How To Know That You Love Someone

Love is the most tricky area of emotions for us to understand. It can be even harder if you’re wondering how to know that you love someone.

how do I know Ive fallen in love with him How To Know That You Love Someone

Is it really love?

Is it really love? Or is it just infatuation?

How can you know for sure that you’re in love with this person?

Well, before I tell you the signs of falling in love, I want to ask a couple questions –

  • Do You Feel In Love With HIM?
  • Or do you just love the feeling of being WITH him?

It might seem like that’s just playing with words, but it’s actually important. If you feel love for the PERSON – that’s an important part of being in love.  But if you just love the feeling you’re experiencing when you’re near this guy, you could also just be infatuated.

Infatuation is not really love, by the way. It’s often mistaken for love, but it’s not.

It’s a highly charged state of being that really equates to lust more than love.

Those initial chemicals that get dumped into your bloodstream when you meet someone that you feel a strong sexual desire for will create a perfect storm of desire in both of you. But the reality is that it’s not “love” at all. It’s simply a pure physical response to someone who might make some fast babies with you.

Hey, that’s how Mother Nature works.

Let’s jump into the signs of love, and then we’ll see how it applies to you…

How To Know That You Love Someone – 17 Signs

Sign #1: You’re Doped Up…

Falling in love means that your body is going to have a hormonal reaction. I know, not sexy when I say it like that.

But it goes back to what I explained about infatuation…

You’re going to feel a ton of drug-like effects ranging from:

  • Racing pulse
  • Sweaty skin
  • Heightened energy
  • Distracted thoughts
signs he is falling in love with me How To Know That You Love Someone

Chemical reaction? Or physical attraction…?

The list goes on and on. You are literally under the effect of a half dozen or more chemicals in your bloodstream and brain that affect the way you think and feel, including hormones like:

  • Vasopressin
  • Oxytocin
  • Serotonin
  • Adrenaline
  • Phenylethylamine
  • Dopamine
  • Estrogen

And we all know about Testosterone in the guys…

So you can be sure that you’re going to feel a wee bit dopey when the first part of “love” starts to show up in your system.

It’s literally like being under the influence.

Sign #2: Can’t … Stop … Looking …

One of the most dramatically obvious signs of love as it starts in your system is that you just can’t stop staring at the person you’re in love with. You’ll look at their face, their eyes, their body, their hair…

And it seems so darn irresistible in the moment that you’re near them.

I’m sure you’ve experienced this at some point. It was usually back in our teens that we found that certain people we were attracted to – or dating – had this magical magnetism that keeps us looking at them as much as possible.

You almost wish you could just sit there watching them for hours… but that would get kinda creepy.

01 How To Know That You Love Someone

This is one that is more obvious for women than men, mostly because women are much better at controlling their physical responses in social situations. Guys, on the other hand, have no problem staring in creepy ways, as you may have experienced.

Sign #3: Can’t … Stop … THINKING

Another compulsive behavior is when we can’t stop thinking about the person we’re in love with.

This is heavily influenced by those love hormones I mentioned earlier. Those hormones are actually rewiring your brain to desire and bond with that person you’re in love with!

Which seems a bit unfair, but hey… the reality of love is that you don’t get to choose the people you fall in love with.

So if you find yourself preoccupied with thoughts about your love interest,

  • or you can’t help fantasizing and imagining them…
  • or you just replay moments from the past with them like rewinding a movie you’re constantly streaming in your head…

You’re probably falling in love.

But I would encourage you to distract yourself as much as you can and not let yourself think too much about them. Constantly fantasizing about a person could put you in a position where you are the one that loves the most in the relationship.

And that means you could find yourself riding a crazy emotional roller coaster with him…

Sign #4: Giving and giving and giving …

One of the crazy signs of love is the one that makes us affirm our belief in why love is so good, even if it doesn’t always work out.

We tend to become very generous when it comes to falling in love. We start giving our everything to the person we want.

  • We give them our time…
  • We give our energy…
  • We give gifts…
  • We give food…
what men really want in a girlfriend How To Know That You Love Someone

How do you know it’s LOVE…?

Love seems to inspire us to generosity. And that’s a great thing – probably the best side-effect of falling in love. The more we give to others, the better everything can be…

You will also find yourself wanting to complete the circuit of giving by revealing more of yourself to him. Giving not only time, energy, gifts, and all that, but you find yourself wanting to give the very essence of yourself to this guy.

Just take care and pace yourself. Sometimes over-sharing can freak a guy out.

Sign #5: Numb to Other Concerns …

One of the curious signs that you’re in love is that you don’t really seem to care about other problems going on in your life. Or, at the very least, you won’t notice those other problems.

You’ll feel that most of the things that were troubling you just don’t matter quite as much.

  • Money troubles? Meh, no biggie….
  • Problems with mom? So what…
  • Your boss giving you grief? Who cares…
  • Girlfriend not calling you back? Who needs her…

Love has a great way of both distorting your emotions AND diminishing your troubles.

Sign #6: Way Out Of The Comfort Zone …

One of the things that a new love interest can do for you – and those love hormones – is that it pushes you out of your comfort zone. Big time…

You’re way more willing to go and try new things. Everything from:

  • New foods – you’ll try stuff you wouldn’t normally go near…
  • New clothes – if your guy buys you something that’s not your usual, you’ll try it…
  • New adventures – if he drags you along to the rock climbing gym, you’ll give it a whirl…
  • New places – the thought of travel with him means you’ll go places you never would have gone to alone…
where is relationship going How To Know That You Love Someone

You’ll go anywhere, and do anything…

Again your life seems more open and expansive when you’re in love, so you start exploring things you may have been interested in – or just to understand the world of your partner more.

When you feel that you have a companion love interest, and that this love energy is starting between you, you start to realize that your world can open up more. And you feel you can take more risks.

It’s only later that our relationships tend to close-in and get a little more routine. That’s the part we have to watch out for later on!

Sign #7: Nothing Is Too Nasty …

Ever notice how you’ll do all kinds of wild & wacky things at the start of love?

Nothing ever seems all that gross to you. (Yeah, I’m kind of hinting at the gooey stuff we do in the bedroom.)

When you’re in love, you’re not going to be as hung up on the small gross things you have to do. Body stuff just isn’t that big a deal.

I won’t go into gross details here, but you know what I mean. You’ll find your threshold of “ICKY!” goes way up when you’re in love…

Sign #8: SUPER Energized …

Another way the body participates in the building of emotional love is in your energy level. Overall, you’ll feel more energized.

Some could even say that this energy doesn’t just come from the adrenaline dumped into your system by those hormones.

23 How To Know That You Love Someone

Love is itself a form of energy that we can tap into. Maybe not directly, like plugging your cell phone into a wall socket to recharge it, but love can have that effect on your psychic and physical energy levels.

It feels like a recharge of our willpower, as well, allowing us to tackle those difficult situations that we might have given up on.

Sign #9: The Body Acts Up …

Scientific studies have shown that when we start to fall in love, we experience “mild flu-like symptoms.”

You might feel a bit physically ill when they’re not around. You can oscillate from really excited and energized to feeling queasy and under-the-weather in a matter of minutes. Your body is responding to the presence of – and withdrawal from – your love interest.

Sign #10: The Quirks Come Out At Night …

Quirkiness is defined as:

“Characterized by peculiar or unexpected traits…”

And Quirky things about our love interest will show up all the time as we’re getting to know them.

  • Maybe they apologize too much…
  • Maybe they snore…
  • Maybe they have a silly laugh…

These are all part of the quirks we experience of other people.

signs man you are dating really likes you How To Know That You Love Someone

Signs you’re in love with him…

Now, in the beginning stages of falling in love, we are so much more tolerant of the quirky behaviors and odd parts of a person’s personality. We accept them at the start.

What we must watch out for is the tendency to turn those quirks into “things to get rid of” or to change about them later. We have to appreciate the diversity of behavior of our partners as much as we do the things that jive and are compatible.

If you’re in that accepting space, there’s a good chance that you’re in love.

Sign #11: No Pain – All Gain …

Believe it or not, even physical pain is muted when you’ve got that love bug going on.

You’ll notice that body aches and even your symptoms when you get sick are pushed to the background. You’re going to have a much higher tolerance for discomforts.

A Stanford University School of Medicine study had participants look at a photo of someone they were in love with and found that this reduced moderate pain by up to 40%. Looking at the image and inducing that feeling also reduced severe pain by up to 15%.

I remember when I was dating and falling for someone, we’d lay next to each other in the most uncomfortable ways on the couch as we watched movies together. I’d cramp up after a while, but I’d be so happy just cuddling with them.

Somehow, those little pains just didn’t register.

Who needs ibuprofen when you’ve got Love!

Sign #12: What Does Your Gut Say …?

One of the most reliable – if not THE most reliable – indications of how to know if you love someone is if you start hearing that voice from inside telling you this is something right.

Most people don’t know the real source of this focus on “trusting your gut.” Scientific studies have revealed a whole nerve center in the body comprised of the Vagus nerves.

attracting men how to stop being insecure needy How To Know That You Love Someone

Yes or no?

Centered in the brain stem, the vagus travels through the neck and into the chest. It then splits into the left vagus and the right vagus. Each of these nerve highways is composed of tens of thousands of nerve fibers that branch out into the heart, lungs, stomach, pancreas and almost every other organ in your gut.

It’s like a whole secondary part of your body’s awareness – only focused on your gut and internal organs. And it’s one that you should pay attention to, because it has its own intelligence.

This is why you get sensations from this part of your body when you’re contemplating situations or people in your life.

Listen to your gut, because it’s probably very aware of answers you might not be able to see.

And yes, it knows if you’re in love or not, too.

Sign #13: You Elevate Them …

When it comes to meeting needs, when you’re in love you may find yourself prioritizing your partner over yourself. You have a willingness to put another person’s needs and desires over your own.

Just like with physical generosity, you’ll find yourself going out of your way to accommodate them and make them happy.

You’ll find yourself reorganizing and re-prioritizing to make things work.

What we have to do is watch out that this behavior doesn’t go on too long, as it can blind us to relationships that may not work out quite the way we expect. And we run the risk of overlooking our needs and not giving ourselves the kind of self-care we need.

Sign #14: You’ve Got The Triangle Of Love …

Cornell University’s Dr. Robert J. Sternberg’s idea is that there are three elements of love:

  • intimacy (the desire to feel closely connected)
  • passion (physical and emotional stimulation)
  • decision/commitment (the resolve to stick together)

This is called his triangle theory of love, showing the 3 necessary elements of love.

15 How To Know That You Love Someone

Keep in mind that the third one is usually more implied than an actual decision you come to rationally. For most couples, deep connection forms the implied commitment to stay with their partner.

