The #1 Hands Down Reason Why Online Dating Beats Blind Dating

Or, Maybe it is…Here’s the Situation

Almost everyone knows what it feels like to be on a blind date. Most all of us have been to the point where their usual dating tactics just weren’t working for them for some reason or another and they needed a new direction to go in. So, we turned to our friends for help. And what do they get us? A perfectly good blind date.

What’s Wrong With this Picture?

Imagine this scene… You accept the date because your friend has so graciously stuck his head and neck out for you to get someone to go out with you for a night. You get on with your life wondering if the person really is perfect for you, as your friend described. Then the night looms near.. Then it happens. Just as you thought it would. A perfectly good blind date… From hell.

Here’s what happened- the two of you are in a restaurant and you haven’t even ordered dinner yet, but you are already wondering if you should dip out now, or if you should give your date the benefit of the doubt, as the drinks just came and you already know it’s doomed. You were hoping for a romantic dinner in one of the nicer places in town, after all that’s what a good first date consists of, right? But, what you actually got was a dinner consisting of french fries and onion blooms as the veggies and peanuts and chips for the protein and dessert, as you wound up in a sports bar, and not one of the nicer ones, either.

The scene kind of reminds you of something out of candid camera; there is no possible way anyone in the world would consider this as a good first date, could they? Especially considering it is a blind date, you would think they would give a bit more of themselves, right? To try and make themselves look good? Yeah, of course you would think this, but then again, that is the problem with blind dates, you never know what to expect. And if a friend recommended the person to you, you feel obliged to deal with it for the night, even though you would much rather be sitting in a water torture camp, next in line to be tortured.

The Date that Should Have Been

So, online dating is just the same right? Well, not really. Of course, when you talk to a person at first, you don’t really know them, but you at least have some idea as to what they are about before you go off with them. With blind dates, you really have no idea as to what you are getting into when you accept the date. But with online dating, before you actually accept a first date, you already know their name, where they live and what they are about, for the most part. And you even know if you will be compatible together, considering you have access to their profile and, more than likely, if you have been chatting for a while, they have told you even more than what is on the profile.

The thing that is so great about online dating as compared to blind dating is, because you pick the person, you will never be stuck in a situation like described above. A situation like that is just not possible with online dating because you know everything beforehand and, you know what you are getting into. With a blind date, you are lucky you even know their name, right? And always, before the first date even happens, you agree on the place the date will take place, meaning no surprises or disappointment when the date night arrives.

I Just Can’t Explain This – Can You?

So why, then, are there those people who actually prefer the blind date over the online date? Who knows. honestly, I have no idea why. There really is no benefit for a blind date. In fact, there is really no need for them anymore, as there once was. In the past, blind dates were had because there was no other alternative. In the past when blind dating was thought of, there was no online dating to choose from. So, it became just another way of meeting people.

Then when online dating came along, and when it got popular, things began to change. People realized they would have more choice of who they can be with and the dates they go on. They no longer had to rely on the word of a friend for a date, so things started going smoother for them. But even to this day, there are those people who still prefer a blond date as opposed to any other form of dating. I don’t know, maybe it’s the excitement, or maybe they are afraid of technology and they don’t want to take the chance. What I do know is, and I think I speak for most of the dating world when I say this-It is better to know what you are getting into, rather than guessing and maybe becoming the next serial killer’s meal for the night~JC Torpey

Mobile Phone Etiquette While Dating

We recommend the following: Keep your smartphone completely out of sight the entire time you’re with your date. In fact, best to turn it off. At the very least, put it on manner mode while keeping it 100% out of sight the whole time.

Deviate from that at your own risk.

More interesting is how we deal with this behavior from the women we’re dating. Let’s say she pulls out her phone while sitting down for a first date at a coffee shop.

Do me a favor, will you? When we’re together, turn off your phone. That way we can focus on enjoying our time together. Thanks. I will now let you dominate me in every other way for the duration of our relationship. Cool.

That’s how most of us tend to handle it.

One of our guys tend to be a little more, how shall we say… hardcore about the whole thing.

The first time she picks up her phone to answer it, he’ll raise an eyebrow and smile softly. The smart ones, the observant ones, notice that right away, and bury the phone on their own volition. The oblivious ones continue right along.

The second time the oblivious ones reach for their phone, he simply stands up and says,

Obviously your business on your phone is very important to you, so how about I let you handle it without interruption. I had a fun time. Bye.

And he walks away without looking back.

Mobile Phone Etiquette While Dating

Breeding, manners, and class make their appearance early on in the relationship – thus one of the major themes we love to discuss here is Identifying how to spot red flags.

Sure, there are exceptions to this ‘rule.’

For example, if she were to put her smartphone on the table when the date starts and says,

Excuse me, I’m normally not this rude, but I am expecting an important business call from my main supplier in China and I have to arrange for the delivery of quite a large sale for my company. I am sorry if it interrupts our time together; it’s my work.


I’m really happy to see you today. My Mother might call during our time together as my Father is just getting out of surgery and I really hope he is okay. Is it alright with you if I keep my phone here, just in case?

Those kinds of preambles get her a pass.

We’ve had girls who’ve dated us for months who don’t even know what our phones look like (talk about being a mystery to women!).

We recommend you do the same.

How Long Should You Wait To Text Her Back?

Today we tackle the age-old question, stretching across the generations of human’s history, defying boundaries and stumping the world’s greatest thinkers since time immemorial:

How long should a guy wait before texting a girl back?

As with most of our takes on texting, the less you do, the better. That’s a good general guideline. However, we’re going to get really specific with this one. The answer to this ancient riddle mostly depends on who she is, and your relationship with her. So let’s break it down:

How Long Should You Wait To Text Back A Woman You Met Recently?

