscape or a really close up photo of your eye? Really? Am I going to look at the rest of your pictures? Erm… no! As for my last example: is your profile a jigsaw, do I have to print off each photo in order to build a composite of your face?

There are a few things not to do when deciding which photos to include in a profile:

• Don’t use filters, ESPECIALLY Snapchat filters – if I want to see you with bunny ears, then I will buy you some, and if I want to see you with stars around you I will bang my head on something solid! These filters do not give an accurate representation of you and most of the time make you look scarily gruesome! When I meet you, I won’t recognise you and when I finally do see through all of the wrinkles, I may feel the need to iron your face and make you wear the rabbit ears and shiny red nose that I bought along with me to make you actually look like your profile picture!

• Pouting – NO! Some of you look like a puffer fish trying not to kiss a shark’s backside! Just smile and be natural – show me the sparkle in your eyes and the smile that makes the sun jealous.

• Skiing Photos – women complain that men’s photos always show them holding a fish (you would be surprised how many women have photos like this – you CANNOT describe yourself as an animal lover and stand there holding a suffocating fish) or standing by their car or motorbike. Well in my experience 75% of the female profiles I have visited show a photograph of them on the slopes leaning on their skis or something similar. We do not wish to see you in skiing goggles, hat, scarf, gloves, skiing overalls, big boots etc. All we can see is your red nose and all we can imagine is the copious amounts of snot you were trying to snivel up it, in order to have the photo taken without it running down and over your top lip onto your cashmere scarf!

• Tongue – Please do not upload a photo of you sticking out your tongue, especially if you are over 50. It just isn’t attractive in the slightest. I guess ladies think that it makes them look playful and fun, maybe even mischievous. It really doesn’t, it just makes me think that you ran out of photograph ideas

• Blurry Images – Given modern technology and the age of the selfie being upon us, there is zero excuse for the photos on your profile to be photos of old photographs or blurry in any way shape or form. They do not allow us to see what you look like

• Face Only – Please do not give me 8 photos of your head, from pretty much the same angle! I get what you look like after the first 2 or 3. I want to see more – show your personality in them, your style, show me what you like to do in your spare time (except skiing for obvious reasons) – it’s amazing what can be hidden when all that you are seeing is a face. Show me you in different clothes and at different times of the day – do not show me photos of yourself in different outfits in front of the same mirror, with the outfit that you were in in the previous image lying on the bed behind you or in a heap around your feet!

• Cheesy Puffs – Specific example here of what not to do. This particular (large – I think BBW is what they refer to themselves as) lady thought that it was attractive to place a photograph of her sitting in a plastic chair on her patio, legs out in front of her, slippers on, fag in one hand and an oversized packet of cheesy puffs in the same hand, her other hand shoving a handful of said cheesy puffs into her mouth! Hmmmm, NOT attractive in the slightest!

The things people do! And then they wonder why they are having little or no success. Many will even combine all of these things into one profile.

My profile has a variety of photographs, all taken recently, in different places, doing different things and in different forms of attire. One photo in particular got me a great deal of abuse from a few women. It is a photograph of me and a horse, I’m sure that I have no need to explain the quantity of female profiles that I have come across where they are pictured with a horse! Apparently the fact that I am shown with a horse who had buried his head in my chest upon our first meeting, shows me to be weak and feeble and not a man at all; I was told that it was not manly, was unattractive and “wimpish”. One woman really went to town on me about it, in a very abusive way, and it was really quite upsetting, but in essence shows the sort of person that she is and many others are on these sites.


Lots of ladies are looking for a gentleman, who is attentive, compassionate, caring etc., but when they get one, you discover they are actually attracted to bad boys and find that they think you have some kind of ulterior motive because you are “too nice!” No, I am just being who I am – a genuinely nice guy and a gentleman who wants to treat you right.

Another reason for the above, of course, is that these women have been treated so badly by other men, that they do not believe they deserve the right to have somebody actually be nice to them. This really saddens me, that many men treat women in this way, which gives women the impression that this is normal and being treated properly is not. I had one match who took advantage of me being nice, to the point where I found myself paying her household bills as I felt sorry for her. I had another who was convinced I was a really nasty narcissist, using incredibly complex psychological games to entrap her, when all I was doing was being genuinely kind and caring towards her because that is who I am and who I was brought up to be. She could not find a box to put me in, based on her past experiences, and consequently I was told it was over.