And I’m sure we’ve all experienced partners who SAID they were going to be there (i.e., gave us the words), but then fell through later on.

Sign #15: But – What Do THEY Feel…?

When you start to realize you’ve got these intense feelings for someone, the next natural development of your love is to wonder if they are thinking or feeling the same about you.

We go off on long search expeditions to see if there are any hidden “signs” to watch out for.

  • You look for signs they’re missing you the way you miss them…
  • You replay conversations to see if there was hidden meaning…
  • You watch for words and re-interpret texts to see if they’re into you or if you’re just crazy…

You’ll even notice how your body reacts and surges into life when he mentions wanting to get together with you or meet up with you.

Sign #16: You Feel Better About YOU…

One of the nicest side effects of being in love is that you start to feel better about yourself. You start to experience an expanded sense of yourself.

You feel like you’re smarter and better than you were before you met them. This is called “self-expansion.”

A new person in our life will help us to flex the idea and definition of our “self” – whether that’s including their hobbies as ours, or just feeling that spiritual growth that comes from the connection between you and him.

Sign #17: You Might Be Freaking Out…

Emotions tend to become more volatile and passionate when we’re in love. Which means you’re going to feel yourself almost getting non-stop PMS.

Well, okay, not that bad. But you will find yourself getting much more flustered over the small stuff.

signs you have fallen in love with someone How To Know That You Love Someone

Does he love you, too…?

These freak-outs are normal. In fact, your friends have probably picked up on your heightened anxious state and just don’t know how to tell you to chill out.

Another way you’re freaking out is that you might be feeling that anxiety of wondering how to keep him interested in you and attracted to you.

You’re dealing with a hair-trigger feeling of being emotionally vulnerable.

And you are. You’re exploring your own love as well as the uncertain space of another person’s feelings about you. This can really challenge you.

You’re in a place where you’re in love, the most powerful feeling of all, and yet you might feel terribly unstable. You might find yourself reaching to find a way to steady yourself.

You’re even going to find yourself wanting to say the “Big 3” to them at some point. You know, those 3 words that mark the start of something special…

“You’re a Taurus?”

Just kidding.

You know what the big 3 are – “I Love You.”

Somehow we feel compelled to say that to them as soon as we even suspect we might be in love. We feel the compulsion to confess our true feelings.

But telling him your feelings too soon could scare him off before the relationship can really take off.

Even if you KNOW you love him – you still have to know he will love YOU!

In fact, most women really don’t know what to say to men to make him HEAR her…

Or make him really connect with her…

If you’d like to know how to make men desire you with the power of your words alone, you need to see this…

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When You’re Back on the Dating Scene

With so many relationships breaking down and such a high percentage of marriages ending in divorce it’s no wonder that many of us will, at some point, end up back on the dating scene.

We may be older and wiser, a little battered and bruised, but often, once we’re ready to date again, thinking about rejoining the fray, we’ll be harbouring the fantasy of meeting someone special. Back on the dating scene means being optimistic, hopeful and looking forward to finding love again.

What do we need to consider when we’re back on the dating scene?

– Our previous relationship experiences may have scarred our view and made us wary of what might go wrong. We may be keen to meet someone new but are nervous of trusting again. Cynicism of others’ motives and being uncertain of our own instincts after getting it wrong may be sensible forms of self-protection, but if we treat all new dates with apprehension they will quickly sense our hesitancy and lack of enthusiasm. It’s not going to bode well if we’re on permanent alert, suspicious of their comments, behaviour or intentions.

Counselling and hypnotherapy can be a useful start to the healing process and a good way to deal with past upsets. Therapy can help us to improve our confidence, self-esteem and remedy unwanted habit patterns, so becoming more assertive in an appropriate adult way. Don’t forget that most potential dates will have their own story too, with their concerns, unease and fears. Starting out, second time around, can be a cautious time for both.

– This can be a good time to do things that boost your confidence. Maybe your wardrobe, make up or grooming regime need a refresh. Small changes can make a massive difference to how you feel about yourself and often cost very little to implement. Pay attention to current affairs, popular TV and local events so that you can easily join in conversations and offer relevant opinions. Think about picking up a hobby or interest, volunteering or joining a course. Exams don’t have to be a factor!

– You may have to deal with children who are not too impressed at the thought of you dating again. They may have been through the damage of the breakup, witnessed the pain of the divorce and are used to you being around, more like your old self and always there for them. The thought of a new ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ arriving on the scene may fill them with horror.

Dependant on their age and awareness of the reasons for the breakup, they may have put your ex on a pedestal, especially if he or she is seen as the victim, all alone and struggling to recover. Giving you ‘permission’ to starting dating again might seem like a step too far and incredibly disloyal.

Children’s jealousy, resentment and emotional blackmail may need to be navigated with kind but firm determination, especially if they refuse to share you or treat any potential serious new relationship with shock or disdain. Sometimes it’s advisable to keep the fact that you’re dating private until you’re confident that this new relationship is right for you, even if that decision remains in place for months or even years, until the children are older or more settled.

And if they do insist on overseeing your love life it’s important to refuse to allow yourself to be bullied by them. Older children are often determined to live their life on their terms, but equally they must allow you to do the same.

– Ageing, older parents can sometimes start to increase their demands just as you’re ready to start back on the dating scene. They may be increasingly fragile and in need of greater levels of support. There may be concerns at leaving them unattended for too long, or that you could be called away at a moments notice. It could make the notion of dating again seem like too much hassle.

But supportive friends or the services offered by many local care agencies could potentially step into the breach and provide whatever level of support is required to help ease those concerns. And mobile phones make us all easily accessible.

– Friends too can send mixed messages. Sometimes at the outset, they may display great enthusiasm about getting you back on the dating scene. They may be keen to introduce you to single friends, arrange coffees, support you as you aim to lose a little weight and update your image. But then, if you become more committed to dating reality may sink in for them. The awareness that if you become serious about someone new and how it could significantly change your close, supportive relationship may hit them hard and prompt them to revise their approach.

Become aware of them starting to discourage you or of them regularly finding fault with your new love interest. Trust your gut and pay attention to any reasonable concerns they may have, but also appreciate that other people’s perception of your date will be different to yours, especially if they’re coming from a long-established, cosy, familiar relationship scenario.

Have some fun, take good care of yourself and enjoy getting back on the dating scene!

Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

Texting seems to be the new battleground of dating these days. And if you’ve been waiting for a guy to text you back, chances are you’re also wondering “Is he waiting for me to text him?”

is he waiting for me to text him Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

Even if you’re over 30 (as most of the women I coach are) – and you’re looking to get married, or just have a passionate love affair – you’re probably using text messages to communicate with him. And let’s face it, 20 year olds don’t need dating advice. (Those young women only really need experience.)

I’m here for the woman who has reached an age where she’s serious about her relationships and is ready for her “forever man.” And I’m betting that’s probably what you want.

What you need to win him is –

A few good texting strategies to understand how to text a guy in a way that gets him to text you back…

And so you don’t wait around on him wondering if you should make the first move.

You need some straight facts about how to text men – from a guy. 

Sound interesting to you?

Okay, then let’s get started!

First – you’re probably wondering this:

Are There Rules For Texting Guys?

The short answer is, YES – there definitely are rules for texting men. (And when NOT to text men.)

RULE 1 FOR TEXTING A GUY: Don’t text any emotions to him…

He won’t know what to do with that, even if they’re positive loving emotions.

Some guys just freeze up like a deer-in-the-headlights when emotions are put in front of them like this.

And to be honest, if you’re using texts to say emotions instead of speaking them, that could be a sign of too much fear in your new relationship. That fear will just sabotage the connection you want.

RULE 2 FOR TEXTING A GUY: Stop using so many emojis and punctuation marks…

Guys – MATURE guys – will think this is immature and the mark of an unintelligent woman.

Also, if you feel that you need to put emojis or a lot of punctuation in your text message, that probably means you didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about how to say what you’re trying to say.

As a famous author once said, “Pardon how long this letter is – if I’d had more time, it would have been shorter.”

And a related rule is also: Spell out your words, and spell them right!

You still want to look smart – even when texting. A guy is still evaluating you, the same way you’re evaluating him. Show him the best possible version of you by putting effort into all your communications. Yeah, even texts!

RULE 3 FOR TEXTING A GUY: Never text him more than 2 times to “get his attention…”

Women are notorious for wondering if the guy got her text – and then proceeding to keep sending 17 more text messages to him to “make sure.” (Yeah, guys do this one occasionally, too.)

dating tips dos donts of texting men Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

Here’s a fact: Guys see through the “just wanted to make sure my text got through!” excuse. 

Or that extra lame: “Just wanted to say hey!”

Mmm-hmmm. Sure.

Here’s another fact: Text messages almost NEVER get lost. 

Trust that he saw your text, and he’ll respond when/if he wants to.

If you’re still in doubt about him, you really should be calling him at some point. Because if he doesn’t respond to a phone call or message, you know immediately how he feels about you.

(Which is probably why so few people do this…)

RULE 4 FOR TEXTING A GUY: Don’t use texting because you’re chickens**t…

Let’s be real for a moment here… A lot of people use texting as a way to avoid confrontation and to take the easy route in communication.


Sure, texting is fast and easy, which means you can send more little itty bitty messages over the course of the day.

Texting FREQUENCY does not equal IMPACT!

In fact, I often ask the women I coach why they’re texting him instead of calling him – and I all I get is crickets.

16 Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

You have to be willing to reach out and invest a little in your communication with a guy. If you’re texting him all the time, you’re actually holding him back from really connecting with you.

Men ghost women because they feel like they were in love with the IDEA of her more than the reality of her.

So take that step to reach out and talk to him. It’s the only way you will ever find out if he’s the One for you, too.

Next up – I’ll bet you’re wondering:

Should I Text Him First?

This, friends, is the Million Dollar Question that every woman wants to know.

Generally speaking, you don’t want to be the one to text a guy first. Let’s go through the reasons why this is so important:

  1. If you text him first, he knows you like him.

And this means you’ve lost your “home field advantage.” He now knows he doesn’t have to really work to attract you. And there’s no mystery. So being first does not mean you’ve sparked his interest.

2. If you text him first, you’ll never really KNOW…

Let’s be honest, one of the most important things you have going into a relationship with a guy is knowing if he REALLY is into you. If he texts you first and lights the fuse of passion, you know where you stand.

how to flirt using texting Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

On the other hand, if you light that fuse, even if you start a big romance, you’ll always wonder, won’t you?  Would he have initiated if you hadn’t done it?

3. When you get right down to it, texting is really lame…

Look, I hate to be the one that breaks this to you, but there was a time when there was no such thing as texting. I know, crazy, right?I remember those days, and I remember what it was like. People called each other and put some effort into connecting with someone. Now  you just have to twiddle your thumbs for a few seconds to create a text – and you never even have to see or hear him while you’re doing it!