You meet a girl at a party / on the train / in line at the supermarket / through a friend. You’re interested in her, she seems to be into you. She texts you first. What do you do?

Correct move: You respond between 24 to 48 hours later.

This does the following:

  • Builds response potential on her end if she likes you (“Aaaaaah! When’s he gonna text me back?!?!”).
  • Avoiding being too available / too needy (“Wow, this guy texts me back right away! I have a new girlfriend to talk about all my guy problems with!”).
  • Weeds her out if she isn’t actually all that into you (“Man, this guy isn’t dancing to my tune. Meh.”).
  • Encourages girls with bad attitudes to tip their hands (“WTF! Why didn’t you call me right back! That’s so rude! I’m gonna text him 85 times, then kill his rabbit and boil it!”).

How Long Should You Wait To Text Back A Woman You’ve Been Dating?

If you’ve been dating her for less than about 10 dates or so, and she hasn’t asked for an exclusive boyfriend – girlfriend relationship, go with the same as above. Respond 24-48 hours later. It’s still casual, fun times dating.

Responding any faster at this early point in the relationship can backfire in several major ways:

  • It could lower her interest level in you. (“Ah ha. Now he’s texting me back faster. Got him. Next.”)
  • It could mess with the relationship dynamics in unfavorable ways that ultimately lead to all parties being unsatisfied. (“Ah ha. Now he’s texting me back faster. Good dog. Sit. Stay.”)
  • It could begin setting boyfriend-girlfriendesque precedents which opens up all sorts of problematic avenues by going bass-ackwards into a fuzzy-wuzzy relationshipy kinda “thing” which no one really knows WTF is going on. (“He insists he’s not my boyfriend but he sees me 5 days a week… What’s going on?!”)

How Long Should You Wait To Text Back Your Girlfriend?

This one is a bit different.

We recommend all guys clearly negotiate their terms before ever agreeing to an exclusive girlfriend / boyfriend relationship with a woman.

When they do so, how often texts are expected to be sent is likely to be an issue you want to cover.

We know an extremely happy couple in which the girl sends a flurry of texts every day, and guy never texts back – he opts for phone calls when he needs to talk to her.

Likewise, we know another happy couple where the girl sends a flurry of texts every day, and guy responds about once a day, or 24-48 hours later (as described above).

Ironing out these details before committing to a relationship will save massive headache and heartache down the road. Figure out what level of texting is acceptable and appropriate for you, then make sure to lay that out while negotiating the terms of your relationship.

(That being said, I still think the less texting going on in any romantic male / female interaction, the better. I like my conversations held face to face in reality with the women I’m dating.)

Ways to Make a Girl Fall in Love With You

Numerous books, YouTube videos, articles online provide countless dating tips. Some online gurus claim you should just register on a dating site, while others encourage to go offline and to approach real girls in coffee shops, bars, malls, or restaurants.

Let’s assume you are confident and easy-going enough to approach someone in the street, but the question is how to make a girl like you? How to stand out among other suitors? How to make sure she sees the real you and understands your true intentions? How to attract someone who represents another culture?

People say females prefer confident guys. Some men mix confidence with arrogance which smart adult women see as a huge turn-off.

As a matchmaker with 12 years of experience, I can confess that women – especially traditional Ukrainian ladies – are attracted to honesty and straightforwardness. This doesn’t mean though that right on the first date you describe in detail all your sexual preferences and fantasies, food allergies, and the amount of money you own to the bank. This means you set the dynamics in your acquaintance that can blossom into a healthy romantic relationship: you text first, invite the lady out, foot the bill on a date, bring flowers, and do not play games. If you like something – you tell it out loud, if you don’t – you also tell. Eastern-European ladies really value it when a man means what he says, keeps his word, and from the very beginning is sincere about his true intentions.

In western society, many women love the idea of being equal. They do not mind being the one to ask a guy out and to split the bill or buy tickets to the movie on the first or second date. In Ukraine women are proud to be women in “Ukrainian sense” – she won’t mind spending half her salary on a new dress, shoes, hair, and make-up to wow a guy on a date, but she will take it as a personal insult if he asks her to pay 10 dollars for her cappuccino.

How to make a Slavic girl fall for you? First of all, you have to realize you can’t play by Western rules. What worked in Canada, Germany or the USA won’t work with your Slavic love interest. Do your homework – learn the peculiarities of Eastern-European culture and better do it not from the western coaches and gurus. Even if he is happily married to a Ukrainian woman it doesn’t mean that his tips will work on another female. A lot depends on the age group, background, level of education of his wife – it can be very different from the lady you are courting.

It is important to make your love interest feel special and wanted. Good smart compliments can help you a lot, while cliché compliments are a huge turn-off and will cost you points.

If you date someone who speaks another language it is always a good idea to compliment the English skills. It takes time, effort, and commitment to master a foreign language, especially to be fluent in it. When you compliment something a person is really proud of – you hit the nail on the head. Still keep in mind that this is a “safe compliment” which is appliable to your friend or colleague. It can be good at the early stage of your acquaintance, but it can irrevocably friend-zone you.

Slavic ladies take pride in their looks and dress to impress, so complimenting all the efforts she makes to look good for you is always a good idea.

We often receive this question from the subscribers at our blog on YouTube: “I love a Ukrainian girl but I don’t want to be the first one to open up about my feelings. What should I do?”.  You should man up and be the first one to tell your girlfriend about your feelings. Unless you both are 16 years old.

