Playing Hard To Get – 7 Secrets You Never Learned…

Let’s start right off by saying that there is a big difference between playing hard to get and being hard to get.

Most women play at it but don’t understand how to really BE the prize.  Because that’s what it’s really all about: You have to make yourself the prize to your man for him to chase you, pursue you, and desire you.

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And of course you don’t want to play games with him.

But prepare to be surprised. “Hard to get” does NOT mean you’re being manipulative!

We’re going to take a close look at the strategy of playing hard to get.  I will show you secrets that you never learned, and why playing hard to get is the most important thing you can do to make an honest and committed relationship work.

First of all let’s talk about PLAYING hard to get versus BEING hard to get…

When you play hard to get, you’re playing games with a guy. Yes, you are playing head games and that’s why you feel guilty and weird when you do it.

Being hard to get is what most women are playing at. Every woman wants to be hard for him to win.

The problem is when you make yourself too darn easy! And let’s face it, most women make it too darn easy.

I’m going to tell you what the reason is for that in a bit…

  • Playing hard to get is faking it and living from a scarcity mindset…

What is a scarcity mindset?

Scarcity is the belief that everything in your life is hard to get already. All the stuff you really want is scarce.

It’s like the constant feeling of starvation. You’re always hungry because you can never be satisfied. You never get what you want.

And at the very least you definitely don’t believe you can get what you want.  It somehow feels unattainable, just outside of your grasp.

When you play hard to get, it feels weird because most women are faking the attitude. They don’t really believe they have the value to BE hard to get.

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She won’t allow herself to be truly scarce for fear of losing him…!

  • BEING hard to get, on the other hand, is being authentic.

What is authentic?

It’s when you’re acting from you. From your essential personality instead of from manipulative games.

So when you are actually hard to reach on the phone, hard to schedule for a date, hard to find time to get together with, you are genuinely authentically hard to get.

Why do we play “hard to get?”

Typically people play hard to get for one of two reasons:

  1. Increase attraction – make someone want us more…
  2. To test the other person – see how interested they really are…

And these strategies are typically done because the other person was viewed as a prize – a real catch.

In most studies, it’s been shown that women use hard to get strategies much more often than men. Frankly, most guys don’t go “scarce” intentionally. I’ll tell you why shortly…

The goal of playing hard to get is this: Making him value YOU as a rare precious gift in his life.

Most women are doing the exact opposite. I’ll explain how in a moment…

What are some of the things people do to play “hard to get?”

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Here’s a short list of some of the strategies that people use to manipulate their availability:

  • Acting confidently – trying to appear like a valuable commodity…
  • Flirting but then stopping; giving attention but then disappearing – i.e., running hot and cold…
  • Limiting self-disclosure –  holding back information to stay a mystery…
  • Talking to other people, flirting, and even dating other people…
  • Making accidental physical contact, but holding back physical affection…
  • Withholding sex…
  • Teasing, playing games…
  • Offering challenge – Making others work to get them and chase them…
  • Acting busy, staying busy, and lowering the other person’s priority…
  • Acting as if not attracted, sometimes disinterested…
  • Taking a long time to respond to calls and texts, or not responding at all…

To sum it up, the general strategies of “hard to get” are:

  • Having limited availability…
  • Sounding busy…
  • Being hard to reach…
  • Seeking attention but then ignoring it…
  • Showing initial interest, and then switching to disinterest…

Now all of these tactics do work. If they’re done naturally –  meaning that they happened because the circumstances of your life make them true –  then it’s considered okay.

(I would draw the line on those last two general strategies. I don’t think you should use those two on purpose EXCEPT in ONE situation. I’ll reveal that later in this article.)

But if these things are done on purpose, they are seen as being manipulative and game playing.

And it’s unlikely they will work.

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Still, I always felt like this was unfair. I mean, who says whether it’s manipulation or reality?

If I don’t have time for a date on Thursday, that’s considered natural. But if I say I don’t have the time and I do, that’s considered a game.

In fact, one of the best ways to become a naturally challenging person who has real romantic value is to adopt these habits first to understand what that attitude is like.

But if your first and primary reason for acting this way is to play games with another person, then that is obviously wrong.

Here’s Why “hard to get” Works…

Human beings are conditioned to desire things that we can’t have. Mostly because for most of our existence everything we want has been hard to get.

  • It was hard to find food…
  • It was hard to find shelter…
  • It was hard to stay alive at all…

If we found a bunch of berries growing wild, we grabbed as many as we could and ate as many as we could because we didn’t know when we would see them again.

And we’re still like this today.

When we see something that feels rare, we want it. We pursue it. And sometimes we’ll do anything to get it.

Just take for example diamonds. Diamonds are perceived to be fairly scarce. And so their value is through the roof. (The truth is that diamonds are actually fairly common, but they are controlled so that we think they are hard to find.)

We will also do almost anything when it comes to love and finding a mate.

So don’t be down on yourself if you tend to jump into relationships. Most people feel like love is scarce too.

Sometimes it’s hard to pretend you don’t want somebody that you feel this strongly about. For most people love is the one thing they want more than anything else in the world.

The reason “hard to get” works is because when we are falling in love we want nothing more than to know the other person loves us back. And if they show some hesitation or doubt, that throws us into a tailspin. We lose our minds and we lose control of our actions.

Here’s Why “hard to get” Fails –  The Big Mistakes…

Most of the people who try to play hard to get make one of three big mistakes:

  • MISTAKE: She plays too hard to get…

Some women don’t really understand the balance that’s necessary to play hard to get effectively. You can’t completely disappear or he won’t be interested.

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A lot of women try to play hard to get without any heart and lose the guy. And then they never want to do it again, choosing instead to be way too available. They chicken out.

If you don’t know how to play hard to get, you run the risk of not being available enough for him.

Interestingly, this is not the mistake most women make!

The women that play too hard to get are usually just getting off on the fun of manipulation and making a guy dance like a puppet on strings. She doesn’t understand the heartfelt place of wanting this man to value her more.

  • MISTAKE: She fakes it way too hard

What I mean by this is, since she doesn’t know how to be hard to get in a genuine way, she winds up faking it in weird ways  that he senses and knows aren’t true.

She makes up stories and lies that don’t feel genuine. She plays with him and plays with his heart.

If you’re being too fake with this strategy, then it does come across as being manipulative to men.

  •  MISTAKE: She’s not really all that hard to get…

This is the one mistake that most women are guilty of doing.

Here’s what happens:

She wants to be hard to get, but she really doesn’t feel confident in herself. As a result, when push comes to shove, she gives in way too easily.

For example, Susie wants to make sure her new boyfriend understands her value.

She also knows that if she’s too easy for him to get, he will not value her. He’ll see her as common.

  • So one night on the phone, Susie says she won’t be available on Friday for a date.
  • Her guy asks about Saturday. She says she’s not sure, but to check back.
  • Near the end of the phone call,  her man sounds a little bit distant.
  • She doesn’t realize that it’s because he’s worried about not being able to see her. She misinterprets it as him being mad at her.
  • Susie loses her nerve. She tells him that she can see him on Friday after all.

What she’s done is she has taken all the delightful doubt and tension out of the relationship.  All because she was so afraid of disapproval.

Her insecurity completely ruined the effectiveness of hard to get.

And the real killer is that she will probably never try again for fear of pushing him away. Not realizing that men are everywhere, Susie just feels like men are scarce because she doesn’t have the skills to make the relationship grow.

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Remember on the TV show “Friends?” Rachel and Ross were such a big deal because we always wondered whether or not they would ever get together.

If they had just gotten together right away, do you think the show would’ve had the same level of popularity?

Probably not. All the romantic tension would’ve been drained out.

You want your relationship to have some of that same tension.

I’ll explain how you do that in the tips ahead…

Should you play hard to get?

Yes, absolutely you should!

However you need to know the rules for this. I’m going to give you 7 very specific tips to help you make it work.

And remember that you should definitely use “hard to get” on a man who has lost his appreciation for you. If you don’t, you will probably lose him.

You absolutely will not win him back with niceness.

Do Men Play Hard To Get Too?

I’m often asked about men who play games with women. They feel this way because the man’s actions are somewhat disinterested.

The fact is that men do not play hard to get. Men are just naturally aloof. They come across as distant because they don’t have the same level of importance on a relationship that women often do.

He’s okay with it not working out.

She’s scared to death of it. And as a result she undermines her value by being way too easy and just about every single way.

This is the most common power dynamic in relationships. It’s called the anxious/ aloof cycle.

The man naturally adopts a more distant stance, and the woman keeps trying to pull him back. Which reinforces to the man that he is in control of the relationship as long as he stays emotionally distant.

And  this tug-of-war between them defines their relationship. And almost every relationship from here on out.

So let’s talk about how to make “hard to get” work the right way.

Tip #1:  Be hard to get not hard to want

It goes without saying that if you’re too distant, or you make yourself too hard to be attained, the man will see this as being frustrating, not challenging.

He wants a challenge, not an impossible situation.

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Remember that most men’s self-esteem is about where yours is. After a while of struggling to get you into his life, he will just assume that you are too difficult and he will open himself up to other women who are easier.

Which will be his loss because those easier women will not challenge him enough and he will grow tired of them. But it’s too late for you, you were a casualty of his laziness.

Remember that ‘hard to get’ really means “don’t be so easy.”

You don’t want to push him away with an attitude that says you’re not interested.

Tip #2: Balance it out…

Part of this dynamic is that you both should be showing interest in each other. It’s like a pendulum that swings back and forth.

If he’s going to show interest in you, then at some point you will have to balance it out by showing interest in him. Both of you should be putting in an effort to win the other one over.