Sorry, but when it comes to romance, that’s just pretty flippin’ lame. I don’t care how long you thought about what to text him.

It’s like when someone shows me a “modern art’ painting of a canvas that’s been painted completely white. And then they have the nerve to tell me that there’s something deep and artistic there. Sorry! There isn’t. Nobody likes it when we call this out because defining art is frowned upon these days.

Well, again, sorry. I believe that art should take talent and effort.The same way communicating and creating love should take effort and sincerity.

4. If he can’t reach out to text you, he’s probably weak…

As in, he’s a weak, not-so-courageous man.If you’re a guy reading this, that probably stings like hell. And it should! Let’s face it, there are a TON of weak men in the world these days.

A man better have the guts to send out a text to you all by himself, or you’ll wonder if he’s going to stand and protect you when the need arises.Do you want him strong, or weak?

5. When a woman texts him first, it’s probably coming from insecurity…

The simple fact is that we don’t want to face the idea that we like someone and they’re not interested in us. This feels like rejection, for a reason that very few of us can really explain.

After all, is it REALLY rejection? Nope. It’s just a difference in taste – and probably timing, too!

Whether or not someone feels attracted to us is totally irrelevant to our TRUE value. Consider this the next time you feel that insecure voice speaking up from within.

The fact is that most people are so fearful to communicate directly and with confidence that they fall into a pattern of using texts to play more games.

If you’re over 30 or so, and you’re ready to start dating like a responsible adult, you know that you don’t want the game playing.

Now, the next question that’s likely to come up is this:

Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Texting Tips

Let’s start really looking at this situation with some focused text tips you can use…

Is He Waiting For You? Tip 1: Why Would He Wait?

tips for dating success right time to text Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

This is a big question, because it usually brings everything into sharp focus…

Why would a guy wait for you to text him?

Here are some of the reasons:

  • He’s waiting because he’s scared…
    Hey, this is pretty common these days. As I said earlier, guys are fraidy cats.
    But if you want this romance to happen, you may need to help him along to get this thing started.
    The key is that you don’t want to be the one putting in MOST of the effort. If you feel a huge compulsion to text him because you think circumstances are LIKELY (key word!) to get in the way, then send the darn text. Just don’t get into a game of pinning all your hopes on his reply…


  • He’s waiting because he’s got other options…
    Hate to break it to you, but this is very possible. And it could be your reason for wanting to avoid waiting around. If he’s got another woman he’s interested in, you’re probably thinking you shouldn’t let him forget about you.
    If you know this is the case, then you’re right, you want to be on his radar. But in this situation, you’re better off calling him.
    Why? Because the other women are also probably hoping to create a fairytale romance only using texts – which is easy to beat. AND he’s going to bump you up in priority if you actually show the guts to call him up.


  • He’s waiting because he’s clueless about texting…
    Yeah, this is part of the reality today. Most guys aren’t very hip to texting. We men don’t use texts for the same reasons women do, so we’re going to suck at it.
    In fact, men have NEVER been very good at texting! Even when ‘texting’ was actually ‘sitting down and writing a letter,’ that’s probably where the job of “secretary” was invented.
    This one is so big that I’m going to cover it more later on…


  • He’s waiting because he’s distracted – or he forgot…
    So this isn’t really waiting. This is just him either forgetting, or he got sidetracked.
    NEWS FLASH: Guys aren’t multi-taskers!  We’re linear thinkers. So some other thing may have come along and grabbed his attention. He may have just forgotten that you sent that text. (Which is also a reason you might just want to send a “Just wanted to say Hey!” text to him.

Why Won’t He Text You? Tip 2: Be More Interesting…

One of the texts I used to get a lot from women I dated were along the lines of: “Just wanted to say HEY!”

Which always made me scratch my head, because if you are going to take the time to text me, you might want to say more than that. I just thought that was… boring.

texts to send your boyfriend melt his heart Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

And that reveals the truth behind this situation: You need to be better!

Better than what?

  • Better than the last girl…
  • Better than the next girl…
  • Better than whatever he’s currently preoccupied with…

These days, every guy in the world has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder. Which is to say, he’s got a typical guy’s attention span. He’s going to be distracted by the next shiny thing that comes along, until he’s got a reason to really FOCUS on you.

So be more interesting than sending “just wanted to say hey!” when you text a guy.  You’ll have to think about better texts, but that’s not a bad thing.

What Is He Waiting For? Tip 3: Honestly, He Hates It…

Guys don’t really dig on texting that much. I’ll be just as honest and tell you that I don’t either. 

I only use texting for logistics – asking a question about something, usually. Or just reminding someone of a time or place to meet.

Texting is not where you build a relationship. And guys get this. The same reason men don’t have social lives in our phones is because guys intuitively know that online communication is cotton candy. One taste – and it’s gone.

Guys also know that texting does not communicate emotional meaning…

We men have a hard enough time communicating emotions from our emotions. Texting adds a whole layer of complexity that we don’t want to get too mixed up in.

Guys know that texting just doesn’t allow us to communicate clearly.

SECRET:  Men HATE being misunderstood by women in a way that triggers her anger. It’s one of those things that guys will do ANYTHING to avoid.

Is He Waiting For You? Tip 4: NEVER EVER Text From a Place Of Desperation…

Guys are on alert for women that seem to NEED for a relationship in their life. We avoid women who seem desperate to find a relationship.

how do i get boyfriend back Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

These are the women that we typically label as “clingy.” Even if it’s not true, and you’re just eager to start a relationship, it feels a bit weird to a guy. It’s got that “nervous salesperson” energy to it.

You ever walk down a big city street and someone asks you a question and you just KNOW they’re going to try to sell you something? You just sense it and your guard goes up.

THAT’S what it’s like for some guys when we detect an eagerness about you that seems out-of-place.

And yeah, this is one of those rules that doesn’t have an exception. DON’T text from desperation!

Should You Text First? Tip 5: How Long Should You Wait To Text Him…?

What if he did text you first, and you just saw it hit your phone like fireworks.

Now what? Do you immediately respond?

Most women think way too much about this one, from what I’ve seen. It’s almost like the first opportunity to start playing the “hard-to-get” game – and it’s GAME ON!

Again, there’s a simple rule to this that I teach my clients:

What would a Highly Desirable Women (HDW) do in this situation?

12 Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

Well, first of all, she probably wouldn’t have NOTICED that text for a couple hours. And then she would have replied with a quick “Oh, sorry, just saw this now… Was out shopping for a fedora for my hamster…”

Okay, maybe not exactly that – but she would have started out with that tiny apology: Sorry, just saw this now…

And then she’d launch into a happy reply text. And not getting all caught up in her head about the PERFECT thing to say.

But what if you just got the text and saw it right away? Should you wait to text? Should you play the “game”?

What would an HDW do in this situation?

She’d just be pleasantly surprised and let that energy fuel her reply message. (Nervous, insecure women tend to infuse a certain level of edginess in their texts.) She wouldn’t wait for an hour to “game him.” She’d just reply because it was convenient and she had a moment.

That’s it!

But don’t reply back to him immediately every time! Go keep yourself busy and stop checking your phone every minute. You’re not missing out on anything, trust me.

You see most women get into this situation and they miss the next tip –

For That First Text Opportunity – Tip 6: Where Is This Going…?

No, I don’t mean that you should ask him “Where is this going?” – that would be way too creepy.

signs he is hiding his feelings for me Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

What I’m saying in this tip is that you have to have an idea where this chain of texts with him is going.

  • Is it leading into some fun dialogue?
    Then cut the texts short and setup a time to talk with him. The longer you stay in texting mode, the easier it is for you to mess the whole thing up….
  • Is this leading to setting a date/time to meet up?
    Well then move in that direction without too much banter. Don’t go back and forth with him hoping that the date is just going to spring up on its own. If you have to, HINT to him that you’re available for gosh sakes…
  • Is this texting leading to flirting a little?
    Well then know what you’re going to say – and when you’re going to cut it off!
  • Is it to check in with him?
    Well then check in, find out what’s going on, then tell him you have to get going.
    You’re busy. And if you’re not busy, then GET BUSY…

There’s really only two goals you want to have in mind with your texting:

  1. Flirt and tease him a bit to drive up attraction…
  2. Set a date.

That’s really it!

You’re not trying to create a relationship with him in text messages. Just get him curious and get him to meet up with you again in person.

And if you tell me, “Carlos – this is over-simplifying things!”

I’ll tell you, “No, you’re just overCOMPLICATING this stuff!”

Is He Waiting For You? Tip 7: If He’s Only In For The Fun …

One of the keywords you should be on alert for is the word “fun.”

You see, guys love fun. And he wants to know that you are fun before he’s going to get into a relationship with you.

HOWEVER – if all he ever emphasizes about you both in text or otherwise is the “fun,” there’s a good chance that’s all he wants. Which means there’s no use in texting him at all, because that’s all he’s going to want.

You’re free to go for the booty call direction, but realize that if you know what he’s looking for and choose to keep supplying it, it’s not likely that you’re ever going to have a relationship.

You can’t sneak in the back door of love.

What’s Taking So Long? Text Tip 8: The Game Isn’t Winnable …

A lot of women think that the way guys work is some kind of “game playing.”

For example:

  • Sheila gets a text from Bob…
  • Sheila responds right away, sending Bob a text back…
  • Bob answers with something flirty and cute…
  • Sheila texts him back…
  • And then … no reply from Bob.

QUESTION: Bob is –

A) Playing games with Sheila by not responding

B) Bob is intimidated by Sheila

C) Bob is just doing something else other than texting Sheila at that moment

You probably saw A and your history of this sort of thing made you want to scream out “He’s messing with your mind, Sheila! Dump him!”

But when you read C, you realize, “Oh, okay. Maybe he is actually doing something else.”

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Here’s the reality, for anyone who cares to believe it: Guys don’t really play mind games. Texting or otherwise.

Women know that they are more savvy to game playing and how it works (probably having played a few “hard to get” games themselves). And that’s why women tend to think that when a guy withholds or is aloof that he’s playing a “game” intentionally.

Sorry to tell you that guys simply don’t do this stuff. Men are just more naturally aloof and distant when it comes to relationships.

You should read that again – because it’s the KEY reason most women misunderstand men:

Men are just more naturally aloof and distant when it comes to relationships.

Men do not feel the same drive to commit to a long-term relationship AT THE SAME TIME a woman does.

Notice that I didn’t say he doesn’t have a drive to commit at all. That’s simply not true, and another of those misperceptions about men.

(Just imagine how much you could learn from listening to a guy like me who can tell you what men think and what we want!)