So how to make a Ukrainian woman fall in love with you? Forget your western tactics and learn more about her culture. Observe what Slavic men do. A Ukrainian man does not let a woman pay on a date with him, actually even if it is a business lunch he still pays. He doesn’t let a lady carry her luggage, opens the door, and leads in a relationship. Of course, there are ill-mannered men in every culture, but luckily, they are a minority.

As a foreigner, you can pull off the “exotic” or “extra romance” card. Relationship with you from the very beginning promise more romance, intrigue, and adventure.  You should teach each other the peculiarities of your cultures and together choose what works best for your relationship. At the same time, it is naïve to expect her to westernize in the aspects that suit you best: the most stupid expectation – she will start splitting the bills on the dates as your ex from Texas. She won’t! simply because a Ukrainian girl usually invests so much more into her looks (and we are not speaking about a made-up beauty now) than your western ex. This doesn’t mean though she expects expensive gifts from you. Flowers, dinners, theater, or cinema tickets are expected, while fur-coats, iPhones, and jewelry are expected only if you try to win someone 15-20 years younger. In this case, you will have to compensate for the age gap. Sounds rude, doesn’t it? Well, it is a reality.

Try to be honest with yourself: why do you want a relationship? What are your long-term goals? Do they align with the goals of this Ukrainian lady? If the answer is yes – be honest with your lady, get ready to adjust your dating strategy to her culture, be patient and as a result, you will be rewarded with a love of a very special exotic lady.

How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

When you meet a guy or just want to start up a relationship with a man these days, you need to know how to start a conversation over text. Luckily, this isn’t hard to do if you know what he is looking for.

Sometimes it’s hard to come up with the right thing to say, especially if you’re trying to make a good impression. And if you’re over the age of 25, you may have a different focus.

dating advice how to start conversation using text messaging How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

These days our phones are our primary communication tool. Ironically, we mostly use them for everything else but calling friends and other people. Most of the time, we use our phones for texting only.

And, depending if you’re an introvert or extrovert, you may find it difficult to think of what to say for that all-important first message. Some people might send a text without a thought but if you’re like me you probably agonize over what to send in that text.

  • You don’t want to come across as if you’re needy or insecure. And you also don’t want to embarrass yourself in the process.
  • You also don’t want to appear as if you’re not interested…
  • You also don’t want to appear too interested…

It’s no wonder that people go crazy thinking about this stuff.

IMPORTANT: What You Should Think About BEFORE Texting Him!

Consider that before you text the guy you should think about who it is you’re really texting here.

  • Who Is he?
  • Is he a friend?
  • Is he a romantic interest?
  • Is he an acquaintance that you would like to turn into something more?

When you know these answers in advance, you will know what to do and what not to do much better.

Another question to ask is:

How Long Have You Known Each Other?

If you barely know the guy, you want to get as much information as you can to work with. This doesn’t mean you want to flood him with a thousand text messages. But you do want to give up some information from yourself first.

Guys find it hard enough to text women in the first place, so you want to help them as much as possible.

Chances are he is wondering exactly the same thing you are: What to text you, and what not to text you. And if he doesn’t have an answer, he will just not text you at all.

Which means you have the responsibility for getting this thing off the ground.

If you’ve known him for a while, they should have some familiarity. Which means you can be more playful with your messages.

But even then, it helps him if you offer up some effort into a thoughtful question for him.

What’s Your Connection Level?

Another good question is how well-connected are you?

Assuming that this is a guy that you want to date, you should be thinking about how much connection you have with him. Remember that every communication you have with a man is an opportunity to connect deeper with him.

16 How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

If you want him to invest himself in you, he needs your help in finding that emotional hook.

TIP: DON’T Start Texting Him With This…

There are a few things you definitely don’t want to start with. Here are a few of them:

This is kind of the default for a lot of our text conversations. It’s a simple, no-frills way to start a conversation with very little risk, but the problem is that it gives the other person nothing to work with to keep the text conversation going.

It’s not easy to start a conversation with just a one word prompt. And it usually feels like the person who said “hey” is just trying to avoid a little vulnerability.

This one is right up there with “Hey.” Again it’s just too little for the other person to work with. Instead say something that gives them something.

Yup, this is just another variation of “Hey.”

This one isn’t terrible, but it starts right out with an expectation that the other person needs to put the effort in first. Which is a little unfair considering you’re starting the conversation. Instead, why not tell them what’s up with you, then ask what’s up with them.

Some women like to send an emoji to a guy as a playful way to start a conversation. But again if you’re not giving him any information, he’s left thinking “WTF? What does she want?”

If you’re confusing him, you’re losing him.

dos donts starting text conversations with men How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

One of my top bits of advice is to cut down on the amount of emojis you use with men. Guys simply don’t use emojis in text all that much, and we sometimes have a hard time understanding what you’re trying to communicate with them.

The easiest way to think about this is, if you wouldn’t want him to send it to you, don’t send it to him.

TIP: Remember to not go into overload

One of most common mistakes women make when they text a man is texting too much at once.

Never text a man more than:

  •   one question
  •   one statement
  •   one idea

It’s not because men are stupid and can’t handle more than this. It’s that he’s linear in his thinking. He won’t take your text of three questions and answer all three questions. He’ll just answer the last question he sees.

And then you’ll be frustrated wondering why he won’t answer your other questions.

The reason is that it’s an overload for men because we take things one at a time. Women tend to multitask.

So keep each text message simple, and send only one thing at a time.

And remember that when you send too much information at once, in one text, it makes you look like a try hard.

A try hard is someone who’s trying way too hard because of their uncertainty or insecurity. Which can be endearing, but it can also push him away.

TIP: Make sure you time your text conversation right

You don’t want to send them a text when either he can’t respond or when you can’t respond.