But that effort doesn’t have to always be 24 hours a day/7 days a week.

In fact, the best relationships are like one of those fans that swings back and forth. Sometimes you will put in the effort, sometimes he will. And sometimes you both will at the same time.

Even when you’re not both putting in an effort, you should both WANT to put in the effort.

Tip #3:  Get a little bit old-fashioned…

When it comes right down to it, the couples that wait the longest to jump in bed are the ones that are ultimately more satisfied with each other.

And those couples that sleep together quickly, tend to break up just as quickly.

It’s for the simplest reason of all, and it’s one that we can all understand:

  • Imagine if  every player in every sport got the championship trophy and championship ring at the start of the season. How much work you think they would put in for the rest of the season?

Silly question right?

But the reality is that the reward doesn’t come up front.

  • We work hardest for that which we have yet to receive…
  • Your employer does not pay you for two weeks in advance. They know that you will work hardest for money you haven’t been paid….
  • The dinner that we wait longest for tastes the best…

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The reason more people give in then hold out is because they have not made a commitment to the long run. They’re in such a hurry to get the goods that they sacrifice paying the price.

(It’s also the simple reason why you don’t eat dessert first, no matter how many cute images you put up on Instagram that say this!)

Never give away the one most valuable part of your relationship: Men work hardest to get you into bed!

It’s the most important motivational factor there is in a relationship. And yet women every day give it up so easily.

If you’re afraid he’s going to leave you because you didn’t sleep with him quickly enough, then maybe you should consider if you really want a guy that would leave you THAT easily.

If he knows the sex will happen eventually, a man is more than happy to put in the effort and stick with it.

All wonderful things are even more wonderful if you’ve had to wait for them – or paid a small price for them.

Tip #4:  Hire slow – fire fast…

This was one of the bits of advice someone gave me that has stuck with me for over 20 years.

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It was the idea that you should take a long time before you hire a person for a job. And you should be very quick to get rid of people who are wrong for it.

Waiting to hire the right person always pays off in a better employee. And firing quickly means that you can find that right employee faster.

The same thing applies to dating and relationships.

You should take a long time before you let that guy into your life. You probably have already had enough experiences to know that most men are not going to be a good fit for you.

And if you find a guy that isn’t working out, get rid of them quick. This way both of you can find the person that is right even sooner.

Don’t let it drag out to months or years… Or maybe never.  The faster you move on, the faster you find The One. Don’t waste your time on mediocre candidates.

It’s always tempting to jump into a relationship fast. But let my caution slow you down.

If it’s right, rushing it won’t help…

Tip #5:  Don’t lose your head…

I believe it’s okay to be intentional with these strategies to play hard to get with someone… IF you don’t go a little power-mad when it works on your man.

When you get some results with it, will you be happy with that?

Or will you keep playing with him to get more results the next time?

You will be tempted!

Every once in a while, make yourself scarce.

  • Cancel a date…
  • Wait a few hours to return a call…
  • Go quiet on a date if you like…

But don’t do it to manipulate the other person. Instead, do it to feel your own personal power and ability to not need his approval.

Men like bitches – NOT because they’re ill tempered and nasty;  men are manipulated into attraction for Bitches because they are naturally hard to get.  But eventually every guy gets tired of her nonsense.

Which is why you have to play it cooler. Don’t lose your head!

Tip #6:  Know Your Reasons…

This tip goes hand-in-hand with number five. If you know WHY you’re using hard to get strategies, you can stop yourself from going too far.

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And knowing the reasons why you’re using them will ease your conscience that you’re doing something wrong.

Again, if you’re doing it to help you two get together, then it’s absolutely FINE to make yourself a bit scarce from time to time.

Don’t ignore his attention, or run hot-and-cold just to mess with him. Those two strategies are not very ethical or heart centered.

However, making yourself scarce to hang out with your friends, your family, or just to spend some time alone is perfectly acceptable. And it sends the right message to him – that you have healthy boundaries about your time.

If you know that you’ve been too nice in the relationship and he’s starting to lose interest, then you should absolutely use these hard to get strategies on him. AND I would even recommend ignoring his attention for a while. In that situation you’d be completely justified!

Tip #7:  Every So Often, Step In The Trap…

The key to an effective hard to get strategy is that every so often you must let him catch you.  You balance out your ‘hard-to-get’ by letting him reach you occasionally.

One of the best ways to do this is to shift into rapport with him.

Rapport is simply creating a strong emotional connection.

And the best way to do that with a man is by listening to him!

Simply give him your complete attention every so often. This will draw him in even closer than if you rewarded him with sex.

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SHOCKING TRUTH: Most men do not experience deep, connecting communication with women!

If you  reward him every so often by giving him that kind of attention, you will get him to fall in love with you. It’s been proven in scientific studies that this is all you need to do.

Also remember that playing hard to get won’t help you if he already isn’t interested in you at least a little bit. He has to have at least some curiosity or attraction for you for any of these “hard to get” scarcity tactics to really work.

If someone isn’t attracted to you, or doesn’t really feel chemistry for you, no matter how hard it is for you to accept, don’t get fixated on him.

However, if you suspect there is a little bit of attraction, there are lots of other strategies that work just as well, and they don’t compromise your integrity.

If you’re a “nice girl,” you probably run into a lot of guys that take advantage of this. Which means you must understand how to use hard to get more than other women.

It’s also very likely that because you’re so nice it will be harder for you to try these strategies.

In the end, you have to make a man feel irresistible desire for you. All relationships start with a huge spark of desire.

If you’re going to be happy with him in a relationship or in a marriage you must kick things off with desire!

The good news is that this can be created by any woman if she understands male psychology. If you know how men think, and what a man wants in a woman, you’ll have no problem getting him addicted to you.

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The good news is that I just put the finishing touches on a program to teach you exactly how to create irresistible desire in him.

Click here for more on the power of irresistible desire to make a man feel compulsive attraction for you…


Why Singles Try Speed Dating

Having a partner in life is important to allow you to experience a better lifestyle. However, there are some occasions wherein individuals cannot find partners due to numerous issues. This is why, more and more individuals are trying speed dating events.

Speed dating is as a matchmaking process of dating systems whose purpose is to encourage individuals to meet new people. Below are some of the reasons why individuals opt for such dating solution.

To meet others in a timely manner

One of the main reasons why individuals try speed dating is to meet others in a timely manner. There are cases when individuals do not have much time in searching for a partner due to obligations at work and at home. Fortunately, by opting for speed dating, individuals can meet new people easily and immediately since most speed date events only last for several minutes. During your meetup individuals can determine if they will pursue for the person or not.

To experience dates in different venues

The next reason why individuals try speed dating is to experience dates in different venues. Surely, organizing a date can be a hard task since you need to look for romantic venues. Luckily, speed dating organizers can provide you with numerous venues for your dates which can make your first meetup memorable.

To reduce expenses in dating

Apart from different venues, organizers of such date events can also help reduce expenses. Surely, when dating, you need to look for the best locations. And, you also need to make sure that you can obtain the best foods and drinks. Apparently, some individuals do not want to spend substantial finances in organizing a date with a stranger. By opting for dating systems, individuals can reduce their expenses easily and properly without compromising their date.

To avoid rejection

This type of dating solutions can also help avoid the feeling of rejection. There are instances when dates can turn into a nightmare most especially if you are rejected. Thankfully, this can be immediately avoided since you can look for other dates from a huge list from reliable dating systems and providers.

To improve social life

Finally, this dating can also help improve your social life. Some individuals opt for such events in order to look and meet new friends. And, this is one of the most ideal place to meet new friends which will allow them to increase their social experience.

These are only some of the reason why individuals now opt for speed date solution from reliable providers.

Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know…

Dating a divorced man? Before you get too far in the relationship, there are things you must know.

Divorced dating is challenging, there’s no doubt about that. But if you have the right information, you can date a guy after divorce and make it work.

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What are the dos and don’ts for dating after divorce?

Dating today is definitely different than it used to be. There are so many more challenges. And the one thing you don’t want to be is his next divorce.

You may be wondering:

  • Is he ready for another relationship?
  • Why did he get divorced before?
  • Is he damaged goods?
  • How do I know if he will make a commitment again?

And if you take into consideration that divorce rates are only climbing, and only one out of two  marriages stays together, you need to be very sure you know what you’re getting into when you date a divorced guy.

As matter of fact it doesn’t matter if this guy was married or just in a long-term relationship.  These tips apply to any relationship where you want to be smart and make it work.

Let’s just jump right in with –

Tip #1: Know how deep the pool is…!

Would you ever jump into a swimming pool without knowing how deep the water is?

Then you definitely would never jump into a relationship where you didn’t know what was going on with him and why it ended.

You owe it to yourself to find out what his history is. If you don’t know what you’re getting into, you are very likely to step on a landmine at some point.

Every man has history. And the more you know about it, the better off you are.

Think about it:

  • Would you buy a car without at least finding out what the reviews said?
  • Would you buy a house without having an inspector check it out?

Of course not.

Knowing everything you can about him is absolutely essential if you want to make the relationship work.

One thing you should not do is try to learn everything about him on the first couple dates. Take your time and collect your data.

On date number one and date number two, you should focus on listening in between the lines with him. Don’t let your fantasies start to pull you into dreaming about your wedding dress quite yet.

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That might sound a little bit funny, but you’d be surprised how many women make a decision about a man based on initial chemistry. (And men do the exact same thing…)

As the relationship progresses, you should know about why he got divorced. You should also ask him one very important question:

“What do you think the biggest thing that caused your marriage to fail was?”

And then listen very carefully to what he says next. Take mental note of where he places the blame.