You might think that a guy’s silence when texting means something, but it mostly doesn’t mean anything.

  • It doesn’t mean he’s ghosting you…
  • It doesn’t mean he’s not interested – or that he IS interested…
  • It doesn’t mean he’s bored…
  • It doesn’t mean he only wants sex…

Men don’t place that much importance on texting – or the meaning behind it.

And honestly, that means he probably doesn’t really mind if you text him first. He’s not waiting; he’s just otherwise occupied.

Text Me Already! Tip 9: Don’t Go Too Crazy With This…

Ultimately, the “rules” about texting come down to one simple idea:

signs men show when they want to marry Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

What would a healthy, secure woman do?

  • Would she sit around constantly checking her phone?
    NOPE. She’d be too busy talking with friends, talking with her date, enjoying her life to care that much about what her PHONE is doing.
    Doesn’t that seem kind of silly? We pay more attention to our PHONES than we do ANYTHING else in life right now.  That’s seems pretty crazy, if you ask me.
  • Would she spend hours crafting the right text for him?
    NOPE. She’d just send the simple message, then get back to her life. Mostly because none of her texts would come from a needy place – of needing to be accepted.
  • Would she spend hours agonizing over the meaning of any of his texts?
    NOPE. She’d just go with her gut and decide if this was a relationship that made sense for her. Not if she was lonely.

A High-Value woman would just text – or not. And then get on with her life.

We live in a world where we have WAY too much time to think about things that don’t add any happiness to our lives.

And by thinking about those things, we steal the happiness FROM our lives!

A Highly Desired Woman (HDW) never seems to have problems with guys – whether it’s texting men, or getting them to desire her.

Many women think that these Highly Desired Women are special in some way. That they have a gift, or that they’re just unusually “hot.”

And nothing could be further from the truth.

These women KNOW how men think – and they understand how men work.

And the best thing is that anyone can learn what she knows!

signals that hes just not into you Is He Waiting For Me To Text Him? 9 Smart Texting Tips

Go discover what the Highly Desired Woman knows that you don’t….

Why Dating Apps Are No Longer A Dirty Little Secret

Even though online dating has been around for decades and new dating apps are popping up every day, are your Mom and Dad still freaking out at the fact that you’re turning to technology to find your next bae? Instead of hoping you bring someone other than your BFF home to family gatherings (don’t worry, we’ve all been there), they’d rather play a ruthless game of 20 questions about how dating apps work and why you think it’s acceptable to rely on the Internet to play Cupid. But little do parents know that you’re one of 14 million people who actually enjoy the convenience and freedom that dating apps offer. Let’s take a stand and be proud of our online dating profiles.

How many of you have been asked by your parents why you would want to go online to find a romantic connection instead of approaching an attractive person on the other side of the fitness studio or while volunteering at the local dog rescue? Yeah, us too. You’re not alone when it comes to being too dang exhausted from that demanding job and new work-out routine to go out and try to meet someone new every single weekend. Little do they know that these traditional values they swear on might not be as effective now that we have multiple potential date-night options just at the swipe of one finger. I mean come on, now we can do full online research before we accept a connection and it doesn’t get much better than that! We all have friends in our lives who are in successful relationships that began on dating apps, proving that there is hope for all of us despite Mom trying to tell you it’s embarrassing.

It’s also common for parents to assume that you’re using online dating to either find the love of your life or just one-time hook-ups, with no chance for a happy medium. While I can’t speak for everyone, many of us resort to dating apps in hopes of a good time that will blossom into a relationship down the road, which is what any parent would want for their child. As you can imagine though, Dad gets frustrated when he has to listen to you talk about the times you matched up with a person who was too serious or not serious enough. But rather than making him think you’re dwelling on the dates that didn’t have fairy-tale endings, you need to take a deep breath and remind him that you take each date as an experience to either learn or laugh from, no matter what the outcome is. Online dating does not have to be waste of time if you have the right mindset, Dad!

But regardless of the negative vibes Mom and Dad try to toss your way, there are a thousand more reasons why they should (and someday will) become more accepting of this innovative way to date. We both know we would have never met even half of these people if we hadn’t taken a leap of faith and downloaded that app. We’ve also become a society that relies so heavily on technology for anything and everything, so using it to our advantage in the name of love is only right. Dating apps also tap into something we strive for in just about every aspect in life – having more options. You never have to settle for less with online dating because there are always more fish in the sea waiting for you to reel them in.

How To Be More Attractive To Men

When it comes right down to it, we all want to know how to be more attractive to the opposite sex. Men want to be more attractive to women – and Women want to know how to be more attractive to MEN.

tips how to get boyfriend How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

Are there secrets left for being more attractive to guys?

Is there really anything left to show you about how to make men find you irresistible?

As it happens, YES!

There are a lot of things women do not understand about what makes a man desire you. Attraction may be subjective, but there are rules for making it happen.

Let me share some of my simple –


Rule #1: Don’t change to be attractive…

When I say this, what I mean is that you don’t change your essential habits or personality traits just to match some guy’s idea of you. Just imagine how he’s going to respond when you let down the act and he sees that you’ve completely misrepresented yourself and he’s married to an impostor.

By the way, this happens a lot more than you might think. A great many people change themselves to make a relationship “work.” Only to find out later that the act disintegrates.

Be yourself, as the saying goes. Everyone else is already taken.

Rule #2: Watch Out For Triggers…

There are some attraction programs you might not know about. These triggers lead you to like a certain kind of man over others.

One of which is that you probably dig cavemen.

  • What women want: As well as symmetry, the features in men that are typically attractive to females are a wide, strong jaw and jutting forehead, features corresponding to high levels of testosterone. Men with higher testosterone are more likely to have more resources and more ability to defend their families.

10 How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

Okay, maybe not CAVEMEN. But you get the idea, right? There are features that most people agree make for a physically attractive person.

AND there are behaviors that do this, too! Hang on and I’ll explain some of them.

Rule #3: Love is not Attraction (or Lust!)

We have to be careful that we don’t misinterpret the signs of POTENTIAL love as love itself.

If you’re unwilling to let someone define love for you, I’m right there with you. HOWEVER – you do have to know what is NOT love so that you don’t fight for something that isn’t yet real.

Love takes time, I think we all agree on that. How long? That’s the tricky part.

I think it’s reasonable to say that you’re probably not really in love until that love has been tested at least once. And in a big way.

And please make sure the love you feel is two-ways. A one-sided love affair is a very sad place to rest your heart.

And you deserve so much more.

Rule #4: Loose Lips!

One of the questions I ask my VIP members is “Was there ever anything you told a guy you wished you hadn’t?”

relationship red flags to look out for How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

And the number one response to that is: “Yeah – when I told him I loved him way too soon.”

This is a common regret of many women. Mostly because a guy will most always be a bit slower than you to realize his feelings. And even if he does realize them, he’s going to be slower to say it.

What’s the rush?

If it’s real, then the relationship will still be there when you’re ready to say it. Contrary to popular romantic comedy movies, no one leaves a relationship they’re in because they didn’t hear those three words in time.

Chill and keep your love in your actions for as long as you can.

Because you also want to know that when he says it, he means it.

If you tell him you love him first, you’ll always be wondering.

Okay – now let’s get into the Attraction Secrets for how to be more attractive to guys…

ATTRACTION SECRET #1: There ARE Ways To Boost A Man’s Desire For You…

Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been fascinated by how emotions work. And one area that was probably the most important to me was how LOVE and attraction worked.

I knew from experience that I found certain women attractive, and certain other women NOT attractive. I noticed the same thing when I talked to women as I studied this.

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And the most interesting part was that it was almost never about the looks of the person. Instead, it seemed to have much more to do with their BEHAVIOR.

And that put me in contact with what would become my lifelong passion! Studying the ins and outs of romantic passion.

There are ways for a woman to boost a man’s desire for her. And the brutal truth is that not many women understand what these ways are!

Now before we get into a few of them, I want to point something out first:

Influencing how a person feels about you is:

  • NOT immoral…
  • NOT unethical…
  • NOT game playing!
  • NOT wrong!

When you put makeup on, you are subtly influencing how men feel about you.

When you choose a dress that reveals a bit more, or fits a bit more tightly, you are influencing how men feel about you.

Every time you talk, you’re influencing him. So it’s all a matter of perception.

In fact, you owe it to him to influence him in the right direction …! The only ETHICAL thing to do is to use these attraction tricks for GOOD.

ATTRACTION SECRET #2: The Psychology of Love Is Reliable!

You may wonder if the factors that make us feel attraction are like rolling dice each time. It might seem that way if you found a guy attractive and then you go out on a date only to discover there’s no chemistry.

how to make him chase you How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

Ultimately, no one can COMPLETELY predict (or control) love. If you could, there’d be no challenge or fun in it!

Now, some people might say, “I’d rather have love completely predictable than have my heart broken every time, Carlos!”

Which is exactly why I teach these strategies to women. I want to give you the unfair advantage over other women out there, so you can have the man you truly desire.

These tips and tricks I show you WORK. They’re reliable, and consistent.

This is assuming:

  1. You follow my advice from the start. I can’t promise you the same results if you make a bunch of mistakes for the first month and then try to do a U-turn with your relationship. But assuming he has feelings for you, he will probably respond…
  2. YOU are consistent. If you waffle back and forth between insecurity and confident stance, he’ll feel unsafe with you…
  3. You learn the RIGHT strategies. I spent years putting these things together in a way that is not only heart-centered, it’s compassionate and effective at creating a loving connection.

ATTRACTION SECRET #3: Attraction Is Not A Choice…

Many of us never stop to consider this fact.

But it’s true. We do not CHOOSE the person we’re attracted to – or who we fall in love with. It just happens to us.

However! We can influence this process, and pace ourselves so that we are not VICTIMS of love.

Have you ever stopped to really THINK about why a certain person was attractive to you? In hindsight, there IS a reason for those feelings, if you look closely enough.

relationship compatibility myths How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

I’ll use the example of a girlfriend I had right out of high school – let’s call her “B.”

I was attracted to B. because:

  • She was cute (not gorgeous, but an average attractive girl)
  • She had a weird, somewhat dark sense of humor…
  • She liked a lot of the things I did at the time – Hard rock music, Lamborghinis, and scary movies…
  • She was easygoing and fit into my lifestyle easily…

I knew these things looking back on our relationship. But I could easily have just said that we chose each other – knowing that we really didn’t. It was attraction (combined with a teenage boy’s sex drive.

I still had to pursue B., mind you. She had been seeing some other guy and was broken up for a few months, and she resisted me quite a bit.

But in the end, I realize the relationship was possible because we both shared the attraction, and we were just enough alike to both want it.

We chose each other.