You also don’t want to send them a text on Friday night at 9:30 PM when you should be out on a date. There is value in you looking unavailable as well.

In fact, you don’t want to even look at your phone during prime dating hours on the weekend. Not only will this motivate you to get out and meet more guys, but it will make him think you are every bit as valuable as you think you are!

You also don’t want to text him first thing in the morning. Guys aren’t that into text conversations before work, or even before coffee for that matter.

And you definitely don’t want to wake him up with a text. Unless you’re lying right next to him…

Before you text him, consider the timing – and the time of day.

TIP: Make Sure You Stand Out

This is a tricky balance for many women to achieve, but you want to stand out to him without blending into the crowd.

dating relationship advice how to start conversations using texting How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

Most women are used to not standing out when they’re with a group of other women. Ever since you were in grade school this was frowned upon by other girls.

Now, I won’t go into a bunch of evolutionary psychology here, but just keep in mind that your natural instincts will be to blend in more than stand out. But that will hinder you when it comes to guys.

A guy needs you to stand out.

You have to find a way to make yourself look different enough to capture his attention.

An easy way to do that in a text conversation is to ask him unique questions. The questions that other girls wouldn’t even think of.

Stuff like:

  • Where would you live if you could live anywhere?
  • What game show do you think you could be a champion on?
  • What’s your spirit animal?

You have to challenge him out of his mindset. And in so doing get him to see you as being unique.

TIP: What if you’re texting him after an argument?

This is one of those tricky situations where you want to know how to start a text conversation with a man, but it’s going to be a little emotionally awkward.

The best way to do this is to not try too hard to seek validation or approval from him. It’s only natural that you want to return to normal with your relationship. And you’re very likely to send him a “Are we okay?” text to find out.

dos donts using text messaging to start conversations with men How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

But the best thing to do is to simply pick up right where you left off. It’s the confident thing to do, and it’s probably where he just wants to pick it up from anyway.

If the subject of your argument comes up again in your text conversation, don’t deny it or pretend it didn’t happen. But don’t Make your argument the focal point of your relationship.  Just keep moving forward.

Just send them a him that has the maximum potential to start him talking.

Definitely do not send a text that is looking to confirm a future date, or asking him something like: “Are we still going over to Wendy’s on Saturday?”

These are messages that guys get all the time from women, and it frustrates him. Yes, even a text like that will feel needy and insecure to him.

If you feel you may need to apologize, that’s a great thing to throw into that text. Just go light and assume that he’s going to accept it.

And there is a time for sending him this text: “Are we okay?”  But only if you can be okay with it not being okay for a little while.

TIP: Starting a text conversation after a long break

Another situation where you may need to restart the excitement and fun is when there’s been a long break in your communication. Typically this happens after you’ve taken a break in your relationship.

Again, you don’t want to make it seem like you’re walking on eggshells around him. The best thing to do is to jump right in with a warm, fun, friendly text that lets him know nothing has really changed in your feelings.

08 How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

That’s one of the things that guys are actually a little insecure about. He doesn’t know how to ask or figure out if you still feel the same way as you did. And he doesn’t want to ask. (Men hate it when the woman in his life is angry. Guys are driven to make women happy.)

If it’s been a few weeks, there’s nothing wrong with acknowledging the time gap at the very start.

  • EXAMPLE: “Hey I know it’s been a little while since we talked –  I just wanted to connect and…”

And then you simply launch into the conversation.

TIP: Try not to use quirky, awkward tricks in your text messages…

It’s best to not fake a “mistake text.” A lot of women think about using these as a tricky way to start up a conversation. Especially with a guy they’re trying to reconnect with.

An example of a “mistake text” would be sending him this:

“Going to the store, be right back” 

Hoping that he will respond to it and you can say “oopsy” afterwards. (“Oops, that was for my roommate…”)

If you’re going to get tricky like this, first ask yourself why. Why do you need to play that game?

Chances are you’re getting tricky with your texts because you’re afraid of putting yourself out there and being vulnerable.

That’s fine, but resorting to trick texts is not a good way to work around your fear.

TIP: The Best Way To Start A Text Conversation?

It’s simple. Make the focus of your text learning more about him.

rules to follow is there right time to text him How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

I discussed this with women all the time: It’s rare for a man to feel like a woman genuinely wants to get to know him as a person. Guys are used to hearing a lot of nervous talk from women, but not a genuine desire to discover HIM.

You’ve probably heard a guy spend a good amount of time either bragging or showing off on your dates, too.

The source is the same: insecurity and nervousness.

Hey, we’ve all been there. We all want to make the best impression possible.

And the same thing is true for that opening text to him. If you can make it about him, he’ll be more likely to answer. 

Send him a question about HIM. Everyone loves to talk about themselves. And he will already understand that you’re interested in him simply by asking the question. You don’t need to overextend yourself to let him know you’re interested.

TIP: Never ever forget the power of the question…

Also, if you feel the conversation is stuck too much on you asking him questions, just say this:

“Ok – I’ve asked you enough questions…  your turn!”

If he struggles, or doesn’t ask questions about you, he’s not really interested or into you.

This is fairly simple and straightforward, and it’s important that you understand.

Let me say it again – if he doesn’t ask questions about you, he’s not interested in you.

“But Carlos – what if…”

No! There are no exceptions to this rule. If a guy is into you, he will ask questions about you.

Remember my advice: STOP WATERING DEAD PLANTS!

TIP: If You Want A Date With Him…

Once you’ve gotten the conversation started, inevitably you’re going to want to take it somewhere.

I’m assuming you want a date with this guy. Or some opportunity to get closer to him.