My experience and the matches that I have dated have, unfortunately, led me to conclude that the majority of us who use dating apps are, in some way or other, “damaged”, usually psychologically, by some incident in our life or experience with past partners. This therefore hinders our ability to “relationship” normally and consequently leads to us repeating cycles that ensure we remain in. To think that at some point in the future, every person in the modern world will have been on a dating app at some point in their lives!

Statistics actually show this to be true – they show that twice as many single people (compared to married people) suffer from mental illness, with single women being twice as likely as single men to suffer from severe psychological disorders. Showing that the majority of women on dating apps (at least two thirds of them) are completely bonkers! You have at best a 1 in 3 chance of dating a decent woman (women your chance is 2 out of 3 for dating a decent guy) – therefore for every 3 women I am matched with, only one is not suffering because of her past, if I am lucky.

All of that said, women are definitely the controllers where on line dating is concerned. They have the upper hand in what is acceptable for them to put in their profiles and photos. A guy doing the same sort of thing would end up having his profile reported a number of times and considered insulting or offensive for his wording. Women can state exactly what they are looking for even down to height, hair colour, facial hair etc. – a man doing that would be considered as an “AVOID”. Apparently women can write whatever they like, regardless of how offensive it is – again, a man would not get away with this. It seems people forget that they are trying to attract somebody who will like them and want to go out with them and at some point, presumably, enter into a relationship with them.

My own view on the whole profile thing is: honest images, that show not just my face but my whole clothed body, in clothes I like to wear and regularly do, in places that I like to visit. In terms of description, I describe myself and my personality honestly and succinctly and am honest about what I enjoy doing. I’ve been told that all of this makes me stand out from the crowd, but because it is so different to most male profiles it makes it look suspicious to potential matches! How ridiculous, that an honest profile can create suspicion amongst a myriad of fake ones, or rather people being insincere about who they are.

Due to everything I’ve detailed here, I have decided to limit my use of dating apps to “fun” only – by which I do not mean one night stands or any such shenanigans – that is people watching and entertaining myself, trying to guess from the initial image what the person will say about themselves and how their profile will read. I have also come to the conclusion that the majority of profiles are just people looking the way they think will attract the opposite sex, in terms of both images and description. I think many of the images are staged specifically for the dating app and that the description of self is worded using “commonalities” that are identifiers when searching for a compatible match.

During my research for this piece, I did speak to people who had matched on dating sites and found the love of their life. I spoke to more, however, who had trusted in dating apps for years (7 years is the longest anybody I spoke to had continuously been using these apps) and had no success at all. So it can be successful, but only for a very small minority of people.

I have decided to match the organic way, i.e. the meeting of minds and physicality that comes from a natural meeting somewhere, by chance, be it at a park or a bar or some such. Using dating apps just causes you to force the issue, when in reality it should happen naturally and in its own time. If it doesn’t happen, then at least I have known true love, which unfortunately ended due to terminal illness. I am just going to get out and actually talk to people and if anything is meant to happen then it will. If not, then I will just enjoy my own company and continue to take myself on dates! Or I guess I could register as an escort and have the ladies pay me to take them on dates or better still on holidays abroad… certainly worth considering if all else fails!

I will leave you with one final thought, rather ‘helpfully’ provided by a friend who has been happily married for many, many years. He said “You should avoid the Supermarket Dating App. I’ve heard that you just end up with a ‘bag for life’!”

What Is A Twin Flame Love?

You may have met a man and are wondering if he’s your Twin Flame. Heck, you might be wondering What IS a Twin Flame Love? And do I have one?

The definition of a Twin Flame is:  Twin flames are two people who were split into different bodies but share the same soul.

Which… yeah, kinda means that you might even run into a twin flame that is the same sex as you. Which may or may not change the idea of romance with them.

Twin flames make “soul mates” look and feel kind of lame in comparison, since Twin Flames are like soul mates – with a TURBO charge…

signs he is the one soulmate twin flame What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

But keep in mind that there is a possibility that your Twin Flame is not a romantic love. They may just be a deep and significant relationship in your life that you are forever connected to.

Some examples of movies with Twin Flame love stories are:

  • Ghost
  • Titanic 
  • Romeo & Juliet 
  • The Fountain
  • City of Angels

In each of these movies, the love connection was fierce and driven by forces outside of the usual “romantic connection.”