ATTRACTION SECRET #4: If You Know How Men Think – You Can Make Him Fall For You…

Here’s the other side of attraction: It can also be sparked and created.

Mind you, if that person feels NO chemistry at all, and is mostly “meh” about you, it’s an uphill battle. Quite frankly, if he isn’t capable of some passion, you probably don’t want him as a love.

BUT – if a guy is open to it, he can definitely be influenced to insane levels of desire for you based solely on your understanding of male psychology and what guys really want from a woman.

how to spot if your mans a player How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

In order to be more attractive to men, you simply need to know what he wants – and then let him realize you’ve got it.

Let me give you a quick example:

  • Most men are very motivated by challenge.

This is no secret.

But what do you DO with that understanding?

Well, knowing that a guy loves a challenge means that you know how to flirt with him subtly.

  • When he asks you questions, you’re coy…
  • You don’t answer right away…
  • You give thought to what you’re going to say…
  • And you don’t answer directly!

When you know how to challenge and keep him interested, you can have any relationship you want.

ATTRACTION SECRET #5: Men Don’t Choose The Woman They Love…

This one is an extension of #3 above.

Men don’t realize the role of choice in falling in love.

HOWEVER, many men THINK they actually are making a choice.

Here’s why:

  • When a man decides to commit to a woman, it’s because he THINKS he’s made a decision to choose her. In reality, he’s just checked ONE box in his mind: “Is she going to accept me and respect me?
  • In reality, he’s just responding to a gut feeling he got from things you said and how connected he feels to you…
  • If he gets that “feel” from you, he will assume he made the “decision” to fall in love with you and commit his heart to you…

We make a lot of these imagined choices each day.

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Think about waking up in the morning. Who decided when you would wake up? Was that your mind? Your body?

Something else?

When you pick up on a conversation and start listening in, who made that choice?

There are so many of our day-to-day decisions that are not a part of our conscious choice. So much of our lives are automatic.

Attraction and love are a part of this unconscious life. We may think we’re choosing someone, but in reality we’re a part of a very complicated web of connection and desire. Just think of all the things that influence attraction:

  • Visual cues
  • Natural triggers in the brain
  • Associations
  • Childhood templates
  • Hormones
  • Scent triggers…

The list goes on and on.

And men don’t realize how many of their decisions are on auto-pilot. I’m betting he didn’t just decide one day that he was going to like Ford Mustangs and buy one. He’s probably got childhood memories about that car. Not to mention all the movies he may have seen to reinforce that desire.

You starting to see how many factors make a guy WANT something – or someone?

As you might have guessed, this means you can influence him into wanting you as well!


Have you ever dated a guy that you really wanted to like? But… you just didn’t feel attracted to him?

Most of us have done this at some point. We see the person as meeting a bunch of check-boxes on our shopping list, but they don’t turn us on.

I once dated a woman I’ll call Mary who was a rational pick when I was dating online. I saw her profile picture and thought, hey why not. (Which is a good philosophy, by the way. Try out as many people as you can. A lot of them will surprise you.)

I was attracted to Mary, but not WOWed by her. We got into a steady relationship, and she started to really dial up the serious commitment energy in just a couple weeks.

She was sweet, but just not a good fit for me. And we eventually parted on good terms. But I also knew the reason was that I was trying to steer my heart instead of follow it.

The reality is that most of our attraction for someone comes from a completely irrational and illogical part of our brains.

Don’t fight that – instead you must know what these subconscious triggers and buttons are – and how they work.

ATTRACTION SECRET #7: Men Are Attracted To FAR MORE Than Appearance…

Many women are concerned about how appearances factor into a man feeling attracted to them.

The reality is that – of course – physical appearance is a factor. It’s going to depend on our tastes in looks, sure.

But you’d be surprised to know that you don’t have to have movie-star or supermodel looks. Not by a stretch!

Most men are intimidated by that kind of overwhelming beauty, anyway. The kind of strong man you desire is probably not really Brad Pitt, to be brutally honest. Most people favor a partner that is close to their level of appearance and attractiveness.

how to handle no contact rule in relationship How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

What’s MORE important is how well you balance that with your caring about your appearance…

  • Exercise regularly – stay fit. A fit person is never a turn-off. (Okay, except those ridiculously huge weightlifter guys…)
  • Dress sharp – and dress to suit and flatter your body style…
  • Work your hair – get a good hairstyle (with volume and sheen) and you’re good…
  • Keep your skin moisturized – this one is practically gospel. I still remember my mom putting on her “Oil of Olay” at night…
  • Get your makeup refined – most women just use a lot of it and assume it’s good. Nope! Go get a cosmetologist to cover this with you, including colors and subtlety…
  • Keep poised and balanced – if you’re not graceful, take some dance lessons. A woman’s flowing body movement is like a dream for men…

All these parts of appearance are what matters. You can’t change your looks, but you can maximize them!


One of the most powerful secrets about male-female relationships is that they work based mostly on the power of POLARITY.

Polarity means a strong masculine charge meeting a strong feminine charge.

You will see this in couples of all styles, and even orientations. In order for passion to emerge, we need the positive and the negative terminals of the battery.

The Love Current must flow!

is it real love at first sight How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

So what do you do?

You TEASE him…


Not as in “sexual” teasing. That’s what I call “toxic femininity” – misusing and manipulating men to control them.

What I’m talking about is THIS:

  • Teasing with a little coy, demure femininity is an irresistible combination – that WORKS! Don’t listen to the lame advice that tries to tell you that you should be some kind of feminista, or man-blamer. Most men (really, a significant percentage – 90%+ ) are not Harvey Weinsteins.

And also don’t fall into the belief that hundreds of thousands of years of evolution are now null and void – because of a politically distorted view of NATURAL sexual polarity.

You can find out more about the teasing principle I teach that makes men want you here…


Chemistry is something that most people assume you either HAVE – or you DON’T have.

Let me tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.

Some might define chemistry the way our good buddy Wikipedia would:

“In the context of relationships, chemistry is a simple “emotion” that two people get when they share a special connection. It is the impulse making one think “I need to see this [other] person again” – that feeling of ‘we click’.”

I’d go so far as to say that this chemistry connection creates a lot of impulses because the other person has managed to match up with our attraction template.

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When you understand how to work your understanding of men in a way that presses the attraction buttons in his head, you’ll do MUCH better than the women who just do their best to follow the strategies of articles they read in Cosmo.

Trust me – that position they tell you will ‘drive him wild in bed’? It doesn’t matter to him!

When women spend too much time on the superficial elements of appearance to stimulate attraction, they may arouse his sexual desire – but not his instinct to BOND with a woman. This is the big mistake that almost all women make. And sometimes over and over again.

And while sexual performance is definitely a plus to a lot of guys, you’re still leaving out the “can he relate to you and connect to you?” part.

When you know what creates chemistry between two people, you can start to turn up the volume on the attraction between you.

ATTRACTION SECRET #10: Love Is A Recipe…

Ah, now we’re going to finish this off with a BANG…

Love is a combination of different elements that come together in a winning way.

Now this doesn’t mean that you’re not going to run into a few “tasty relationships” that don’t work out.  But it does mean that you can understand the recipe and start to learn how to bring these ingredients into it.

Let’s go through a few:

I wish we could rush relationships to their ultimate outcome, but we can’t. There’s no fast-forward for relationships. And that’s why we need the patience to see where they go.

The more educated you are about your needs and how to get them met, the easier it gets to know when to forget one guy and move on.

Once again, if you improvised this love stuff, you’re going to find yourself floating around quite a bit.

This one is hands down the “flour” of this recipe. You need a lot of it, and it better be good.

Communication will either make him open up to you or send him running into another woman’s arms who can “get him” better. It’s a harsh statement, but it’s also one you need to hear.

Without the tools of how to talk to men, you can’t get inside his head and heart – or even begin to forge a lasting connection.

Communication also connects directly to the next one in this recipe…

There’s no avoiding this one. And you’ll probably hear me say it over and over again:

If you don’t know how to connect to a man, you’re going to be struggling to make relationships work most of the time.

Whenever I coach women, I make sure to ask them if they know how to really connect with men. About 90% of them admit that they thought they did, but now they don’t think so.

Unfortunately, most women that don’t seek out relationship coaching usually find out the same thing. They think that because they can connect with girlfriends and some men in their life, they can do it with ALL men. And they’re almost always wrong.

It’s takes much more than talking with him and sleeping with him.

(If you’ve realize that you might in this situation, please read this article…)

A little passion goes a long way. Add too much into the mix and you might end up with a volatile, crazy relationship that’s just too stormy.

Too little and you never really feel that magical power of love. You just feel a sort of “meh” feeling. And if you don’t spark your passion up early, you may never feel really bonded to him – and he might not feel bonded to you!

And yes, this also includes the sex. You gotta have the physical desire for each other or your relationship will wither.

Of course, honesty is a requirement. Honesty is born from trust, so I consider the two to go hand-in-hand.

And even a small dose of regular honesty can keep your relationship steady and connected.

It’s like having your alignment checked on your car. Keeping your wheels straight…

If you don’t keep the honesty-alignment, you take your hands off the wheel and you will eventually veer off the road.

The final essential ingredient is the big “C” – Compatibility.

But don’t think that compatibility is just liking the same things and watching the same TV shows. There’s so much more than that…

Here are just a few of the things to consider about “compatibility”:

  • Child-rearing – How will you parent together?
  • Money – What are your saving/spending attitudes?
  • Family relationships – do your families get along? With you? With her? With each other?
  • Life attitude – Do you share a similar attitude about most things in life? And do you have a way to deal with the ones that you don’t share?
  • Religion – if applicable…
  • Hobbies/pasttimes…

I’ve only shown you the tip of the iceberg here, but you get the point. Instead of rushing into a relationship to soothe your fears of being alone or isolated, you also have to consider how well this guy is going to match your needs.

Don’t let this confuse or scare you, though.

Almost all compatibility is taken care of when you know how to connect with a man the way he needs you to. It’s so rare for a woman to really understand what he’s looking for and show him you’ve got it.

When you do that, he will crawl on hands and knees to you and beg you to be his.

Do you know what he REALLY wants?

how do I know I love him How To Be More Attractive To Men   10 Secrets You Must Know

Go find out what he really wants from you here…


Online Dating – Needle in a Haystack?

No doubt about it, Internet dating has become a unique part of modern love. In fact, in New York, Internet dating has become so popular that it is now simply called ‘partner shopping’ or ‘hyper dating’.

Online personal ads were one of the first niche markets on the web at the beginning of the net revolution and statistics now predict that 50% of single people will hook up with a partner online. However, with thousands of dating websites to choose from around the world, finding the right one can be difficult.