But you also don’t want to do all the work, because then you’ll never know if he’s really interested in you.

You want to feel pursued. You want to feel wanted.

So you definitely don’t want to do all the work for him.

The best way to do this is this:

Just drop a hint, and keep dropping hints until he gets it.

You should never ask a guy out point blank. I don’t care how many “empowered” advisors out there tell you to. 

Again, for the simple reason that you need to know he’s actually interested in you and that he would put in the effort to win you over.

There’s a reason that fairy tales are so important to women. You know you want him to show his desire for you – just like a Prince performs a quest for the Princess.

After all, if he wouldn’t even ask you out, you would never really know if he was interested.  And you wouldn’t know if he had the courage to do what he had to in a relationship with you.

how to start a text conversation with men How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

Would the man you’re with now slay a dragon for you?

Let’s face it: guys who don’t take initiative are duds, not studs. You don’t want to date him, and you definitely wouldn’t want to marry this kind of guy. 

The best way to start a conversation with a guy you want to date is to tell him about something you’re ALREADY going planning to do, then see if he’s interested.

EXAMPLE: “Hey, I’m going over to hike in Muir Woods this Sunday… You still up for that walk in nature?”

Just offer him the opportunity, and let him decide.

The real secret is to know what he’s going to say BEFORE he even says it. You gotta know how to read him!

And if you’d like to know for sure if he’s actually interested , then you really need to read his signals.

Go read this article on how to read men’s signals and know what he’s thinking…

PRODUCT Read His Signals How To Start A Conversation Over Text (For Grownups!)

Two Mythbusters and Some Tips on Dating Younger Women

Dating a Younger Woman Can Be a Challenge

And Sometimes Taboo

OK guys, let’s face it, if you are older than the woman you are dating by more than 7 years, it is sometimes considered a taboo subject. Or, if she is 25 or younger and you are of any age it can also be very challenging to deal with. If you find you are in either of these situations, or if you just want to find out some info for the possible future-let’s be honest-all you guys will eventually go through a mid-life crisis at some point in your life – you definitely need to read this article…


The Dreaded Stereotypes

There are obvious stereotypes that come with dating younger women. The first i the woman is just in it for the money. In other words, she’s a gold digger. The other? Well, some people don’t realize this but many people who see an older guy with a younger woman think he is a pervert in some way. Many people associate an older guy dating a younger woman as his wishing he could be with an even younger girl, and is settling with the youngest woman he can legally get his hands on. Lets talk about both of these for a minute.

The Gold Digger Myth: This is almost completely untrue. While, yes there are some women out there who are really just looking for someone with deep pockets to give them whatever they want, these women are actually a rarity.

In reality, many of the women are not really just in it for the money. As a matte of fact, these women know the older man is more experienced, in just about everything. And with this experience comes maturity, too. These women are looking for companionship of the mature set because they are tired of dealing with the BS the guys their age usually put them through. These women just want to have a good time without the hassle of inexperience.

The Pervert or the Pedophile Myth: This is almost completely untrue as well. While, yes there are some men who are genuine bad people and are fantasizing about wanting to be on the wrong side of the law, for the most part older men are not after little girls.

Here is what they are after… The older man will go through a mid-life crisis at some point in their life and want to live out their dream of staying forever young. Sometimes it is exasperated by their age and possibly their energy levels dropping off. This hits them where it hurts the most-Their ego.

The later the crisis happens, the more pronounced it is. And when it happens, they think dating a younger woman will solve their problems of staying young. They think they can recapture their youth just by being around an energetic, fun-loving, out-all-night woman. While the younger women set DO have a tendency to party all the time, this is not what runs their lives, so you older men need to remember that!

Tips for Dating the Younger Woman

While it seems like dating should come naturally, no matter what the age difference, the older man must remember the rules have changed. There are some very important things he must keep in mind if he wants the relationship to work out.

Be Spontaneous: Because when men, as they age, tend to become a bit set in their ways, they will do things the way they know how over and over again, hardly changing anything, this can become quickly boring to the younger woman. The younger woman, however is full of life and wishing to do things on a whim. She is looking to have a god time with you, so while dating a younger woman, if you can be a bit more spontaneous and change the way you do things , even just a little, it will work to your advantage. She will see you as a great spontaneous guy instead of the old Grandpa just sitting around watching TV and going to lunchtime matinees every Saturday afternoon.

Don’t Get Too Clingy: When you have been in a relationship with someone your own age for awhile, it is easy to get into certain habits and get set in your ways again. For example, when you talk on the phone. In the past, when you were together with someone close to your age, you would constantly and consistently pick up the phone or answer a text the instant you got it. Of course you did. You have been together for so long, it is the usual things those types of couples will do.

But when you are with someone who is much younger than you, it is ill advised to answer right away, or even every time. A better way to go about this would be to wait to answer a call and let it go to voice mail and then call back a few hours later. Or maybe wait for the next one altogether. As for texting, as you surely will have no choice but to learn how to text, if you don’t already know how to do it, don’t answer it right away. Wait a few minutes, hours or maybe wait for the next one. What you are trying to convey is you don’t revolve around her.

This has two good reasons. First, if you are too quick to answer, it looks like you are either too emotionally needy or you don’t have a life. Either of these will get you broken up a lot quicker than if you were to let he relationship run its course. The other is if you act as if you are o totally into her, it will have a reverse psychological effect on her. She will be calling you more because she will think you don’t want her.