If he blames both him and her, that’s an excellent sign. It means he knows he had a part in it.

Red flag: if he says that it was all her fault, that’s a man you should probably run away from.

Don’t forget to share a little bit of your history too.  If you were married before, let him know about your relationship. And especially let him know what you learned from it.

And let him know what your standards are now.

Tip #2:  Divorced Dating – Be a smart turtle…

A smart turtle knows that slow and steady wins the race.

Keep in mind the man who has come out of a divorce takes much longer to get over the loss of his marriage.  Divorce hits a man much harder than it does a woman.

I know this may feel oddly contrary, but it’s true. Men do not have the same emotional resiliency to bounce back that women do.

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Give him the space and time to heal from divorce…

Men who get divorced are depressed more often, and very often commit suicide much more frequently as well. It’s not a pretty picture, but it’s true.

“Men were more vulnerable to the adverse effects of divorce, including larger health declines and lower subjective well-being after separation, higher risk of adopting bad health habits, elevated mortality, disproportionate declines in satisfaction with family life, higher dissatisfaction with custodial arrangements, and greater feelings of loneliness and social isolation…”

Now that you understand this, you may also understand why men are very cautious after a divorce or separation. In order for him to think about a new relationship, he has to feel safe in your relationship.

Which means you need to go the extra mile to make him feel safe with you.  You’re going to have to take a lot of extra time with this guy.

He’s going to be gun shy about jumping right into a commitment for sure. Which means you need to also be patient and understand that it may take him quite a while before he’s ready for something long term.

In fact, it’s most likely that he just wants to have fun. (You should be playing Cyndi Lauper right about now…)

If you expect anything different than this, think back and see if you can remember a time when he said he was ready for a relationship and a big commitment. I’m betting he never did.

Tip #3:  Watch out for EX talk…

One of the signs you have to watch out for is how much this guy talks about his ex-wife –  or his ex- girlfriend.

Some people just talk about their ex a little too much after the breakup. This usually means that there is a lot of baggage for their old flame.

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If this guy is talking about his ex a lot, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s positive or negative, then this is a warning sign to you. He probably needs more time to heal.

You should especially pay attention to the emotions that come up for him when he does talk about his ex. If there’s a lot of anger, or if he seems to go off into his own headspace as he talks, let this guy go and let him put some other woman through hell. You don’t deserve it!

Tip #4:  Dating a Divorced Man –  Time Limits…

If he’s been divorced for less than six months, don’t go near him. Unless their marriage was breaking down for the last few years, there’s no way this guy is ready to date again. And he definitely doesn’t want to jump into another commitment – even if he says he does.

And even then, he probably still needs time alone to get over being alone. There’s no substitute for taking time to yourself to get over a relationship that went bad.

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Know when to walk away…

The same is true for you: You generally need about one month alone for every year you are in a long-term relationship. And if you are married, you probably should double that.

Most people are simply too raw and not ready right out of a failed marriage. No matter how much you want it to happen, more than likely you will end up getting crushed. Heartbroken.

You may think “But it’s different for us!” –  And I know it is not.

Trust me when I tell you that the headspace he is in is a place you do not want to be. Also, it will probably take him twice as long as it would take a woman to get over the same situation.

So now you can see that a guy who is been married for, say, 10 years probably needs the better part of a year or more just to get his feet back on the ground.  He’s not going to be ready for you. No matter how much loving and nurturing you give him.

As the saying goes, three women can’t make a baby in three months. Some things must take their time.

Tip #5:  The raw and the ugly…

You may find yourself in the variety of situations with a divorced guy. You want to watch out for the red flags as you date him:

  • RED FLAG CHECK:  Cheating

Be sure to find out if there was cheating in the previous relationship. And especially who did it.

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Red flags to look out for…

I hope I don’t have to explain why you need to know if he cheated on her.

Newsflash: You are interviewing for her old job!

And if she cheated on him, you need to be especially careful because now he’s going to have a lot of trust issues. And that also means jealousy issues.

  • RED FLAG CHECK: The King Of His World

The truth is that the first year after any divorce for a guy is filled with self-exploration. He’s going to be wanting to do all the things he couldn’t do when he was in his marriage.

And you can double down on that if she was a nag or a nasty woman. (We know those are out there, don’t we?)

Keep in mind that he will need to go out and have some fun before he’s ready for making you a priority.

  • RED FLAG CHECK: Watch out for the rebound

Men who get out of the divorce are usually not looking to jump right into having sex with just one person again. Especially if they associated their last marriage with oppression instead of monogamy.

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Men’s emotions often get tied up in their physical relationships in a weird way. He may think he’s in love with you, but what he really needs is validation.

That means he may only be boinking you. No matter what he says to the contrary.

Rebounds are painful if you don’t see it coming. Or if you thought things were different than they actually are.

Don’t get blindsided. Watch his behavior to see how healthy he looks. Because what you think is a relationship could just be sex to him.

Tip #6:  Dating a Divorced Man – And now the positive…

I would be just as negligent if I didn’t tell you that there are a ton of positive reasons to date a divorced man.

Here are just a few:

If he is looking to get into a new relationship, chances are he probably learned quite a bit in his marriage. He learned the importance of communication. He learned the importance of connection.

where to find love in the modern dating world Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know...

Build healthy lasting connection and intimacy…

And if he’s willing to start again and do this again, that means his heart is in it. This guy obviously must want a lasting relationship.

  • He did it once, he’ll do it again

The fact is that if he made a commitment like this before, chances are he knows and understands what it means to commit. And that means he’s a committer, not a runner.

When a guy wants a long-term relationship (and MOST men do!) then he’s going to eventually want to settle down again. It’s best for you if you’re there when he finally decides to commit.

According to the National Survey for Family Growth (NSFG), the chances that a first marriage transitions from separation to divorce is 53% within one year for women ages 15-44. The chance separation leads to divorce is 86% within five years.

The good side of this statistic is that only 10% of second marriages will go from separation to divorce.

Yes – there is hope if we can just learn from our mistakes.

By the way, if you want to hold out for a guy who has never been married before just so you can be his one and only, you’re dreaming. You may be holding out for the rest of your life given that – as you get older – most guys are likely to have that kind of background. You know, previously married with kids.

Oh wait!  I still need to tell you about the kids…

Tip #7: Are You Ready To Be Mom…? Again?

It is very likely that a guy who is divorced is also going to have children from the previous woman. So make sure that you are ready to be an instant mom.

I hope that scared you enough to help you put on the brakes.

dos donts saving marriage from divorce 1 Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know...

Pro or Con? Divorced with kids…

Yes, the fact is that even if you have had your own children, this guy may have had his own. Which means you now have two different sets of kids to deal with.

Which for some people can be both good and bad.

Now of course this doesn’t mean that you might not want to have more children if you’re young enough. If you’re older, you may decide that you are finished with the baby-making.

But the reality is that you may inherit more kids. So you want to consider this before dating a divorced man who might have more family for you.

If he is a little bit older, he may have teenagers. ( I’m waiting a second to let that really soak in for effect…)

So you do have to deal with the possibility that you might be the evil stepmother. And you may have a few hurdles in front of you if you’d like to connect with his kids.

Any way you look at it, this can be a challenge that you have to be aware of.

If I’ve made it sound like dating a divorce guy is very risky, that’s because it absolutely is. And it’s just as deadly dating a divorced woman.

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In our rush to feel attractive and desirable again, inevitably we race into a new relationship way too fast. Most guys who are right out of a marriage, right out of a divorce, need time to sow their wild oats.

No matter what he says to the contrary, you have to believe that he is not ready for a long-term relationship quite yet.

And you must treat him that way. You can continue to date, and after a while he will come around.

But he’s not ready to marry you no matter what you might think.

In order for him to marry you –  or even to commit to a relationship with you – he needs one more thing:

BONUS Tip For Dating A Divorcé: Do What SHE Couldn’t Do!

What most women never realize is how to connect with a man in a meaningful way. This usually leads to the relationship slowly disintegrating over time. Both sexually and emotionally as well.

best dating relationship advice for women Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know...

Be the woman he feels safe with…

In fact it’s very likely that the reason that this man got divorced was because his wife couldn’t really make a connection with him. She may have even blamed that on him, too.

The most important skill for a woman is understanding how to make a connection with a man.

Men are notoriously difficult to read.  You may also find a real challenge in reaching his emotions. Not because they don’t exist,  but because most men don’t broadcast them.

If you’re used to communicating with other women more than men, this can be a challenge for you.

The good news is that this skill is easy to acquire. There are secret “hacks” that make him reach out to you and talk to you about his feelings.

You simply have to know how to read his signals. If you’ve ever talked with a man and wondered what he was thinking, you know what I mean.

You may have even asked him what he was thinking – which is usually a mistake. And I’ll bet you didn’t really find out what you were hoping to discover…

The fact is that men do give off very clear signals as to how he’s thinking and feeling about you. And if you don’t know how to read his signals, he will feel disconnected from you.

signs he is hiding his feelings for me Dating A Divorced Man? 7 Tips You MUST Know...

Is he hard to “read”?

If you want to learn more about how to know what he’s thinking – CLICK HERE to see the special report…

Cougar Dating: Back To Basics

Are you looking for some great ways of hooking up with a hot cougar? There is no doubt that it might sound a bit too difficult in the start. You might think where you should be going to locate these hot cougars to go out with and just how you can go about re-connecting with them. Don’t worry at all, as we are here to give you some tips that will help you get started.

Take It Easy

First of all, you shouldn’t worry as it’s easier than you think. All you need is a small amount of time and a good deal of determination and you will be good.