If you’ve ever joined a general dating site you’ll know that trawling through a stream of profiles, with reams of personal information about housekeeping habits and suchlike, doesn’t mean that you will actually get along with someone. But the good news is that online dating is evolving, with recent trends showing a move towards specialist dating sites that aim to bring people with similar interests together.

Sometimes linked to lifestyles, such as dating sites for bikers, interest-based dating sites are leading the way for a new generation of people looking for love on the worldwide web. With literally millions of people using the internet as a new social arena in which to make new friends and find a partner, people are discovering that there is a much better chance of making that all important connection through a specialist site where the members have shared interests.

A recent survey by revealed that 80% of its members preferred interest-based dating sites, stating that they found it easier to make the first contact. creator Diane Ainslie understands this new trend: ‘I’ve used the internet in the past to find a date and I really liked the idea of being able to meet up with people without all the usual fuss. But I often found I didn’t have a lot in common with the people I met. As a huge music fan, I realised that meeting people who shared a passion for the same music as me was a great basis to develop new relationships. You have something to talk about straight away!’

And there’s the key. Joining a general dating site can be like visiting a strange city without a map. How do you even begin to find your way around? In choosing an interest-based site you’re starting on familiar ground. It’s easier to get talking and you’re more likely to meet someone you have something in common with. If half of all single people are using the Internet to find a partner, finding that special someone is like finding a needle in a haystack. It might just be time to jump on the latest bandwagon and find a dating site that interests you!

When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument

Have you ever had a guy stop talking to you after you get into a disagreement? What do you do when a guy ignores you after an argument?

There’s nothing more frustrating than getting the silent treatment.  You feel ignored, minimized, and very small. It also feels like you’re abandoned.

why does he ignore after we have a fight When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

I’m pretty sure each of us has experienced it at some point. You might have even given somebody else the silent treatment.  We sometimes even use this on our family.

Somehow we feel that going quiet is an appropriate punishment for the other person. Or an appropriate way to demonstrate our feelings.

But in the end it usually causes more damage than anything else.

Let’s talk about the different reasons that a guy would ignore you after you fight. And then let’s talk about what to do when he ignores you like this.

Why He Ignores You – 1: You’re right and he’s wrong

I think everyone who gets into a fight likes to assume that they are right. Inevitably we always figure out that even if we are “right,” the victory lap we take doesn’t feel very good. It feels hollow.

Like the old saying goes, would you rather be right or would you rather be happy?  When we let our egos get us into the situations, sometimes we can’t figure a way out. And sometimes we get so dug in that we can’t let go.

Ultimately, if you need to be right, you probably shouldn’t be in a relationship.

That’s pretty strong talk, huh?

But if you’ve been in any long-term relationships, especially marriage, you know that being right always comes at the cost of the goodwill in the relationship.

In the truth of the matter is it’s not really about who’s right and who’s wrong in the end. It’s really about being heard.

Yes, sometimes his ego will get in the way of admitting that you were right. And yes, he may use the silent treatment to sulk a little bit.

But give him time and he will come back around.

One thing you definitely don’t want to do is to rub it in his face. You won’t get the satisfaction you might hope from this. And why would you want to?

Why He’s Not Talking – 2:  He’s otherwise occupied

One of the more realistic reasons a man isn’t getting back to you after a fight is that the rest of his life gives him the excuse he needs to step away for a while.

21 When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

Sometimes the timing really isn’t good. Men are notorious for not talking about every little thing that’s going on in their life. Whereas women are often characterized as doing the opposite.

Meaning that it’s much more likely that he hasn’t told you about everything he’s got going on. He’s just juggling his busy-ness as best he can.

And if your conflict happened right when he was busy with a lot of other things, or just about to be, there’s a good chance he’s just preoccupied with everything else.

While you may feel this is personal, it’s not. Well, it’s mostly not.

When He Won’t Reply – 3:  He’s flooded

One of the things that will trigger a man is too much emotional conversation. Guys simply do not engage in a lot of talk about emotions. It’s not the way we are built.

Many women look at this as being a fault in men. Just as many men see women’s preoccupation with emotions as a fault in them.

The truth is somewhere in between.

But when you have a very emotional discussion, sometimes known as an argument, a guy will rapidly tire from the conflict. He doesn’t want to be angry at you, and yet the only way he can stay in the argument is to bring up negative feelings.

For a woman, it’s very likely that you will tap into sadness as the fuel for your side of the argument – along with your own anger.

dos donts how to handle argument with boyfriend When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

Keep in mind that this emotional content will flood his brain. A guy simply can’t stay in emotional conversation for as long as a woman can. And when he’s hit his ceiling, he will shut down. Just like a computer that has crashed.

The best thing you can do is to let him back off and recharge.

Unfortunately, most of the men I have talked to about the experience of arguing with their girlfriend or wife say that they often are pressed to keep going. Which is understandable, when you want to resolve this very emotional feeling that’s going on.

However you have to give men a break from the argument so that he can regroup and recharge. And that may take some time.

When a man becomes flooded and is pressed to continue talking about something emotional, you may find that his emotions become very irrational and resistant. In fact it’s almost guaranteed to happen.

Why Won’t He Talk? – 4:  He needs to reflect

Just as I mentioned in the previous reason, even if you don’t flood him he still needs to be able to think about what you just argued about. The earlier that you can give him that break, the more likely a man will take the time to reflect on what he did or said that created the situation.

And it also gives you time to reflect as well.

  • Was it just a misunderstanding?
  • Is there a better way to express it?
  • Do we really just want the same things?

The truth is that reflection is a necessary part of a relationship. And reflection quite honestly doesn’t happen while you are in the middle of the argument, or even with the person you need to reflect upon.

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You just need some time apart to figure some things out. And men do this as their standard operating procedure. Women tend to figure things out by discussing things together, men need time alone.

Give him time to reflect on things, and you’ll be surprised that he may come back with an apology first. At the very least he will come back with better understanding.

What a man needs most in the situation is your trust that he can handle things alone for a little while, and he does not need to talk about it for the moment. He also needs to be trusted that he will come back in due time.

When He Won’t Reply – 5:  He’s upset

The truth of the matter is that there’s a good chance he’s upset with you.  He may in fact be angry with you.

He might not want to hear your voice for a little bit.

If you are in this situation right now, those words you just read probably stung a little bit. But the truth of the matter is that sometimes you don’t get along. And he may need some space again to get over his feelings of hurt.

When it seems like he’s ignoring you, remember that men work their emotions out internally most of the time.

Which means he will need a lot of time to figure things out. Or maybe just a day or two.

You have to be patient and trust that he will return to you. If you sincerely doubt that he will, perhaps that’s the part about the argument that is most important. That you don’t have the trust to bring you back together for the repair.

It’s not that you need to suffer, but you do have to respect that he may need to heal in his own way.

What’s Up With The Silent Treatment? – 6: Deer In The Headlights

Another common situation for guys is when they are completely clueless about how to fix the situation. He may realize that the argument is legitimate, but he doesn’t understand or know what to do about it.

why do men ignore you after an argument When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

He might ignore you because he doesn’t know how to make it up to you.

It could just be these frozen where he is because he’s afraid he’s damned if he does and damned if he doesn’t. Men often feel like they are in a no-win situation when it comes to negotiating in relationships.

There’s  a lot of jokes about men arguing with women, and that’s for reason. And we wouldn’t find them nearly as funny if there wasn’t an element of truth to them.

He may need your help to get unstuck from where he is.

Also, a lot of men are afraid of making things worse. He’s afraid to say anything because he doesn’t know what to say, or how you might react to it. Men don’t like causing any pain to the woman they love.

If you’re harboring feelings of resentment, you have to let those go long enough to pull him back into conversation. And if you suspect that he is feeling resentment toward you, you may have to do the same. Otherwise you’re locked in a stalemate.

And we all know the saying that pride goeth before a fall. That simply means that you can hold onto your foolish sense of dignity, at the expense of a loving relationship.

Don’t throw away your love just because you weren’t willing to take the step of opening up conversation again.

Why He’s Avoiding You – 7:  Trivial Pursuit

If you really think about it, most arguments really aren’t all that important in the grand scheme of things. Very often we find ourselves fighting over things simply because we wanted to be heard, or we had an emotional slight against us, or we wanted to get defensive.

  • Looking back on your own experience of relationships, how many arguments you think you been?
  • How many of those fights were about something important?
  • How many of those fights were actually about what you were fighting about?

In the end I’m sure you’ll find that many of your conflicts didn’t actually have to happen. And I won’t even ask you to look back at all the arguments that went way out of control and got blown out of proportion.

dating tips why does he ignore me after argument When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

The fact is that most of our fights are really pretty trivial. In the grand scheme, they just don’t mean anything.

This isn’t to diminish you or the issues you may have brought up in those arguments. What I’m really saying is that it sometimes takes a small spark to create a forest fire.

We have to stop and take a look at why there was so much flammable wood lying around inside our relationship. Just waiting to erupt into flames.

Most men consider most of the things in the arguments to be pretty small. Even if they are important to you in an emotional way. He’s not trying to disrespect or ignore your needs. He’s just ignorant about what those needs actually are.

Most guys simply don’t feel the same emotions you do about the same things that you do. And it’s very important to understand this or you might mistake him for being cold and uncaring. Again, it’s ignorance.

Ignorance isn’t stupidity; it’s simply NOT knowing.

Of course your feelings are valid. Sometimes he doesn’t understand those feelings. Or why this little thing blew up the way it did.

So you might find that he pulls away because he feels like he’s stumbled into a minefield – and any step could create a huge explosion.

When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument – What Do You Do?

So now you know most of the reasons why a guy might ignore you after a fight.

But what should you do about it now? How do you get him to pay attention again and stop ignoring you?

TIP #1: Be patient with him

If there’s one thing that would help almost every relationship it’s adding a generous helping of patience.

He might take some time to warm back up to the relationship again. Just because he isn’t texting you doesn’t mean he isn’t thinking about you. In fact it probably means he is thinking about you now more than ever.

TIP #2:  Have an honest, transparent conversation with him

When you let down your guard and your need to be right, you’d be surprised how much love you can bring to the relationship. But if you’re caught in a cycle of trying to protect yourself and avoid being wrong, don’t be surprised if he’s not attracted to that.

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Any more than you would be attracted to him for being cold and distant.

TIP #3: Don’t pretend the argument didn’t happen

Whatever you do don’t pretend that you didn’t have the argument. You have to have an honest talk to make sure that there’s nothing he’s holding onto – or you’re holding onto.

There are a lot of couples that fall into a pattern of ignoring their disagreements. Mostly because they have similar introverted personalities. So sometimes talking about emotional stuff can be difficult.

Some arguments can be swept under the rug and they will just blow away eventually. But they usually have to be pretty small. And you have to have a very strong, trusting relationship already.