Don’t let her know the age difference bothers you: Because, face it-you know it does. There is no way you are going to date a younger woman and not constantly think about it. And you have to admit to yourself that your personal consciousness of the age difference is making you insecure about your age. This happens a lot with these kinds of couples. Whatever you do, do not make jokes about the age difference. While you don’t want to completely ignore it, you also don’t want to seem insecure or put any more emphasis on the fact than there already is. So, do not call yourself her “Daddy” and definitely do not say that “you robbed the cradle” while it may seem funny or cute at first, it will only hurt the relationship in the long run because she may start to resent you for taking on that fatherly figure stance with her.

Could She Be Pregnant?

The Pros of Dating the Younger Woman

In the long run, there are advantages to dating the younger woman. For example, your experience. Because you have been around the block a few times, you have the advantage over the guys her age in the sexual relations department. You also have the advantage over the younger guys because of your level of maturity. You are obviously more experienced at the game of life, so you will win with wit, if not for your strength.

In the End…

It all depends on how you carry and present yourself to her. If the two of you are confident you are right for each other an do not constantly throw the age factor into he conversation, things should work out just fine, as long as you are genuinely compatible with each other. But if you turn around and are pretending to be OK with the age difference, when in reality it gets to you, for whatever reason, talk about it and if you can’t work it out, maybe you should move on. Ultimately, however, it can work, as long as you take the advice given here.

How do I know? Let’s put it this way. I am a 32 year old woman and my husband of 2 years will be 51 in 2 months… That’s what, 18 years difference? How do you think I know?

Women & The Married Man Syndrome: Why it Happens & What it Means

You Did It Again…

You fell for another married man. And for any woman who has not yet done so, you may never so count your blessings on that one. Because, let me tell you… The falling for the married man syndrome is hell. It is a hard situation to get out of once it happens. And, unfortunately, once it DOES happen the first time, it happens over and over again, even though we keep saying we have “learned our lesson this time around.” We never really do, right?

The Science & Psychology Behind It

Here’s the deal, a married man is a forbidden fruit and once a woman gets a taste of that fruit, it’s like a drug and she has to have more. Being with a married man sometimes can make a woman feel like she is living dangerously. She is doing something forbidden and many women get a rush off of that kind of feeling. It really is almost like a drug.

You see, when a person is in a situation that is seen, or perceived, as a danger, we release chemicals in our brain that cause the “Fight or flight’ syndrome. And if those chemicals are released too much over a long period of time, a person can actually become addicted to it. Believe it or not, a woman who gives up her married man can actually go through a sort of a withdrawal period afterward. That is because she suddenly does not have that huge rush of chemicals flooding her brain anymore because she has stopped seeing him.

Believe it or not, runners go through the same thing if they stop running after years, or sometimes even after only a few months, of doing so. It is an actual physical addiction and they will go through the cravings and the psychological addiction just as any drug addict would. The only difference here is we are talking about ruining. Or in the case of this article, dating married men.

Why The Men Allow It

The real problem, however, is not that the women are addicted to dating married men. Well, yes it is a problem, but it is no worse than the men who allow it to happen in the first place. They are the enablers, the ones who are taken and should not be putting themselves in the situation in the first place. But they do anyway. Why? Well, for many reasons. The main reason is because they want their cake and eat it too. They want to know they still have the magic they used to when it came to dating women. They want to know they are still men, so to speak.

Then there is the man who really IS in love wit the other woman but just can’t bring themselves to break it off with their wives, for whatever reason. These men don’t want to ruin a good thing and therefore are just being selfish. They might actually propose to the other woman, because he really feels he wants to be with her, all the while knowing it will never happen. He will never leave the wife number 1, therefore eventually breaking the other woman’s heart by letting her know the he can never leave his wife and is breaking up with her instead.

The Effects of the Breakup-Why Women Need More Married Men

This then sends her into solitude, with a broken heart and alone. The psychological effects are seen and felt immediately. She of course will cry, but there is another effect as well. She might start saying she can’t live without him or that she needs to be with him, or she feels she might die without him. Then after a few days of not seeing him, she will start to feel the physical effects of it. She will get physically sick, maybe even feeling nauseous, attributing it to the break up and normal feeling of heart break.

The thing is, with a women who suffers from the addiction to dating married men, she will feel the physical effects of the heartache more than most and sometimes as much as a person coming off of a hard drug, such as heroin. She may have the shakes, vomiting, fever-the works. And there are only two things to do. Get through the withdrawal so she can be physically fit enough to date another married man to satisfy the psychological craving. the other is to get some help from a doctor who can give medication to make the physical symptoms go away, or at least lessen them some. Then she needs to get into counseling to work out her problems.

What to Do Next?

What a women does next is really up to her. It is not her fault she keeps getting into these situations, but it is the guy’s fault or helping her and not saying no. But we are not going to focus on that part of it. I’ll save that for another post. What the women should do is get some counseling-long term counseling to figure out why she feels the need to date married men in the first place. I mean before she actually got addicted. There is always a reason for everything in life, and this is no different. Maybe she didn’t know to begin with.

Maybe she got stuck in the relationship and it grew on her, so to speak. Maybe he promised her the world and she believed him and then she got hooked on the danger aspect of the wife finding out. Whatever it was that started it, she will never stop if she doesn’t work out her problems that were there first, before the first married man entered her life. There was something that escalated the situation that is for certain.


What compounds the problem even further? The fact that she may be too embarrassed to get help in the first place. She might actually, unfortunately so, wind up being one of those other women who actually kill the wife, or do something else equality as stupid, such as kill herself. No matter what the situation, if you happen to know someone who you think may be in this situation, please, for her sake, try to help her. Talk to someone about it, like a doctor. Yes, she may harbor some bad feelings towards you for awhile, but she probably needs the help. What are friends for anyway, if we can’t hep one another?