Cougar Dating Sites

You may sign up on a dating web site for free, do some research to see if it’s for you and then set up your user profile, with a hope that hot cougars can just track you down.

Nightclubs And Bars

If you are more of a confident and sociable person, you may wish to take a look at some specific pubs, or clubs. Cougars have a tendency to be really confident as far as flirting and hunting down their victims is concerned, so they will usually go to bars and night clubs in search of a good partner. They are hopeful that they will find hot younger men there. So why should not you be one of them?

Get Ready

Once you have found a cougar and taken your relationship to the next level, you should get ready before you venture out. Put on smart clothing, even a suit or something slightly more informal based on where you’re going for the evening. Sprinkle on a good aftershave and allow your self-confidence to exhibit itself. This can also work for you even if you don’t have a cougar yet. If you hang around in the right places, it won’t be well before a hot cougar gets near you.

It’s About Just Making Love

Falling for a hot cougar isn’t simply about sex and most definitely not for having kids. It’s about a personal space that a hot cougar provides with a younger man, who’s in a romantic relationship. They’re not very controlling regarding their companions. They are not like younger ladies who irritate their friends a lot if they find them with another woman. A favorite place to find these hot cougars is with a totally free of charge online dating site. It’s easy, fun and exhilarating.

Qualities Of A Good Cougar Dating Site

What makes a dating site a good one is that their managers pride themselves on helping you get to know the person behind the profile. And although they love to try to convince you that they are the best dating internet site claiming that their chemistry test matching is the best in the business and will find you the perfect match, the good thing about such sites is that they keep things interesting.

So, with the tips given in this article, you can find a good cougar and spend some quality time with her. All you need is some time and good manners.

Dating An Older Man – 17 Secrets You Should Know

If you’re thinking of dating an older man, you probably want to know what to expect.

There are a lot of things you need to know in order to date older men. Both positive things – and some challenges you should be aware of.

relationship advice dating an older man Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

You may have a lot of questions, such as:

  • What is dating an older man like?
  • Is it ethical to date an older man?
  • Is it okay to date someone 10 years older?
  • How old is too old?

If you’re in your 30s, 40s, 50s –  you need to know how to handle the age difference, no matter how big or small it is.

And if you seen Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas, you know that it can not only work but look fantastic. As it does with Jay-Z and Beyonce, or Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively… And many others.

First of all –


Make sure you understand why you’re choosing this guy in the first place.  It’s always important to ask yourself why the person you’re attracted to is so attractive to you.

What you might find is that there is a trigger being pulled. An emotional one.

Very often spontaneous romance happens because your weak spot matches something about him. When it’s an age difference of more than a few years, make sure you’re not projecting on him.

Yes, there is the old cliché of the ” daddy’s girl”  and all of the psychological issues that brings with it. But it’s a cliché for a reason.

Many women who get involved with older men are looking to connect with something they feel they are missing. As long as you understand why you made the choice, you can go in with your eyes wide open.

REALITY CHECK-IN: Are there others…?

When you date an older man, there’s a very distinct possibility that he’s been married before. And maybe even has children with another woman.

You’re going to have to know for yourself whether or not you want to become an instant mom.  And you have to be aware of all the complications of a relationship with another family.

His first obligation will obviously be to his children. You’ll also have to make some kind of relationship with the ex-wife if things go the distance. And you have to understand your priority in that mix.

REALITY CHECK-IN: There’s also the money…

Keep in mind that your financial pictures might be distinctly different. One of the most likely places that you will argue is over money.

And yes money can also break up your relationship.

05 Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

Many women do marry for the benefits of extra financial security. If you really do feel an emotional connection and love with him, there’s nothing wrong with money as a side benefit.

Just be aware that you may have to have some serious discussions around your contribution possibly not matching his. And even if he says that’s not an issue, he does have to approve of your spending and money habits.

On the other hand, if you’re the wealthy one, you need to watch out that his intentions are pure as well.

Now, here are a few things you definitely need to know in order to date an older man…

Tip #1: The cool part is, you are always HER…

Have you ever seen a couple where he is the distinguished older guy, and she is the younger woman on his arm?

Let’s be perfectly honest here- I’m sure you said some pretty catty things about it. And let’s be extra honest and admit you were probably a little bit jealous.

The cool part about dating an older man is that you are always going to look young for his age. And that does wonders for your vanity as well as your feelings about how you look.

It’s a great side benefit of being the ‘younger woman.’  Live it up!

Tip #2: Beware making him feel like a fossil…

To be sure, one of the things you don’t want to do is make this guy feel older than he already is.  Some women make the mistake of trying to make him look older so that she seems younger.

This won’t go over very well for him. What he wants to feel is more virile, not like your grandpa.

dating an older man how to build connection Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

The best thing you can do is to point out all of his traits that make him seem:

  •  established
  •  wise
  •  capable
  •  virile
  •  desirable

Hey, if he landed you then he must be doing something right, right?

Tip #3: Give him time to work his magic…

If he’s older than 40, then chances are he’s going to be pacing himself in the bedroom. So you’re going to want to pace yourself as well.

He’s not going to rush to the finish line. And the more you can help him make it last, the better.

Ultimately, this is probably one of the reasons you chose an older man in the first place.

Tip #4:  Don’t widen the gap…

One mistake that many women make when they date an older man is they tend to overwork the fact that they are younger. Which means they may dress a bit inappropriately.

Or even act inappropriately.

16 Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

You don’t want to increase the distance between you and him even more by playing it too young.

It’s most likely that he’s dating you because he wants you at whatever age you are. Remember that it can also be embarrassing for an older man to date a younger woman who doesn’t act her age.

He still needs you to demonstrate your maturity above all else. Never forget that.

Tip #5:  Treat the differences with respect…

Here’s a perfect example of this tip in action:

Let’s say you’re talking about your favorite comedy television shows from when you’re a kid. You might want to refer to shows he can relate to first.

For example, if he is a 1970s kid, he probably watched “The Brady Bunch.” If you want to connect with him better, bring up that show. And then later on you can talk about your 1980s shows like “Saved by the bell.”

Tip #6:  It’s not the gap, it’s the bridge…

Some women worry about how old is TOO old.

dating older men secrets you should know Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

The truth is, it really doesn’t matter as long as you both get along and can relate to each other on a deeper level. As I like to say, it’s not the size of the canyon –  it’s the strength of the bridge.

As long as you remember that the connection is still the most important thing that he’s looking for, you’ll do fine.

Tip #7: Let him be your white knight…

An older man is going to be much more concerned about chivalry and playing the masculine part.  It’s something he will age into.  It’s a natural process for guys who get a little older.

So you have to be willing to let him do more things for you. Let him open the door, pull out your chair, and let him do those little things that make him feel like he’s the man.

It’s a great side benefit and one that you should indulge in.

Tip #8: Mind the gap…

Of course an age difference is much more pronounced when you’re in your 20s then when you’re in your 40s. Since I typically advise women in their late 30s and up, of course I’m actually talking about the age where the difference isn’t that much of a difference.

dos donts of dating older men Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

Let’s face it, if you’re in your 20s and dating a man in his 40s, most people are going to scream “daddy issues!” even if that’s your taste. The fact is that you only have 20-ish years of life experience, and he has about twice as much.

And those are big differences when you’re that age.

But when you’re older, he can be older and it really doesn’t make that much of a difference. As long as – as they say –  you’re both young at heart. In terms of life experience, you are probably both fairly equal.

And let’s be perfectly honest, there’s a reason for it being more acceptable when the woman is younger than the man – which I’ll explain in the next tip:

Tip #9:  It’s more acceptable if it’s HIM…

One of the most common double standards is older man/younger woman. It also happens to be one of the more acceptable combinations for most people.

The reason is because an older man implies more resources, more wisdom, more willingness to commit. He’s sown his wild oats. He doesn’t need to be a wild Playboy.

20 Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

This is almost always been true in the past. The age difference between the man and woman was usually necessary so that both were at the same maturity level.

Studies have shown that the average difference in ages when you’re in your 20s is about 2 to 3 years. When you’re in your 40s, that age difference is usually around seven years or more.

It does have its roots in science. Again, older men = more ability to provide for his wife.

Tip #10:  Accept your relationship – and him…

Don’t let other people’s prejudices affect your acceptance of him or the relationship.  Once you made a decision to have a relationship with an age difference, you must accept all that comes with it.

relationship tips advice dating an older man Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

If you know that you have a solid connection with him,  and your relationship is good, don’t let other people’s opinions or prejudices impact your feelings.

In our age of the Internet and social media culture, it’s common to see shaming and other bullying tactics online used as a way for other people to make themselves feel important.

Make a personal declaration to declare your relationship bulletproof from the opinions of others. It’s probably the single best thing you can do to weather the storms.

Tip #11:  He knows…

One of the top reasons you would want to date an older man is because of his being more clear about what he wants in a relationship. Let’s be real here –  younger guys just want to have fun for as long as it lasts. Older guys are ready for more. They’ve outgrown that.

Chances are he knows exactly what he wants in a relationship with you. And that will feel like a fresh breath of air.

He’s probably ready to communicate more, and pay more attention to your needs. Mostly because he doesn’t need to attend to his own as much.

Tip #12:  And if he doesn’t know…

And on the other hand, if you meet a guy who is still stuck in his younger “party wild” years, you know you have to avoid that relationship right away.

Something else that can help you is noticing how much this guy actually does know about what he wants.

dating older men relationship advice you need to know Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

If this older guy is still a bit clueless about your relationship and his needs as well as yours, you should be quicker to cut him loose. Chances are he’s not getting any better the longer you keep him.

As you date older men, you should notice more immediately if he has matured well – like a fine wine – or he’s turned into vinegar. Being able to spot his maturity level will make it much easier for you to see if he’s The One for you.