Often, these Twin Flame love stories have an element of tragedy in them. Sometimes it might even mean the death of one of them.

But the passionate connection of love between them creates a powerful story.

How You Feel When You’re With Your Twin Flame Love…

When you’re with your Twin Flame, you feel like you’re “whole” again. A higher state that feels more true and grounded.

It’s kind of like those necklaces you can buy that you break in two and give one half to the other person. When you’re with your Twin Flame connection, it’s like you’ve put those halves back together.

Do you believe in twin flames?

Let’s dig into this a little more…

First of all, are there different kinds of connections we share? As it happens, yes. Here are a few of them:

  • Soulmates
  • Kindred spirit
  • Karmic Soulmate
  • Life Partner
  • Twin Flame

You can think of these terms as describing where you are on a scale of “meant to be together.” On the far left, is “tragic romance,” like Romeo and Juliet.

On the far right is “Twin Flame.” These are the people that NEED to find each other to be complete. You might think of Jack Dawson and Rose from “Titanic.”

24 What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

And somewhere in the middle are most average relationships that can experience a few years – or even a lifetime connection that grows.

Are Twin Flame Connections REAL?

We have to recognize that people want to believe in magical forms of love. I call this the “Destiny Desire” in us.

We want to believe in a person out there that we are destined to be with. Humans enter this world with a feeling of this huge higher spiritual being that we are connected to.

We feel our souls are connected to it, but we also know that there are others we could also be connected with.

And, honestly, we don’t want to waste our time on people with whom we feel no connection.

In fact, you might even view the search for a Twin Flame love or connection as a bit of a curse. It can be much easier to just “settle” for a relationship with someone that you feel compatible and simply in love with. No hassle of finding that one-in-a-million person.

What Is A Twin Flame Love – Signs Of A Twin Flame Connection

Let’s jump right in with:

Twin Flame – Sign 1: Synchronicity and Coincidence

Do you seem to encounter a certain person no matter where you go?

If it feels like this person is connected to you and that you share a kind of spiritual familiarity, this person could be a Twin Flame love.

signs you have twin flame connection What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

Synchronicity is a concept defined by the great psychologist Carl Jung. It means:

“the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection…”

If you find that you encounter small events that put you together with a person, maybe even overlapping your lives in strangely coincidental ways, this could be a sign of twin flame connection.

Some people believe there are no coincidences. If you notice two events that seem to overlap or coincide, it’s an indication of intention from the universe.

Many people believe that if you’re destined to be with someone, you’ll know it…

Twin Flame – Sign 2: “Have we met before…?”

There are many people I encounter that I know I’ve met before – and I’m not talking about a past life – although it might have been another time.

There is a spiritual energy that we pick up on, whether we know it or not. The flames of our desire are fueled by this deeper connection.

If you’ve ever met someone that you felt a familiar connection to, you’ve probably experienced this. It may not mean that you’re a twin flame with them, but it’s a sign you should pay attention to.

They may feel like an old friend. Or they might feel like someone you knew in the past.

The key is to recognize this feeling of connection to them and explore it to see if there may be a twin flame relationship waiting to be discovered.

Twin Flame – Sign 3: A Reflection of Self…

When it comes to meeting your twin flame and recognizing them, one special sign is that you will also feel like they are a reflection of you. Their interests and desires will mirror your own.

is he my twin flame love What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

You’ll have:

  • Similar tastes…
  • Same style of clothes…
  • Similar background and upbringing…
  • Comparable taste in food…
  • Similar attitudes about life…

You’ll find that they almost seem to gravitate to all the same things in life that you have, and you’ll share a bond because of this.

Twin Flame – Sign 4: Grow, Spiritually and Personally…

One of the best parts of finding your twin flame love is that you both benefit from the growth of the union. The connection you share is a real meeting of your soul and theirs.

Growth from this is inevitable. 

You may find that they have the patience you lack, or you both are able to enable each other in ways you could not otherwise.

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Even if you do not share a True Love with each other, this feeling of connection is a powerful force between you. Being free of your worries about “will he love me” or “will he leave me?” you can now go back to yourself.

This means that your partner will support you in your desire to improve.

The only question is, will you have that desire after you start a relationship…?

I hope so!

Twin Flame – Sign 5: Well, It’s Kinda Divine…

Yeah, there’s a part of me that thinks all relationships have a certain amount of divine essence to them. If you’re with someone that is spiritually connected to you, that’s a taste of the divine.