When Love Just Isn’t Enough: Was It Ever In the First Place?

What Makes or Breaks A Relationship?

What a person wants most form a relationship is to love and be loved. The problem is, however, that these days, that loving feeling and the actions that go with it, just don’t seem to be enough anymore. There are other things to consider when starting, or continuing a relationship. Things like financial security and independence, good health and one’s general well-being are other things that make a healthy relationship go ’round. These days, the relationships based solely on love seem to be the ones right up there with the abuse ones and others ending in divorce. This begs the question, why is love just not enough anymore?

A Person Needs to First Know Love to Know if It Is Enough

When a person is in a relationship seemingly just for the material things, or if they are in it for something other than the feelings one has for another, love is almost no where to be found. The problem is, in a relationship such as this, a person will never know what love is to have the ability to say whether or not it is enough to keep the relationship going. These relationships actually have a tendency to work rather well, unfortunately, as both parties seem to get something out of the fact they are both mutually benefiting form the relationship in some way. This just goes to prove the point anyway, love just isn’t enough and in a case like this, love is non-existent, yet the relationship works anyway.

But this type of mutually befitting relationship is is not love. While it may work in the manner described, the people in these types of relationships probably have absolutely no idea what love really is in the first place. So they go on with these things they benefit from in the relationship and pretend it is love they are feeling, when in reality it is a hole they are filling with the material things instead of the love they deserve. If they could just push past this feeling and try to see a bit further down the road, they just might find the love they need, after all else is had.

The Other Needs in a Relationship

So, if love isn’t enough, then what is? That is the big question that really makes everyone wiggle in their seats. Because everyone knows that love is SUPPOSED to be enough, so when the truth finally comes out that it’s not, it makes people uncomfortable. You see, the relationship I described above isn’t too far off from reality. There are other particular needs that must come first, before love can even be thought of, let alone felt by someone.

For example, there are physiological needs, the need of safety and security, sexual needs and the need to belong somewhere with someone, respect and esteem needs, and the need for self actualization. But what do any of these have to so with a relationship and love? They are the foundation in which the love gets built on. The love is just a compliment to these other needs.

The physiological needs are air, water and food. This is an obvious one, of course. Without nay of these, no one can survive. Then safety and security, everyone wants the feeling of being able to come home to someone they can trust to keep them safe, in their home and in the surrounding neighborhood. Without this feeling of safety, everyone gets to be on their toes constantly, which can make for quite a jittery and jumpy person. Imagine how you would feel not feeling safe in your own home. Those of you reading this who have been robbed in the past know exactly what I am speaking about, don’t you?

As for sexual needs, everyone needs release at some point or another. Not only to work off tension, but to start a family as well at some point in their life. That goes equally for the need to belong somewhere with someone. Feeling like your home is yours, or feeling pride for the neighborhood you live in give a sense of being that is indescribable.

The need to feel they are respected by others is a great one. This contributes to a person’s self-esteem which in the long run, if it is damaged in some way early on in life, can damage a person’s future. Self respect is equally important because if a person does not respect themselves, then how are they going to command the respect of others?

The need to be happy with oneself is a must. Self actualization is such a profound part of life, a person who is not ultimately and fundamentally happy is doomed to forever fail at anything, and everything they attempt to accomplish, including love and any relationships they may find themselves in.

These things have been scientifically proven, ever since way back in 1943, when Abraham Maslow wrote “A Theory of Human Motivation,” and he outlined his belief of the “Hierarchy of Human Needs,” and outlined exactly what you just read above. And there have been many studies done since then, but the point I am making is that even back then, it was a fact of life that love just wasn’t enough to get by within a real, meaningful relationship.

What if Love Is All here Is?

Well, to put it simply, it can’t be the only thing! You see, there is much more to a relationship than love. Although it might feel like love is the only thing that exists between two people, the truth of the matter is there is much more to a relationship than just love in itself. Believe it or not, love being the only thing just isn’t possible. Think about it, most of the things described above, are taken for granted my most of us every day of our lives. It is when all the other stuff is pushed out of the way, or fulfilled in some other manner, then and only then can love finally start to really set in. But real love, not some superficial, “I want to be with you tonight” love, no. I am talking about the kind of love that creates dreams and real marriages that last a lifetime.

In the end it really comes down to how you feel about yourself. Because the old saying that, “If you don’t love yourself, you can never love another person,” is true. And it has been proven time and time again by people in relationships all over the world. Stop and take the time to know yourself before attempting to settle down with another person in your life. Really get to know yourself because the more you know and love yourself, the more you will be open to loving another. And this process will make it easier to find love, as a matter of fact, I can almost guarantee that if you take the time to stop for a bit and get to know yourself better, love will find its way to you in the end. It’s as easy as that, this I promise you. So love and respect yourself, and the love of another will come naturally.

Types of Women to Avoid When Dating-Online or Off

Online Dating – It Takes All Types

Recently, studies have shown that men date for intimacy – not just or the sexual fulfillment. A Whopping 52% of them. Unbelievably, men really do want to find that perfect person to settle down with. They want the romance that intimacy brings when dating to find that perfect person to spend the rest of their lives with. But, when a man is looking for love online, it is easy to get trapped into a relationship that is not healthy. There are types of women to avoid and ways to tell if a woman is one of them.

The Overly Feminist

These type of women can be hurtful. While they are a movement of their own, they believe that men are the cause of everything wrong with the world. They believe that men caused all f the pain and suffering that any woman has ever been through. Feminist women believe they are smarter and more intelligent then a man will ever be. These types of women believe with all of their soul and being that women truly are better than men and can complete a task better than any man could. These women believe that women do things the right way and that men contribute to dumb force of the physical-an d that’s it. These women usually cannot be pleased in any manner, and least of all sexually. Men are good for nothing “moose”. Why would any guy want to be with a women who thinks he’s no good in bed and a woman could do it better than him?