Tip #13:  Set your sights on similar experience…

In reality, the best compatibility between two people is when they share similar experiences of life.

  • Sometimes this is in childhood…
  • Sometimes it’s having a common ethnic background…
  • Sometimes it’s having similar political beliefs…

But ultimately the glue that holds you together will be the experiences you share.

Which means if he is retired and doing his own thing, and you are still in the workforce, you may have some challenges ahead.

If you grew up in a particular religious structure that you hold to even now, and he does not, it will create a divide between you. You need some common experience threads to strengthen the relationship connection you share.

And connected to this is…

Tip #14:  Having a similar horizon…

This just means you both share common direction in life. The same goals, hopes, and dreams. You have to have similar visions of what you want your future to be together.

how to build connection intimacy dating older man Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

You might not be planning your wedding quite yet, but you should still have an eye out for things that will get in the way of a longer relationship. And you have to start looking at this right at the very start.

It may seem a little bit unromantic, but if you really do want a long-term relationship, you have to be looking at the big picture. And if it doesn’t match up with your goals, then you have to be willing to end it to move on to find the right one.

And this may be tricky if you’re in your 30s and he’s in his late 40s and the topic of children comes up. The truth is you do have a clock, and he doesn’t.

So be sure you know what you want from him and the relationship before you find yourself committed too far.

Tip #15:  Watch out for the P word…

There’s an even trickier part to relationships with an older guy that comes up more as a conflict later in life. And that is politics.

The fact is that a man in his 30s, 40s, 50s is going to have a fairly set political stance – if he has one at all.  You have to acknowledge that you may be dealing with a guy who might believe “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”

Watch out for your need to change him to match your idea of the relationship also. A man in his 20s might be a little more flexible, but ultimately there isn’t any man that wants to be changed by the woman in his life.

We want to be supported and accepted for who we are more than anything else.  The same way you would want that from him.

Tip #16:  Older guys have more time…

The fact is as a man ages, he doesn’t need as much time to himself anymore. He may  still be working on his kingdom, but he won’t have to give as much time to other extracurricular activities.

tips for dating older men Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

Such as going over his buddies house for late-night video game festivals.

Or going out to his buddies wild house party…

If he has any maturity, he has already outgrown some of these younger guy hobbies.

Which means he should have more time for you now that he is more settled into himself.

When a man is younger, he needs to attend to his sense of exploration and adventure. But when he’s older, that should fade a bit. Leaving more room for you and your relationship.

But this can also work in the opposite direction too.  There are many older men that are in the prime of their empire building.

He may be committed to an executive lifestyle. Or a business he is growing. Or a new business he is starting.

I have coached many women who –  for whatever reason –  get involved with a man who doesn’t really have the time for them, and then spends every waking moment trying to desperately squeeze more from him.

As the saying goes, you can’t squeeze blood from a stone. If he hasn’t got it to give then you may have to accept what time you do have with him.

As always, make sure you know how much you really need from him before you get involved. Because it’s always much more difficult to walk away once you’ve gotten involved.

Tip #17:  Ultimately, it’s not about the number…

In the end what it comes down to is a pure and abiding love for each other and who you are. The number attached to that really doesn’t make a difference.

It really is just a number. When the two people can find common ground and love regardless of that number, then it becomes about the relationship. Not the mathematics of dating an older man.

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In reality, a good relationship probably won’t even make you aware of the age difference. It might only come up in defending it to your mom, or to others who don’t understand.

Keep your focus on the fact that you two are simply human beings. If the age difference doesn’t come up in your mind or his frequently, then just experience your relationship. Forget about the numbers, when the rest takes care of itself.

But wait… I have one more thing for you to think about –

Do you know how to build that bridge…?

Earlier I mentioned that you need to be able to build a bridge of connection across whatever age gap you might have.

The reality is that most women don’t know how to do this right. They don’t know how to make a real connection with a man.

Many women assume that they have good communication ability from their friendships with other women. But the reality is that connecting to a man is a very different kind of communication.

  • Do you know how to forge a bond with a man so that he will be loyal to you and your relationship?
  • Do you know how to open his heart so that he lets you in?
  • Do you know what signals he wants to see from you in order to fall in love with you?

Here’s a secret: Most women do not know how to do these!

Some women think they know how to connect with men, at least for the first few dates. But what they don’t realize is that he’s looking for a secret signal to move forward with you.

If he doesn’t see it, he will lose interest. And he may even ghost you.

how do I find love dating in modern world Dating An Older Man   17 Secrets You Should Know

To discover what the signals are that he’s looking for, go read this article now…

How to Choose a Bisexual Dating Site

Are you bisexual? Do you want to find the right dating partner for you? If yes, make a try online. This article will help you righteously. The matter of fact is that the mainstream heterosexual society has started accepting bisexuality as a common form of relationship. In spite of having debates and sharp controversies, it has been considered as an authentic sexual orientation.

By the grace of it, many couples and singles across the globe are now enjoying their bisexual relationships. A vast majority of them has chosen their partners from the bisexual dating sites. Now they are very happy, as the dating sites have helped them overcome the obstacles. Moreover, they have received the partners of their choices.

The introduction of bisexual dating sites ensures many benefits than the casual dating sites. Here, you can find many people having the common area of interest. It is nothing but a bisexual orientation. Consequently, you have wider possibilities for getting the right partner.

Bisexual dating sites help you maintain privacy. Moreover, these dedicated sites let you interact with the people looking for the same type of erotic pleasure. Many repeatable dating sites allow you to secure your private data and information. You can have a chance of meeting your desired people in one go and save your time and energies. To indulge in dark fantasies and libidinal desires in your preferred ways, you just need to have a computer and a strong internet connection.

However, one thing you must remember that each time you must find a reputable bisexual dating site to avoid unnecessary harassments and fruitless meetings. Defiantly the question comes, “How to do this?”

Given below are the tips:

Whether the website is a secured one

Just look at the website URL (link) to be sure whether it is including an SSL certificate. A website including SSL certificate starts with “https”. Now, have a look at the pages like privacy policy, service agreement, terms of use, etc.

Make sure the website includes multiple features and functionalities

Check the website critically and register your name if you find it perfect. Make sure it includes the options like video calling, online dating and chatting in a private chat room. If you cannot decide these from the outside, you can create a free account. Start with a free account and then move to a premium account if everything seems to you good, secure and transparent.

Read the reviews posted by the users

This is the very imprint and a valid point to check. Make sure your chosen dating site has received very good reviews from its users. To do so, you just need to Google the website name and write reviews (after giving a plus sign between these two). You will be able to see all. Thus, you can take a very good decision on the authenticity and credibility of the website.

I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him!

Have you ever been in a situation where you can’t stop thinking about him? You wake up in the morning, and there he is – on your mind first thing.

  • You’re thinking about him on the way to work or school…
  • You’re thinking about him every time you see something that reminds you of him…

Infatuation is a 24/7 job it seems. It doesn’t even matter if you are together or not. In fact, it would be fantastic if you were, but being apart is driving you crazy. You might not even really know much about this guy. Which makes it all that much more crazy in your head thinking about him.

You can be any age, any place in your life, and a guy can just knock you on your butt. I know married couples that each have a crush going on – AND their relationship is great! So what gives?

“I Can’t Stop Thinking About Him!”

  • Why can’t you stop thinking about him?
  • Why is this relationship so challenging?

And what’s it going to take to get your life back under control? Your first step should be to ask yourself what it is that you find so attractive about this guy. Why is he in your thoughts so much?

Is it a chemistry thing? Or is it something else that keeps you thinking about him?

The best thing you can do is to whip out that pencil and your journal and work out what it is that you find so irresistible about him.

goin gaga I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

It’s fun having your head in the clouds, but make sure some part of you is still down to earth…

The second thing to do is look at yourself and how you view your status next to this guy in the relationship. If you believe for a moment that he is better than you, or you don’t measure up in some way – guess again.

Keep things in perspective when it comes to your situation. You probably feel inferior in some ways, and even intimidated… But don’t!

As the saying goes, no matter how gorgeous and fantastic you think he is – someone is tired of his crap. Keep him in perspective.

And as it happens, there’s a reason why this guy is on your mind so much. It comes down to some physical – and psychological – science.

Let’s dig right in with the 3 reasons you can’t stop thinking about him…

He’s on your mind and in your thoughts – Reason 1: Your brain has been reprogrammed

There’s a part of your brain called the “Reticular Activating System.” (RAS for short.) It’s a small bundle of nerves that is basically the traffic cop of your brain. You ever buy a car and then suddenly see that car everywhere? Could be shoes, or a purse instead of that car, but the effect is the same.

Your thinking is being hijacked…

What happened?

Your brain got reprogrammed – your RAS, basically. You told your mind what was important to you, and now it’s pointing it out in your environment. Your RAS is also connected to a phenomenon called the Baeder-Meinhof syndrome – also called the “frequency illusion.”

Hang with me on this – because it’s not all that science-y.

Baader-Meinhof is the phenomenon where one happens upon some obscure piece of information– often an unfamiliar word or name– and soon afterwards encounters the same subject again, often repeatedly.

love radar I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

This is your brain on that love high…

It might even seem like coincidence – or even some kind of cosmic signal about your relationship.

But you know what? It’s not. It’s just your brain bending your reality and thinking. Again.

It happens more than we think, and you have to be on the lookout. And that’s one of the big reasons a guy will stick in your thoughts like a catchy song from the 1980s…

So watch out that you don’t fall for the trickery of the mind…

Reason 2: Your hormones are on FIRE…!