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When we’re with the “great spirit” of the universe, we feel whole. Complete.

And that feeling also mimics the sensation of being back where we originated from – back from the unity of where we started. When we were all one spirit. (Okay, I’ll get off my new age soapbox now…)

Yes, this is probably something a bit too spiritual for some folks. But having a twin flame love means recognizing this divine feeling you have when you’re with them.

At its core – the essence of love is rejoining your connection with the divine.

And it’s how you know you’re not only with your twin flame love, it’s how you’ll remember your essential spiritual self. You’ll feel that this is the essence of your BEING.

If you get that feeling when you’re with him, it could be a sign of that Twin Flame nature of your relationship.

Twin Flame – Sign 6: Like a … Brother…?

Those people who have encountered or found their twin flame often describe their counterpart as feeling like they’ve rediscovered a part of themselves.

It can be kind of eerie, but there’s a bit of a feeling that this person could ALMOST be a long lost relative – like a sister or brother that you never had.

Remember that the essence of this Twin Flame union is when you realize you have another part of you that is seeking to reconnect with the person that connects to you.

The other half of your “soul.”

Twin Flame – Sign 7: With a 50 % Chance Of Thundershowers…

And – just like with a real brother, your relationship with a Twin Flame could be rather stormy and chaotic.

what is twin flame love What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

No love runs smoothly. If you heard otherwise, you got hoodwinked by the people that want to make love and relationships seem like a cake-walk.

Relationships are not where you get to duck,  hide, and escape from your spiritual essence – or the irritations of life. It’s where you will face your own shortcomings and areas of weakness.

Very often, love is misrepresented as a way to escape these dark and dirty parts of ourselves. The truth is that we are uniquely positioned to face these parts of ourselves when we have a twin flame connection.

You’re very likely to run into a lot of conflict and contention in a relationship with your twin flame.

If the idea of this frightens you, or makes you think, “That can’t be right” – then you may not be ready for this kind of connection to your twin.

They are here to challenge you – and your ideas about yourself. They will push you towards the shadow side of yourself you may not have known was hiding.

Twin Flame – Sign 8: He Might Run…

Initially, you have to be aware that a Twin flame relationship may be too much for a man to handle. There’s a lot of power and energy in this connection. If he senses the power of this, he may not be ready for it.

This kind of connection is often overwhelming to a guy. His emotions may flood and he may run from the relationship based on the intensity alone.

So you may have to be patient to ensure that you create this higher connection with him first.

relationship advice signs he is your twin flame What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

Don’t assume that just because the relationship is “going fine” that he’s just going to recognize that you’re a twin flame and want to be a part of it. Most men don’t seek out this kind of relationship until much later in life.

He may need time to mature before he’s ready for it. And for you!

And, to be honest, you will need time to mature as well. You may not have the skills to make the practical part of a twin flame relationship work quite yet.

This is why all the relationships you have along the way – especially the ones that don’t work out – are so important! Consider them the training for the Big Relationship when it comes along.

This might help you reframe your feelings towards those guys that don’t work out, too. It’s not all negative.

So take your time. If you sense that he may be more than just a soulmate, you have to be the one to shepherd the relationship forwards.

Twin Flame – Sign 9: You Can’t Quit…

Ultimately, you’re going to feel a certain level of gravitational and magnetic pull to your Twin Flame. You will find yourself wanting to be near them, waiting for the next time you can be close.

Once you meet your twin flame and start a relationship – or even before a relationship happens – you’ll feel the ache of their absence much more strongly.

When you’re apart, you’ll find yourself focused on when you can be together again.

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This won’t be at the level of the usual “infatuation,” either. This feeling of being disconnected will occur even years or even decades into the relationship. There can be a sense of deep physical and emotional disconnection.

For example: He might be away on a business trip. You call him on Skype or Facetime, but it’s still not quite the same.

(A video call with someone will give you about 70% of the feeling of being with that person. The last 30% is only available when you’re together.)

Another thing that will happen is that you’ll find yourself picking fights with him when he’s away, if only to stir up some passion and feel that connection once more. He might even do this to feel the same connection to YOU.

You might even wonder why you’re having such a strong emotional reaction, only to realize that your anxiety has jumped behind the wheel of your emotions.

But, inevitably, this aggravation only serves to stress your relationship.