Be careful about pretending that you didn’t just have an argument that has strong emotional currents in it. When hurts go unaddressed, they can become malignant to your relationship.

But also keep in mind that you don’t need to apologize for something you didn’t do. That’s never required.

You can – and probably should – apologize for any hurt or hurtful words that may have been exchanged. Don’t hold out on this. There’s no trophy for the one who is the last to share their love with their partner.

TIP #4: Own up to your part of the argument

Sometimes pride will stop you from doing the right thing which is to admit your part in the fight.

relationship advice why men ignore you after a fight When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

But you’d be surprised just how much it opens his heart to hear you admit your fault in the argument.

You don’t want to get into the toxic cycle of blame that often destroys relationships.

If you can apologize for your part, do it – as I mentioned in #3. And you may be surprised by how fast he will let down his shields and own up to his part.

If he doesn’t, then don’t start another argument. Instead, ask yourself why he’s feeling the way he is. It may come down to him being immature and unable to handle the responsibility of a loving relationship.

But it’s up to you to kick things off by being the mature steward of the relationship.

TIP #5:  Get back to romance

When you run into an emotional obstacle like an argument, the first thing to do is to make sure you handle the argument. And the next thing to do is to pick up where you left off by getting romantic again.

Sometimes having an argument can leave a residue of negativity. Our emotions are a little stunned.

The best thing you can do is to compensate by swinging back over into romantic mode.

  • Get back out there and have a few dates…
  • Buy each other a gift…
  • Celebrate your feelings for each other…

As the saying goes quality time is the most important in a loving relationship.

TIP #6: Make it up to him

If the argument was partly your fault, it couldn’t hurt to make a little extra effort for him.

Maybe cook him something that he really enjoys.  Give him a little neck rub.

Or make him a sandwich…

I’m just saying it couldn’t hurt to throw some goodwill in the bank account, right?

(Please, I know that this is going to activate a bunch of people because I didn’t say anything about him making it up to you. Please keep in mind that this article was written for women on a women’s site. There are no men reading it. Wait, there might be men reading it. If you’re a man, please make it up to her.)

TIP #7:  Remember that you can do both

I’m always shocked to find out how many people find it difficult to manage both anger and love in the same emotional space.

What I mean by this is, when someone is mad at another person they often find it difficult to still keep love in their heart for them. As a culture, we tend to be very binary with our emotions. Off/on.

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Just remember that you are capable of holding two emotions in you at the same time.

And I really believe that one of the emotions you hold should always be love.

TIP #8:  Reach out and restart your romance…

A really good way to break the ice is to simply send him a quick text to let him know how you feel. It can be as simple as:

“Hey you… I hope we can talk soon and put all this behind us… just wanted to let you know I’m thinking about you…”

Something as simple as that can do wonders for inspiring goodwill within the relationship.

Don’t hesitate to reach out, but also be careful about needing a response. He may need more time. And you have to still be patient.

Most often, the problem that starts to really create more problems is when we communicate with an unspoken agenda.

Very often women will send a text to a guy in the hopes of getting a text back from him. It’s okay to think about when he will reach out to you again.  The truth is, though, that you can’t predict when he will. Don’t set yourself up for failure by having expectations that can’t necessarily be met right away.

Don’t worry, he will respond. But if you don’t get a response back, and then proceed to ramp up your emotional state over it, it’s not really his fault. So only reach out when you can do so without needing an immediate response from him.

TIP #9:  Now let’s fix the problem…

The last step is really pretty simple. Go back to the situation that created the argument and fix it.

You may have to wait until emotions are cooled off before you do it, but it’s the essential step that many people forget to do.

what to do when he ignores you after argument When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

Be proactive not passive. Don’t wait for things to get better on their own.

Waiting and hoping put you in a place where you have no control. And that’s where uncertainty and depression can jump in to make things even worse.

  • You time a conversation poorly? That should be easy to fix.
  • You guys have a heated discussion without setting some ground rules? Again, easy to fix.

Whatever the problem may be, there’s an easy solution for it:

Learn more about how men work.

This is something that most women want, but very few ever really do.

I really mean it when I say that men are very simple to understand. All it takes is a willingness to believe that he doesn’t have to think like you do to make your relationship an incredible romance.

And it’s also very easy to understand guys if you have the right information.

Most magazines will never teach you the really important stuff.

Why? Because they’re in the business of selling you the next magazine.

I’m here to show you exactly how men work because my mission is to give you what you need to succeed with men. And that simply is the Truth.

When you’re armed with the truth you can overcome any obstacle in a relationship.

What’s the Truth, you ask?

cupid effect When A Guy Ignores You After An Argument   What To Do!

The truth is you can get any man to commit to you and work through any communication problems. All you have to do is understand how the Cupid Effect works.


Tips for Herpes Dating

Are you among one of every sixth person in the United States aged 14 to 49 years who are suffering from genital herpes? Has this disease affected your relations? Are you surrounded with fears? Are you stressful or hopeless about your future?

These are general concerns of every herpes man or woman in the society. These people feel that they cannot date or get into relationships with people or cannot have sex in their life. However, as time has passed, the Internet has intervened and become an intermediary between people dealing with herpes. This has led to herpes people chat with others like them and share their feelings, disclose their conditions and learn more about the disease. The more exposure these people with similar conditions get to each other, the more chance they get to find a partner for their relationship. These websites provide counseling, support and guidance in their life.

Now, as a person with herpes, how do you tell someone (not with the disease) about the disease? It is always better to let another person get to know you first, then take time building a trustful relationship until you feel that it is the right time to let others know about your disease. However, you should let the partner know that it is common and not all herpes are severe; most of them are very minor and their transmission can be controlled with care and precautions. You need to remain calm and be prepared for all the reactions, but stay positive to persuade the person.

Furthermore, if you are accessing online dating sites for people with herpes, then you can avoid all these questions, because both the parties are on the same plane. Next, you can join the community and groups and make friends to break the isolation and fear wall you have created around yourself. You can share exciting stories, upload pictures and participate in getting together and parties with people. You can date people on the website without the fear of rejection due to the disease.

Since, both the sides know about the disease and the precautionary measures to lead a normal life, they will have less obstacles in their journey and dating relationship. You can discuss the problems, share your experiences and enjoy jokes without the fear of being taunted or anxiety of counting as a dirty or infected person.

It is not necessary that you confine yourself in an online relationship, step out and face the world and tell them you can enjoy life just like any other person in America. You can be an ideal for others and make a difference in their life. You can promote these relationships, create awareness among the masses and build a strong support group. You can even consult specialists regarding precautionary measures and publicize it so that everyone knows to what extent the disease is contagious or dangerous.

Thus, if you are born with a disease doesn’t mean you have to sideline your social life. All you need is to find the best solution which not only accompanies you to live a normal life, but also give emotional and physical support in the public sphere. And online dating websites are the foundation stones to connect herpes people and give them peace of mind.

When You Find The One

What do you do when you find The One? After all, you don’t want to risk losing him. And you sure don’t want to miss your chance…

what is true love When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

Forever love…

Even if you don’t really believe in just one person for you, this article will help you understand how to keep this special person in your relationship. Because we all realize that some people are easier to stay with than others. And we know it’ll just be easier for us to stay with them in the long run.

Many people panic when they meet somebody that could be a soulmate to them.

Very often we feel that love is scarce. And even more scarce is finding the person you are meant to be with.

You want to make sure that you don’t lose your head when your magical soulmate relationship (The One) finally shows up for you!

One of the first things you want to do is make sure you’re seeing the signs correctly. After all, you want to make sure that this guy really is The One for you.

I’m going to cover the signs you’ve met the one first. And then I’ll tell you a little bit more about what to do after you find the one.

Some things you’ll figure out on your own just by tuning into your instincts.

But of course it’s always a little bit difficult to trust our gut for relationships. So I will be giving you specifics about what to look for as well.

Hopefully this will give you the insurance you need to keep your relationship strong and not lose him!

Sign # 1: Everything falls into place with him…

One of the best indicators that you’ve met the man that’s meant to be with you  is that you notice all of your usual obstacles seem to disappear. This guy seems to be on the same page with you.

What were once difficult parts of a relationship for you, are now no longer so difficult.

You don’t fight about the same things,  if you fight at all. Those little deal breakers that you ran into with other guys don’t come up. And if they do they are nowhere near as difficult to overcome.

It’s a lot like when you do a puzzle and all the blanks just start filling in for you. It almost seems effortless.

Sign # 2: It’s so easy to just be you…

One of the trickiest things in a relationship is knowing how much of yourself to show your partner. Early on in the relationship, we often hide so much about ourselves for fear of being rejected.

In fact it’s so easy just to keep hiding those things later on. Especially if you want the relationship to work out and end up in marriage.

05 When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

The cool thing about a soulmate relationship with The One is that you can just be you.

  • you can say the things you’re thinking about and it doesn’t faze him…
  • you can go a day without makeup and it doesn’t bother him…
  • you can show him your flaws and it won’t freak him out…

It’s so important to be able to be authentic with someone in a relationship. And it’s very likely that your soulmate is wondering this about you too. If you’re both genuine, then it’s much more likely you’re going to work to keep this together.

Sign # 3: You can also let him see the dings…

When you find The One, not only can you just be yourself, but you can also let him see the dings, dents, and scratches in you. You’re not advertising your flaws, but you’re also not needing to hide them to make sure he won’t leave you.

One of the best ways to be authentic with a person is to let them see your flaws.

In fact, this will also let you work through arguments and disagreements much faster. You won’t be protecting yourself as much as the relationship itself.

You’ll always be working towards the same common goal. And when we see the other person as a normal human being, we lose the intimidation factor – and we start to gain the admiration of our partner.

Sign # 4: They’ve got your back…

It’s absolutely imperative that you feel like your partner is there for you – that they are pulling for you. And when you find someone in a relationship that does this without you having to constantly ask them or wonder, everything seems to flow so much better.

It’s like you’re both paddling downstream in the same canoe. Both in the same boat, and you both know you want to stay afloat.

Sign # 5: Things are so much calmer

Inevitably when you’re in a relationship that is shaky, you feel a constant sense of anxiety. You’re always wondering when it’s going to dissolve or erupt.

signals men give when ready for serious relationships When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

The cool thing about a relationship with your soulmate is everything is calm. There’s a sense of ease about the relationship.

Be sure to pay attention to the overall atmosphere of your relationship. Generally this tells you exactly where you’re sitting right now. Most relationships have a certain amount of anxiety and shadiness about them.

A relationship where you’re with The One feels steady and less uncertain. You may not even be able to figure out why. It just is.

 Sign # 6: He’s just not resisting you…

Let’s face it: one of the most difficult parts of relationships with men is how much they seem to resist commitment.