Well, not literally on fire or anything. But your brain is dumping chemical after chemical into your system, and it’s making you more suggestible and on edge. Your relationship is founded on these hormones “programming” you.

Here’s a short list of the chemicals at work:

  • Adrenaline
  • Dopamine
  • Serotonin
  • Oxytocin
  • Vasopressin

You have a virtual cocktail of hormones raging through your brain when you get infatuated in your relationship, and it creates a whole new reality where you can’t stop thinking about the memories of the other person.

love goggles I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

Those love goggles will do a number on your thinking if you’re not careful…

Can’t get him out of your head? – Reason 3: Suppression makes it worse…

So by now you’re probably wondering how you wound up so obsessed with this guy, right? Well, for you to understand how it works, let’s do a quick experiment in thinking:

For the next 5 seconds, close your eyes and do NOT think about a purple unicorn… Don’t think about it, and don’t let the image into your mind.

Okay, now if you’re like most people, you couldn’t help yourself. You saw that purple unicorn whether you wanted to or not.

09 I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

Trying to suppress a thought just makes things worse. (people with OCD have a bit of trouble with this test) Telling yourself to stop thinking about him is only going to reinforce the fact that you keep thinking about him! It’s enough to drive you crazy, isn’t it?

Darned if you do and darned if you don’t. Trying to suppress such thoughts can even lead that person to appear in your dreams. It’s called the rebound effect.

The key to overcoming this – if that’s something you want to do – is to REDIRECT your thinking, not try to stop it.

Instead of indulging and ruminating about him endlessly, you need to steer those thoughts toward something else – something less glowing and romantic. For example: Focus on the natural emotional evolution you go through with your relationships.

Infatuation always leads to what? Eventually, love.

Then what? A warm comfortable place. Usually. And then?


purple unicorn I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

There’s no fighting it when you’re thinking it…

Reality sets in and you realize that no matter what you thought going in, there’s a long time relationship you need to work on here. And his flaws will always come out eventually, which is both a bit of a buzz-kill and a blessed relief. I

f you were to live your life in infatuation, you’d go right out of your mind.

So stay grounded – and stay real. Don’t go thinking into the future, either! No indulging in fantasies of marriage or happily-ever-after. Stay out of that zone for your own good.

Far better to stay grounded in reality. Your neural circuits – your RAS, and your subconscious mind – will be primed to think about your love interest, simply from being awash in these love chemicals.

So always remember that your mind is working to reinforce this love interest in your thoughts. And every time you think about him, you’re going to make this guy your overwhelming focus.

The cycle will keep going all on its own. And, ultimately, you gotta ask yourself – why don’t you just go for it? Why not ask him out and let the chips fall where they may?

Okay – I’ll tell you what to do next to get the ball rolling –

Step 1) First, figure out where you’re feeling an “emptiness” in your life right now.

This is where you feel unfulfilled, and it’s also very likely why you’ve got a crush on this guy.

If it’s just a hole in your heart, then figure out if he’s really a good fit for you, or just a case of overwhelming chemistry.

daydreaming I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

Beware of getting lost in your own head – not all mental appetites are healthy…

Step 2) Be careful you don’t start OVER valuing him too soon.

He’s just a guy, and if you start chasing him in your mind before you’ve even gotten a date, you’ll be in the worst position to get him to fall for you. Make sure you keep an eye out for red flags and other behavioral signs that suggest he might not be the best match for you.

(Some of these signs include: treating service staff horribly, flipping out over the smallest things, and so on.  You can also check out a more detailed list of warning signs by clicking here.)

Step 3) Get out there and meet some OTHER guys.

The last thing you want to do is leave yourself completely vulnerable to this guy, only to be crushed if he doesn’t return the interest in you. Make sure you’ve got your own social and romantic calendar balanced with other possibilities.

There are many reasons why, and I reveal you more in The Connection Code. You gotta get out from under this spell he’s got you in, eventually.

So, it’s either give up on him (don’t, unless you think he’s bad news), move in on him (if he’s unaware, this is an option), or get on his radar soon.

chemistry or not I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

It’s hard to see straight in the heat of the moment…

Of course, if you want the simple, short formula for true love, here you go:

  • Find a complete stranger…
  • Reveal to each other intimate details about your lives for half an hour…
  • Then, stare deeply into each other’s eyes without talking for four minutes…

Am I pulling your leg?


Is that really all there is to it? YES!

York University psychologist, Professor Arthur Arun actually experimented on this in the lab. And you know what? It worked so well that – after 34 minutes of this experiment – several test subjects started dating – and one couple got married.

13 I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

It could work for you – but do you know HOW to do this the right way?

  • First of all, don’t find a stranger – you don’t want to wind up married to a weirdo.
  • Second, you gotta know WHAT to reveal to him that’s “intimate.”
  • And Third – you gotta know how to get him to open up and reveal his intimate details…

The rest will come easily…

How do you Stop Thinking about Your Ex after You Break Up? 

It’s painfully hard to force yourself to stop thinking of someone when you know it just can’t work out. If only we could just switch off our brains, it would make break ups so much easier!

Unfortunately we can’t just flip a switch, BUT there are several practical things we can do to retrain our brains to not associate the emotional state of missing somebody with the absence of their presence in our lives.

You may be asking yourself questions like:

  • Why did he break up with me?
  • Will I be single forever?
  • What did I do wrong?
  • Can I win him back?

And on and on…

The best way to forget about someone FAST is to eliminate any questions about your relationship that just ended.

You will need to find out why it ended in order to stop these questions from eating away at you (so you can stop thinking about him) and you also need to make sure that there is NO chance of a reconciliation so you can actually move on. Getting closure is the only way you will achieve this.

couple flirting I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

Learn how to connect with him – keep reading…

The following tips that you could use to stop missing someone and realize where you’re going wrong at the same time.

  • Make a Decision. What is it that you really want? Do you want to get over him or do you just want to stop being obsessed with him? Sometimes, all you need is a little clarity to move on.
  • Accept What Is. Don’t ignore or avoid thinking about your break-up. Instead, accept the fact that the break-up happened. It’s okay to spend a day or two mourning it by yourself. Once you feel saturated by thoughts, it is time for you to let go and move on.
  • Stop Pretending. Don’t pretend that you don’t miss him. Don’t try to forget that he existed. Instead, you need to focus on ways to avoid being pulled under by it.
  • Move On. The best way to stop thinking about someone, is to find someone else to think about. And no, that doesn’t mean you need a rebound relationship; think of others you can serve. It’ll work wonders.
  • Don’t be a Stalker. It’s easy to hope for happy reunions. Instead, give up on planning ways to “accidentally bumping into him” and accept the fact that you are trying to stop thinking of him.
  • What Bothered You About Him? It’s easy to overlook his flaws when you’re infatuated, but it’s time to knock him off of that pedestal you have him on. Once you realize he wasn’t as perfect as you thought he was, it will be much easier to avoid falling in love with him.

24 I Cant Stop Thinking About Him!   3 Reasons Hes On Your Mind

  • Out with the Blues. It’s so easy to throw a pity party, get depressed and suffer from low self-esteem, especially when you feel like he walked all over you. Laughter is the best medicine. It’s time to have a good time.
  • No Trolling. It is time to delete and block! Social networks have made it so much easier to be a troller. While it might seem like social media is a gift; that is the farthest thing from the truth. You will never be able to move on unless you stop having anxiety about your ex’s life.
  • Have some Self-Respect. You loved him and he walked all over you and treated you like poop. He didn’t respect you and he doesn’t care about you. Do you respect yourself?
  • Find a Hobby. Learn or do something that’s always excited you, be it playing games or joining a dance class. It’ll fill your mind with fresh, happy thoughts that’ll eventually wipe away all traces of the person you’re trying to get over.
  • Self-Love. Women are incredibly hard on themselves. Please don’t try to find flaws in yourself to find a reason for his behavior. Sometimes, guys are just toxic. There’s nothing wrong with you, except for maybe you just don’t love yourself enough.
  • No Chick Flix. For a little while, it may be best to avoid romantic movies (even comedies), and love songs. It will just bring out all of your raw emotions and turn your world up on end. Instead, watch fun movies.
  • It’s Vacation Time. You know that vacation you’ve always wanted to take? Sometimes, the best thing is a change of scenery. A fabulous vacation with your girlfriends to clear your mind and focus on new things is just what the Dr. ordered. You’ll come back feeling a lot better and have some clarity.
  • He Who??? It’s time to stop gossiping and complaining about him.
  • Fake it til you make it. As hopeless as your life may feel right now, you need to push through those feelings before they consume you. Go out, and meet new people! Pretend like you’re having fun and before you know it, you won’t have to pretend any more.
  • Don’t make it Easy. Don’t let him know how much he has hurt you. Always remember that, the clingy girl who’s having a hard time moving on is the weak person in the relationship. And the weaker and clingier you act, the easier you will make it for him to get over you. Do you really want to make it that easy for him?

Just remember these tips on ‘How to Stop Thinking about Someone FAST.’ They will help you realize that you need to move on.

As hard as it is to face, he doesn’t care about you anymore. And you definitely have what it takes to move on, as long as you believe in yourself.

You CAN take control of your relationship, and where it’s going.

If you want to know what will create an unbreakable connection with the man you want, CLICK HERE…

Go watch this short presentation – play it now…



(updated 5/24/2020)



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Dating in Your Forties

Being single in your 40s can be a brilliant thing. Let’s be honest, you’re more daring, more intelligent, hotter and more observant than any time in your past. A pleasant advantage of being 40 and awesome is that you’ve likely worked on yourself and are alright with what your identity is. If not, you’ll need to set up plainly recognized dating esteems, inclinations and objectives.