What you’ll discover though is that you find it very hard to quit this kind of a relationship. In fact, you may find that it’s almost out of your control. The more you try to leave the relationship, the stronger it pulls you in.

And this is why you must have a good understanding of relationships to know if this is a kind of Twin Flame relationship, or possibly just an unhealthy one.

BONUS Twin Flames Sign: It’s Intense

The draw between two people that are sharing this kind of Twin flame connection is going to be very intense. In the same way that he may run from you because of this, you have to be prepared for the volatility and fiery passion of this kind of relationship.

A while ago, I vacationed in Rome and stayed in an apartment near the city center. I was taking a few minutes of downtime to read and relax.

As I sat on my bed, I heard a woman yelling – and for a moment I wasn’t sure if she was being attacked. (I could understand a bit of Italian, but couldn’t hear her words – they were too muffled.)

signs you have a twin flame connection What Is A Twin Flame Love?   And Is He Yours?

After a minute, I realized she was arguing with her boyfriend. I have to confess that I haven’t heard anyone fighting like that since I was a kid. It was loud, emotional.

And then I heard a crash as she threw something into the wall!

They eventually quieted down. Hopefully they made up as passionately as they argued.

I imagine she had that kind of passionate relationship with him – perhaps even a Twin Flame of her own.

That intensity of the connection can sometimes create an unbridled thunderstorm of love and passion at times.

Does Everyone Have A Twin Flame?

You also need to be clear on the reality that you might not have a Twin Flame out there.

Don’t be disappointed!

This simply means that you are essentially whole and complete already. Someone else might search their whole lives to get what you already have – a sense of being complete all by yourself.

So don’t grieve that you haven’t got this kind of relationship in store for you. It’s only a small part of the population that does, and it’s not always the kind of relationship you WANT, either.

While it may sound “romantic,” Twin Flame relationships are not necessarily a kind of special privileged magical relationship. Sometimes a normal, sweet, bonding love with a guy is all you need.

And even more important is knowing how to connect with a guy – so that when the time comes, whether or not he’s a Twin Flame connection, you’ll be able to make the relationship work as best as you possibly can!

Most women don’t have this skill. This is why so many relationships run into trouble.

Look – you can’t rely on the man to have the relationship skills to make him fall for you on his own.

He needs your help! And your skills to connect…

Don’t take a chance that you miss out with the man that you were meant to be with –

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Go find out how to connect with any man here…


Starting a New Relationship – Dating Tips for Women in Their 40s

If you’re a single woman in her 40s and you’ve recently started dating a great guy who you think might be the man for you, congratulations!

You’ve successfully navigated meeting him and going on the first date plus a few more. Perhaps you two have gotten past the initial small talk and have started discussing a relationship together. Now what?

First of all, now that you’re in your 40s, remember, you have all the time in the world. There is no need to race to exclusivity. Before you commit yourself to a relationship with this great guy, ask yourself, “Am I ready to take myself out of the dating pool?”

Before you remove yourself from the “after 40” dating scene, you want to make sure you’ve done a few things to be certain about what you’re doing.

How Many Mature Men Have You Considered?

Have you met and dated at least 10 men in the past year or so? If you’re close to that number, that’s OK. 10 is just a guideline. It is not a strict requirement.

What Types of Men Over 40 Have You Dated?

Also, have you allowed yourself to consider some very different men than you dated when you were in your 20s and early 30s? Now that you’re in your 40s, some of your husband requirements might still be the same as they were when you were younger. However, their order of priority might be different.

Let me give you an example. If now you’re a divorced and single mom, then you are not looking for great potential father material. Your children, hopefully, still have their father. What you’re looking for now is a man who would be a good step dad. A good step dad is typically more of a part-time job than a full-time job, unless your children’s dad is no longer around. This is just to illustrate how your life is different now than in your 20s.

Does Your Man Have Time to Share with You?

Also, by now that you’re in your 40s, you have an established career. You might not be looking for a man with massive earning potential because now you have that financial security and status yourself! What does that mean for you now for your after 40 mate selection? Naturally, you want a man who is financially stable. You also want a man who has enough time and outside interests to share himself with you and be an interesting life companion, right?

Now that you’ve considered what you want in a relationship and if you are saying yes to most of these questions, then, yes, by all means, agree to become exclusive! As the two of you start a relationship, remember to share both fun date nights going out as well as the daily activities of life, like grocery shopping together. Have fun and let me know how it’s going.