When you find a guy that things seem to flow easily with,  you’ll immediately recognize he’s just not fighting it.

  • He’s eager to have you meet his family…
  • he wants you to meet his friends…
  • he calls you back without a lot of fuss…
  • he texts you back regularly…
  • he’s just so much more present…

And again this also leads to you feeling much more relaxed and comfortable in the relationship.

Just recognize that you may even wonder why you aren’t having the usual problems with him. Let that thought come and go, don’t let it sabotage the positive momentum of your relationship.

Sign # 7: You have a certain positive mojo…

One of the things I notice about good relationships is how well each person treats the other in the relationship. The typical negativity harbored by people with childhood issues just doesn’t come up as much.

This is one of the important reasons have to have your own stable mindset before you go hunting for your soulmate.

12 When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

The first thing that comes up in any relationship is where your insecurities meets his insecurities. This is what causes the conflict and strife within the relationship.

When you got that positive mojo, you have goodwill towards each other.

You do things for each other just because you care about each other.

And you maintain a positive attitude of respect at all times. There’s no name-calling, bickering, underhanded sneaky behavior.

Sign # 8: He’s a relationship guy…

You have to pay attention to the types of guys you’re dating, too.  You can usually pick up the vibe of a guy who is into relationships.

He’s going to have a focus that is obviously more leaning towards a girlfriend than a hookup. And that’s exactly what you want to see.

If he’s the other kind of guy, of course he’s going to have a very lackadaisical attitude towards your relationship.

  • He won’t call as much…
  • He won’t text as much…
  • He will focus on the physical side of the relationship…
  • He won’t want to have interesting conversations as much as going out and doing things…

Pay attention to his vibe. You’ll probably pick up right away whether or not he’s a relationship guy or hookup guy.

Okay there are a few more signs of finding your soulmate obviously. And I’ve written about these more extensively in older articles which you can find here…

What I want to get to right now are the strategies you need to have in place to keep The One when you find him.

Soulmate Strategy # 1: Assume the best…

This goes hand-in-hand with the positive mojo in a lot of ways.

signs that man is falling in love with you When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

When you’re in a relationship with someone who genuinely cares about you, and you understand this deep in your heart, you don’t think they’re always trying to hurt you.

Quite the opposite actually. You know that they are always looking out for you. They care about you, and they’re always taking care of your best interests.

So one of the best things you can do for your relationship is to assume the best from them – not the worst!  And be on the lookout for when anxiety or worry puts you in a mode of worrying about your relationship.

You want to avoid sabotaging the positive vibe you’ve got.

Soulmate Strategy # 2: Don’t go overboard…

It’s tempting to start Facebook posting every meal you eat with him, pictures everywhere you go with him, and everything you do. But you have to relax that and don’t get too invested too quickly.

Be careful about:

  • posting too much on Facebook…
  • talking about your relationship too much with your friends in a glowing way…
  • putting too many photos up on Instagram…
  • texting him every hour…

These things can put an undue strain on your relationship. Sometimes this can be overwhelming for a man in the first stages of falling in love.

This is a delicate time. You have to treat your new soulmate relationship as if it’s delicate.

Because it is.

Over sharing is often a sign of insecurity. And I’m sure you probably seen this pattern in other couples and other relationships.

Soulmate Strategy # 3: Balance your outlook…

When you find somebody that matches you well, and is compatible with you, there’s a temptation to go all-in.  Resist the urge and keep your viewpoint balanced.

A recent coaching client of mine came to me about her relationship…

16 When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

We discussed an incident between her and her boyfriend, which wasn’t that big a deal. And she finished her email to me saying that she was in no rush. The relationship was new, and she was taking her time.

And that’s how I knew she’d be okay.

She had a very balanced outlook about her new relationship. It was very promising, but she wasn’t going to stress it by putting all of her expectations on it.

One of the things I used to do that was a big mistake you should also avoid is this: I used to have my female best friend meet my newest love interest as soon as possible. This wasn’t cool because it was usually too soon, and my friend was also probably intimidating for my new girlfriend – being a woman.

So be careful how soon you start pulling him into all areas of your life.

Soulmates Strategy # 4: Balance the bedroom…

Another place you have to be careful is in the bedroom. When you first start sleeping with someone, the temptation is to get as much of it as you possibly can. And if you’ve had a long gap in dating before meeting this person, it’s even more tempting.

(Hey, who doesn’t want lots of sexytime?)

Make sure you’re getting enough outside time as well as in the bedroom time. You have to make sure that the compatibility in conversation, connection, and hobbies is there for you both. BEFORE you get really stuck on each other and realize it’s not a good match.

Make sure you are doing at least one activity along with any sleepovers. You don’t have to cut off sex completely, by no means. Just make sure that you are balancing your time so that you get complete perspective on the guy you are dating.

If he’s your soulmate, then he’s going to want to go along with this and spend this quality time as well.

Soulmate strategy # 5: Start a journal…

One thing I advise every single one of my the coaching and phone coaching clients to do is that they absolutely must start journaling. This isn’t usually an issue as most women typically enjoy journaling.

signs you have found the one soulmate When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

There are many reasons for writing in a journal:

  • You can write down your observations as they happen…
  • If you notice things that are really positive, you can take note of them and even tell him about them later…
  • If there are red flags you can also take note of them and reflect on…
  • By getting your thoughts out onto the paper in a written form, you’re also getting them out of your head – which means you don’t have to ruminate on them all the time, too…

Journaling just gives you a perspective that you can’t have when you’ve got lots of emotional thoughts floating around in your head. You have to pin them down.

At some point, it will be great for you both to look back on what you wrote. You’ll have a bunch of insights into the relationship and into yourself as a person.

Soulmate strategy # 6:  Everything is respected…

Even the best relationships don’t have everything in common. Meaning that every relationship has areas where they are not compatible.

The key is in how those things are handled. Is he respecting those differences between you?

And do you respect his differences as well?

It’s quite frequent that a man feels disrespected because a woman decides she wants to change something about him that she doesn’t like. And that feels not only disrespectful, but he feels hurt and rejected.

Be aware of where you may not be accepting him completely.

In order for a man to feel safe with you, he must feel accepted by you.

Soulmate strategy # 7: Find your own language…

One thing we do when we have a unique relationship is that we find a way to communicate. And we even find our own shorthand ways of communicating emotions and the difficult topics.

how do I know that boyfriend wants more serious relationship When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

You must have a strategy for handling the uncomfortable parts of your relationship. There will be moments of tension and stress that you have to be able to work out.

As soon as you can, you should start to work on finding the ways to handle these difficult subjects with him.

One great strategy is to have code words for certain things that trigger you both.

For example, when he brings up a topic that you don’t want to discuss in that moment, what should you say?

You might have a special code word like: “Can we rock that boat later?”

That can be your special way of saying “Let’s wait” that won’t raise the tension. And it lets him know that you can talk about it later. Just not now.

BONUS Soulmate Strategy: Set aside time for a check-in…

In almost every single successful relationship that I have coached, counseled, or helped in some way, the couple knew how to check in with each other.

One of the best ways you can do this is to set aside a time during the week to reflect and discuss what happened in your lives – as well as between you both.

Some of the things you can talk about are:

  • Times you felt irritated…
  • Times you felt unheard or that your point was missed…
  • Where you felt challenged by the relationship…
  • Where you wanted something from your partner but didn’t get it…

Now of course you don’t want to just talk about the negative stuff. Make sure you also include:

  • When you felt most loved
  • When you felt heard
  • When you felt the strength of the relationship…
  • When your partner met your needs without you having to ask…

So it becomes a place for you to not only check in on each other’s lives and where you are, but also how the relationship is doing.

Think of it as a quick checkup. Only this kind of checkup keeps your relationship strong and healthy.

20 When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your Soulmate

You might think that it sounds a bit goofy, or even new agey.  But this is one of the key conversation and communication skills that all of the best relationships have! Just because it’s new or different doesn’t mean it is not something you could learn to use.

And if your partner resists, be mindful of that and take your time. Even if you don’t formally introduce this meeting time each week, you can do it informally in your conversations – Just by asking questions.

The most important way that you can make sure that your soulmate won’t be missed or lost is knowing how to make that special kind of connection with a man.

There’s nothing worse than having a really great man in your life, and being constantly anxious that you’re going to lose him or mess up the relationship.

  • Do you know how to really establish a solid connection with a man?
  • Do you know how to make him feel as if he has come “home” when he’s in your arms?

You want your man to find refuge in your relationship.

Not in video games or addictions – or worse, another woman.

That’s why it’s so critical that you know what his connection code is. Every man has a different code, but when you know them you can have almost any man wrapped around your finger.

There are only six of them!

And you can learn about them – CLICK HERE

how do I know Im in love with him When You Find The One   Secret Signs Youve Found Your SoulmateLearn His Connection Code…!


Senior Dating Considerations to Think About

It is never too old to fall in love with someone. Sometimes it gets lonely when you are in your fifties and alone with no one to talk to, look after you, and help you with your tasks. You decide to date someone or see somebody special who may be for you. While there is nothing wrong in going out for a date, you should not compromise on your safety.

When you are single, you must see to that people don’t take advantage of your age. When you have come out from a long term relationship, dating again might be a hard thing. You might think that you are too old for a relationship again. Though the times have changed and few rules also have changed, but feelings are still the same.

You have many ways to meet with special people and find out that right person for you. You would want to sit back and relax and see what love can do for you again. But, your number one priority should be your safety. You need to know few methods that can make your senior dating both safe and special.

Never travel alone

Though you would love to have a one on one chat with your date, it would be best to avoid traveling alone. Supposing you know the place of meeting very well, then it is fine. That is because when you fall into trouble, you can find a way out. But, when you have to travel some distance, it is always better to take someone with you.

It could be a family member or an old friend. You would also want to meet in places where there are lots of people. You don’t know what may happen and it is always better to be on the safe side. Of course you don’t want to let this spoil your mood to have some fun. Once your date is over, you need to be sure about your way home.

Safe online dating

You got so many methods to hook up with someone on the internet. There are online senior singles websites that provide you with ample opportunities to meet people. You always feel safe, when you know the person before you meet them. However, as it is on the internet, you actually don’t know whether the person you are chatting with exists.

Their have been many cases of impersonations and frauds taking place on the internet, which you should beware of. Before registering on the senior singles website, make sure that it is safe and also check the person’s background. This way you remain safe while dating online.

Limit your details

Sometimes you might get carried away when you meet a new person. There is nothing wrong in that, you were single for long and you are excited about this. However, there is no need to reveal much about you before getting to know the person better. If they ask about your address or bank account details, your answer is no.

Since you now know few senior dating safety tips, you can go out and enjoy.