Dating in the modern landscape comes with questionable and confounding desires for gender roles. Many have varying perspectives and methods of reasoning particularly when both parties are financially stable. Not being in agreement can prompt hatred.

Open communication between couple is required to make a wide range of job divisions seeing someone work. Have a heart to heart talk with your partner. Reality is, you have different perspectives, you would then be able to choose if it’s a major issue or if the both of you can be adaptable to one another.

Trust your instincts. Most relationship mix-ups happen on the grounds that an individual doesn’t heed their gut feelings at an opportune time and stays figuring it will change. By your 40s, you have logged a few miles on your tires with a scope of human experiences, so trust your gut.

Also, by tuning in to your gut, you’ll have the option to look past sort and push ahead dependent on sentiments and common qualities which is genuine foundations of effective connections.

Dating motivation will in general be increasingly predictable when individuals are more youthful, yet when they arrive at their 40s, individuals might search for wide-extending objectives from union with easygoing hookups, fellowships, or even kids. At the same time having shifted lives with set up vocations, various types of money related duties because of families, homes, and that’s only the tip of the iceberg.

You are never again a 25-year-old living with flat mates and with couple of financial ties. Since the scope of reasons and desires around dating might be more extensive, be sure about yours. In case that somebody isn’t on a similar page as you, realizing your expectations can enable you to settle on choices that don’t leave you angry not far off.

Individuals are occupied with numerous obligations in their 40s that require all the more planning and rest. Try not to attempt to find some hidden meaning if your date needs to reschedule or call it early. In many cases, it is a direct result of their own obligations, and you’d almost certainly anticipate a similar sort of comprehension from them.

When we hit 40, we’ve had a lot of preliminary and blunders, however this needn’t be considered things. You’ve traversed any slip-ups you’ve made and gained from them, so recall this when you’re out on the town. You have carried on with a full life, no requirement for statements of regret.

Try not to make assumptions. You’ve obtained a lifetime of experience already or two with regards to dating, and accordingly, it’s anything but difficult to have existing convictions dependent on your past encounters-more than you ever would have in your 20s, or even 30s. In the event that you’ve had adverse dating encounters, you may accept the individual you’re dating has comparative characteristics or practices as somebody from before.

Being single can some of the time debilitate, and your certainty may be shaken. In fact, you need confidence. If you are not confident with yourself and your circumstance, it’s not appealing to somebody no doubt about it. You need to be the individual you’re hoping to draw in.

So, be simply the best during that moment and have a fabulous time getting to naturally know your date. Show an enthusiasm for them

questions to ask a guy

It can be tricky talking to men when you don’t know what to say. You might find yourself stuck in silence wondering what to talk about. The best solution is to have questions to ask a guy that get him interested in you.

If you know what questions to ask, you can make him feel whatever you want. Including attraction for you.

how to build connection intimacy with men ask questions 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

You don’t need “1000 questions for every possible situation…”  You only need a few questions that do the job right!

Questions can be conversational magic if you know what you’re doing. And if you’re a woman dating a man, you better know some of these if you want him to see you as different, and to get his attraction.

First of all – let’s review –

Why it’s so important to use questions with guys:

  • Men respond to questions – especially from women

Men have a primitive program that makes them almost compelled to answer questions from a woman.  So you never really need to worry about him going silent on you or not responding when you know how to ask questions correctly.

  • Questions awaken his emotions

Many women wonder how to reach a man’s emotions so you stir his feelings for you. The easiest way to do this is to ask questions of him.  Questions can arouse his feelings in a way that no other words can.

  • Questions get him to pay attention to you

They engage his attention and keep him focused on YOU. Guys think and communicate linearly, so they will be entranced – IF you know how to ask the right questions.

  • Questions get you secret info…

A good question is like Truth Serum to men. When you ask the right questions, you can find out ANYTHING you ever wanted to know about him.

And the best part is he won’t ever feel like you’re interrogating him or interviewing him. If you know how to ask him questions right –  And ask the right questions.

As you might imagine, questions are the magic bullet when it comes to getting a man to respond to you. Questions can also be a magic remote control for a man as well.

As we go through this list, keep in mind that having more questions just means more things you want to memorize. And let’s be real – NOBODY wants to memorize a bunch of stuff! We did that in public school, but it’s not fun anymore.

So I’m going to give you a few questions that you can choose from. Use them to inspire him to open his heart up to you.

You don’t want to just be a parrot, either. You want to be able to know WHY these questions work with men so that you can come with your own anytime.

24 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

One question you should never ask a man:

  •  Anything dealing with relationships before the 16th date…

Okay I might be exaggerating a little bit by the 16th date but honestly that’s a good limit.  And the reason that I say that is because if you’re the one bringing up the relationship, one of two things is probably true:

  1.  You’re bringing this talk up too early…
  2.  You’re asking about your relationship because you’re not getting anywhere with him, and it’s likely he’s just not interested in a relationship

If a man is ready for a relationship, he will tend to move forward with you. All by himself!

Men don’t resist the thing they want in life, any more than you do. If he’s not interested in a relationship with you he will drag his feet and stall in the way that you may hear many women complain about.

And there’s very little if anything you can do about it. If you have to push a man into a relationship, then you probably made a mistake much earlier that made him decide you are not the one.

(If you want to know why this happened, go read this special report on commitment…)

Let’s jump in and review –

21 ESSENTIAL Questions To Ask A Man

I’m going to Run-through some really important questions you need to ask a man.  Each one has a purpose, and I’ll explain how to use it as well.

Of course most of these can be used as phone texts or topics of conversation for when you’re in person.

Question #1:  Take him back to being a kid…

dos donts how to talk to men ask him questions 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

When you ask a man a question, you should know what state you want him to feel from the question. In other words, you want to elicit a certain emotional reaction. And maybe even awaken some memories.

Here are a few ways of doing that:

  • What is your favorite guilty pleasure?


  • What is your favorite childish fun thing to do?

This question gets him to break past his own internal barriers. Most people are stuck in small talk. If you want this guy to start having feelings for you, you have to be brave and break free of the small talk.

Most women stay in small talk too long, asking questions that are so boring they could put any man to sleep.  In fact it’s a common complaint from men that women are too safe with their conversation.

Most women are trying to avoid being confrontational, awakening any negative emotions, or taking any risks when talking to men. This is a huge mistake, because he will very likely lose interest because you played it to safe then if you took a risk.

Question #2:  Break Through the Wall…

One of the most important things to do is to get him to be vulnerable with you. Most women understand this and do their best to open him up.

But if you don’t know how men want you to do this, you can very often scare them away.

Here’s a great question to get him to start exposing his feelings more:

  • What are you most doubtful/uncertain about right now?


  • What is one of your biggest doubts?

The secret power of this question is that it gets him to talk about an area of his life where he may be struggling with a decision, or deliberating a lot.

21 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to get a man out of his casual frame of thinking with you.

Question #3:  The Origami Question…

Here’s one that will really stir up some great energy in your conversation:

  • “Can you remember the last time you lost your keys? Or wallet?”


  • “Tell me about the last time you broke your phone screen…”

There are a lot of different questions in this particular vein. What you’re trying to do is to ask a question about a seemingly small event that has a lot of emotional punch. I call it the origami question because asking it will open up and unfold a whole bunch of stories.

I’m sure you can think of a few more just like this.

Question #4:  Research The Other Side Question…

If you want to have some fun conversation, there’s no better topic than gender. Specifically, the experience the other side has.

If you want to start up some really great conversation, ask him something like this:

  • “What’s the best thing about being a guy?”


  • “What’s the worst thing about being a guy?”


  • “Who do you think has it better, women or men?”

Now, obviously this question is very charged. There’s a whole bunch of emotional triggers that could come up, so make sure you are fairly comfortable talking about this kind of topic with him.

But if you listen closely, you will hear very insightful information about how men perceive women. And some insights into how men think and feel too.

Question #5:  Test Their Limits Question…

things men do when falling in love 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

I personally love to ask moral dilemma questions. They always tease out the most interesting perspectives from the other person.

One great way to do this is to ask them what they would NOT do for money.

  • “So what would you NEVER do for $1 million?”

You can also play around with the amount a little bit to find out the threshold they have for certain things. Once you find out, you can then start to play with the question a little bit:

  • “Would you eat a snail sandwich for $50? For $100??”

Play with the situations, and the amount of money. When you find a threshold, ask them this:

  • “So what would you do with that money anyway?”

This way you find out how they value money and experience.

Question #6:  Secret Insider Question…

This question is designed to bring out interesting details about him so you can learn more about him.

It’s another fun question:

  • “What job do you think YOU could get with no experience and no references?”


  • “What job do you think you could BS your way into?”

Question #7:  Awaken The Dreams Question…

what men look for in a woman 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

Asking hypothetical questions is a great way to get him engaged in the conversation.

Like this one:

We all have a dream job we wish we could be doing and getting paid for.  This question is easy to remember, too.

There’s something enjoyable about entertaining our dreams in conversation like this.

Question #8:  Absurdly Fun Question…

Here’s one that can evoke some stronger feelings, but it’s worth it when you’re ready:

  • “What do you think is the most ridiculous thing about life today?”


  • “What do you think aliens think is the most absurd part of human culture?

Focusing in on the absurd and the ridiculous starts to sketch how this guy thinks about the world. Which of course is great information for you to know.

Question #9:  Words To Live By…

You can also find out about his direction in life by asking about the wisdom he’s heard. You can ask him:

  • “Are there any sayings that you think you live your life by?”


  • “What are the most powerful words of wisdom you’ve ever heard?”

And then pay attention to what he thinks is wisdom. It will probably point towards an area of his life that is important to him. And then you can explore that.

Question #10:  Wake Up The Elephant…

what about women turns off men the most 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

One topic that we don’t talk much about but influences us all the time is technology.

Throw this question in and you’ll definitely get into some deeper conversation about communication – and life in general.

  • “Do you think that technology is bringing us closer together? or pushing us further apart?”

This will definitely bring up a bit of his views and perhaps his philosophy surrounding our modern age of technology.

Question #11:  Would you rather…?

Perhaps the hands-down winner of fun questions to ask are the “Would you rather…?” questions. My son loves these in particular. So you know most guys probably will.

And the best part is that you can think these up on the spot.

  • “Would you rather eat 1 pound of your least favorite vegetable, or exercise for two hours straight?”
  • “Would you rather lose your car keys or your cell phone?”
  • “Would you rather have nosy neighbors or noisy neighbors?”
  • “Would you rather work in a group or work alone?” (Great for finding out if he’s extroverted or introverted)

Question #12:  Marvel At His Answers…

Most people have seen a superhero movie at this point. And you can bet if he’s a guy he has, too.

Ask him this one:

  • “If you could be any superhero from the movies or comics, which one would you be?”

Of course you can also ask him the tried but true:

  • “If you could pick any superhero superpower, which one would you want the most?”

10 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

Digging into what kind of power a man values tells you a lot about his personality. Listen closely to his answer!

Question #13:  Open Up The Vulnerability…

A great question you can ask a guy is this one:

  • “What is the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you?”

If you’re not feeling that you have the right level of rapport yet, you can change it to a softer version:

  • “What’s the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to you as a kid?”

This is especially good at breaking down all the barriers that we normally have on the first date. Use it to move faster when you know you like the guy.

Bringing out his vulnerability to you will actually make him feel more connected to you.

Question #14:  Figure Him Out Quick Question…

signs youre in relationship with no future 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

If you’re meeting a guy that you met online or on a dating app, you want to know where you stand with him as quickly as possible. When it comes to online dating, you can’t know too much too soon.

Ask him this:

  • “So what was it about me that intrigued you the most?”


  • “What did you find most interesting about my profile?”

You don’t want this to sound like a test, but you want to listen close and hear what he says. (Warning: This could be a potentially embarrassing moment.)

If he’s very general with his answer and doesn’t come up with anything specific, there’s a good chance he doesn’t even remember your profile at all. He’s just winging it – or he just wants to have fun.

On the other hand, if he’s very specific, there’s a good chance he’s very interested.

Either way you will know where you stand.

Just a side note: just because he doesn’t remember your profile doesn’t mean he isn’t a good candidate. A lot of guys just don’t have a good memory for the details of an online profile. ( I was one of them).

Question #15: Unleash the Power Question…

One of the best questions you can ask is about what it is that really motivates him. This is especially good for you looking at him as a prospective boyfriend, mate, whatever.

20 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

The best way to do this is to ask him a question about his passions.

  • “What are you most passionate about?”

Then sit back and listen to what he says.

A man’s passions reveal his character. And it will tell you a lot about whether or not you are compatible with him.

Question #16:  Go for the Jugular…!

Here’s one that will tell you everything that you need to know –  if you have the guts to ask it:

  • “What do you find attractive in a woman?”

Most women won’t ask this because she’s too afraid to hear him say something that she isn’t.

Put your fear aside, and ask him. He will tell you everything you need to know in order to win his heart if you listen closely enough.

And if what he says isn’t you, then move on to the next candidate.

Question #17:  Peek Into The Crystal Ball…

dating relationship advice questions to ask a man 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

This one is great because you find out about his goals, and even where he sees himself in a relationship:

  • “Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?”

This is probably one of the best questions to ask to find out if he’s really interested in a relationship or if he’s just a clown winging it through life.


If he can’t come up with anything very specific or interesting sounding, he’s probably not very ambitious and not goal oriented. And you should move on.

Because if you’re not careful, his answer could be your life 10 years from now.

Question #18:  Friends First Question…?

Here’s one that will tell you a little bit about how he sees the Platonic part of your relationship:

  • “What makes a good friend to you?”


  • “What do you think a good friendship should be like?”

Most couples understand that a romantic relationship is also a very deep friendship. So find out early on what he thinks you two should be as friends!

Question #19:  Get Tricky…

Here’s a great question to ask a guy that will tell you more about his character:

  • “Tell me about something you’re putting off right now…”


  • “Tell me about something you’re procrastinating on right now…”

This question is great to find out what his motivations are, and his DE-motivations.

Of course the next question to ask is: “Why do you think you aren’t you getting that done?

Don’t sound like you’re accusing him, just sound curious.

Question #20: The Big Prize question…

what men over 40 want in women 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

Here is a good old standard that works every time:

  • “If somebody dropped $100 million in your lap, what would you do with it?”

This is probably one of the best ways to find out all kinds of things about him…

  • How he values money
  • If he’s really doing what he wants to in life right now
  • Is he charitable?

You can learn a whole bunch with one little question!

Question #21: Get Philosophical…

Every so often it’s a good idea to throw out a deep think question, too.  This one is especially good because it’s wide open – after he answers yes/no.

  • “Do you believe everything happens for a reason?”

It’s also very hard to answer this question with just a yes or no. He’ll probably launch into a very long explanation of his answer.

Listen to him! You’re getting a bunch of juicy detail about him.

Question #:  And For The Big Kahuna…

Once you’ve established some rapport with other questions in this list, it’s time to bring out the big guns.

Ask this whopper when you feel the time is right:

  • “What do you think the biggest thing you’ve done with your life so far is?”

Yes this is a big whopper of a question. But you shouldn’t be afraid to ask it!

You may not want to pop it on the first date, but I would suggest you ask him AT LEAST on the second date.  Some women go their entire lives without ever asking their man something as revealing as this question.

You want to ask this question and then close your mouth and listen to his answer

  • Let him ramble on for as long as he wants!
  • Listen in between the lines – listen to what he says – and what he DOESN’T say…

And one more thing –

Let me tell you a SECRET about these questions that you probably didn’t know…

When he tells you his answer, you may be tempted to answer similar to his. But that would be a big mistake.

One thing most women don’t know is that a man will respect you MORE if you answer from your heart. He will know the difference.

And it’s actually better if you don’t always agree with him completely. Men are more intrigued when you have your own opinions and answers that don’t reflect his.

There are a lot of little tricks to understanding how men think about attraction… AND how they choose one woman over another to be with – and commit to!

If you don’t know how men connect with you, you’re probably going to make a lot of mistakes.

And I don’t want you to make those mistakes anymore!

If you could find out what men think, and find out what you may have been doing wrong all this time, would you want to?

how to know you have found the one 21 CRITICAL Questions To Ask A Guy

If you want to fix your mistakes once and for all – with the man in your life right now or the next one – you need to know what his CONNECTION CODE is!

Go find out here…


Nine Tips for Holiday Dating Safety

The holiday season is upon you. This can be a challenging time if you are single. Invitations to parties are flooding your mailbox. Various television channels seem to devote their entire lineup with movies depicting Santa bringing single women their true love. Jewelry stores are airing commercials showing husbands buying wives big shiny objects. Food companies are playing mind games too by showing how much fun it is to bake cookies with children and create enormous feasts for family and friends. Then there are the commercials showing you where to pick out the perfect ornament for your perfect tree. All this can send your head spinning and make you feel a bit down in the dumps if you are single. You may find yourself feeling isolated and alone. Oh and the final blow to your ego; let’s not forget your email is being flooded with discount offers from, eHarmony, Senior Singles and more.

From experience I have noticed this is the time of year that singles make dumb dating choices. I don’t want you to wake up in March with regrets. November through February are filled with events for couples. No one wants to attend holiday parties alone. No one wants to spend New Year’s Eve, the Super Bowl, or Valentine’s Day alone. This is the time of year when people settle for less than true love so they don’t have to be alone during the holidays. I want you to take an honest look at my tips below and see if you are guilty of committing any of them in the past.

Tips to Remember when Dating During the Holidays

  1. Remember: There is nothing wrong with being single during the holidays. It is better to be single than in a fake relationship.
  2. Watch out for the person that only wants a date during the holidays. Ask about past relationships. It is OK to ask the person what they want – do they just want a date for holiday parties or do they want a relationship.
  3. Don’t lower your dating standards during the holidays: Don’t let holiday party invitations cause you to act desperate and settle for less than you deserve.
  4. Don’t spend excessive amounts of money on your new date for Christmas presents. I recommend you don’t buy each other gifts.
  5. Actively listen: Pay attention to the little thing – like what he or she isn’t saying i.e. excessive drinking, selfish behavior, letting you pays for everything, complaining about child support etc… Don’t settle for the guy or gal that can’t or won’t say “I’m sorry” or that won’t communicate.
  6. Keep your eyes open: Actions speak louder than words. Watch out for the person that blames you for his bad behavior. This is the person that turns the tables and makes it your fault.
  7. It takes two people to make a relationship work. Don’t be the only one working on it. What is your walk away point? It is OK to end a relationship during the holidays.
  8. Don’t compromise your safety. Follow your intuition. Be careful of the person that immediately professes to be in love with you and then asks for money.
  9. Keep busy – whether it is staying home alone reading or writing or being with friends – no pity party allowed.

Now that you have reviewed the list and self reflected on past holiday relationships I want you to promise you will make wise choices when dating during the holidays. Singles can enjoy the holidays. When you implement my Nine Tips for Holiday Dating Safety you will have more money in your bank account, remember your self-worth, and have no regrets in March. Remember, there is nothing wrong with being single during the holidays.