The Gold Digger/Material Girl

These women need the material things. These women will not rest until they have picked your pocket for every last red cent you may (or may not) have. And then once they are done with you, they spit you out and move on to their next victim. It’s not their fault, really, they were raised that way. Either that, or they grew up so much in need of personal material things, like love or clothing-or food even-that it has damaged them for life. Stay away from this type of woman, Unless you like living in debt and owing your life to the bank…

The Hopeless Romantic

This woman is a hopeless story of little miss princess. She lives in a fairy tale of perfect love and Knight in Shining Armour’s and thinks you will sweep her off her feet. The problem is when this woman finds out that life is not at all like it is in the stories, she will blame it on you. It will be your fault because she doesn’t have the perfect life, it will be your fault, there’s never enough money, or happiness, and she shouldn’t have to live like that. Stay away from women like this, or you will be living alone.

The Angry Woman

These types of women act very much like the feminist, except they hate men, instead if just thinking they are stupid. For whatever reason, maybe they were abused as a child, they grew up believing men were going to hurt and they grew up hating them. Their hearts are cold and they no longer have any feeling at all towards men, and most times, just like feminists, turn out to be lesbians. A Tell tale sign of these women? Men are nothing but “pigs” “swine” “jerks” and worse. Stay away, unless you like getting beat every night-and not the sexy way…

The Perpetually Insecure

These women always need reassurance, almost to the point where tyou can’t even say they need to wipe a spot off their cheek for fear they will spend the next hour in front of the mirror. It is s psychological problem, so have pity on them. Yes, it is very annoying after a while, they can be the most beautiful woman who has ever walked the planet-after all… They just need to be told that every minute of every day.

With all the time you spend telling her how beautiful she is and reassuring her that the other women are never going to have you, it’s a wonder you even have time to look for her replacement-because if you are with a woman like this, that is what you are going to be doing real soon-looking for a new woman to be with.

The Mysterious, Elusive

This woman has tendency to keep a dark side. At first it can be a nice change to be with someone who doesn’t like to talk about themselves all the time, but after a while, it can be frustrating. She will show much interest at first and then she will want to keep her distance. She has been hurt in the past and she knows she is “damaged” which is why she will sabotage the relationship-to keep from “hurting” you. Unless you are into getting hooked and then getting your heart broken, you will want to stay away from these types.

Ms. Desperation

Otherwise known as “Lets Get Married Tomorrow!” These types don’t care who you are or what you are about. They are running away from someone or something and they think that getting married is the answer to all their problems. In a way, it might, depending on the situation, but in the long run, they will just wind up miserable and mad when they finally figure out they made the wrong decision. Then they will blame their sad existence on you because you didn’t stop the, from doing it. Unless you like Divorce Court, Stay far far away.

The “Have to Have it My Way”

The Controller is a woman who is downright nasty and cold, but does it in such a subtle way, it’s actually difficult to tell if it is real or not. This type of woman has to have a say in everything the man does. Including what he wears, who he talks to and when he is allowed to visit the family. But no self respecting ma would ever be caught dead in a situation where the women strips him of his dignity, let alone admit to it, so the man will not care what she does-so long as his friends don’t find out! So, unless you like enabling, leave her alone!

Just Have Fun

In the end, online dating is about finding who you want to be with. What you want. Not what I am telling you. If you happen to fin d someone you like very much and they are like any on the women I describe here, well, by all means go for it! It really is up to you. I just want to warn you as to what life will be like if you happen to get hooked with one of these types. I said, warn-not control you. Do as Thou wilt-Just remember, I warned you!

3 Situations When Lying is A Necessary Evil-Telling Them What They Want to Hear

Do You, Really? They Probably Lie to You…

Every day, when we see people in committed relationships, other people always assume that when the two people manage to stay together it is because of complete open and honest communication, right? Surprisingly, that is not always the truth. You see, many times, when people manage to stay together so long it is because they don’t tell their partner everything. Sometimes, telling your partner what they want to hear is a better idea, lest you lose the one person in your life who means everything to you.

You also need to think about this. Do you really want, or need to know everything? Meaning, are you fundamentally capable of total and complete forgiveness, and sometimes indifference, should the other person in the relationship do something terrible, but tell you the truth about it? Would you tell your partner if, for example, you ran into your ex and happened to kiss them, not because you lusted after them, and not because you don’t love the person you are with, but for a stupid “for old times’ sake” sort of situation, would you tell your partner about it? If there is absolutely no chance of them finding out, I mean.

Some people say they would, especially the women, because the one thing women want is honest, right? But would it be worth the honesty to lose the love of your life over one stupid kiss that meant nothing? I think in a case like this, not telling would be the bet approach. This is because, sometimes, lying is a necessary evil, it is just a matter of knowing when it is probably ok, and to what extent. So here are a few examples as to when it might be a good idea to tell a white lie-for the greater good of the relationship, that is.

Situation One-What He Wants to Hear

Women, here is a situation where you NEED to tell him what he wants to hear. Otherwise you will never see him again, no matter how good you are to him. Imagine he takes you home, of if you take him to your place. You have had some drinks and are feeling sort of comfortable and are looking for something more to happen between he two of you. You start kissing an groping at each other. You reach down and grab at his special parts and he promptly makes a joke, implying at how “big” he is. You think to yourself that he isn’t really, at least no bigger than your ex was, and that’s not really too big at all.

So, do you tell him the truth? Only if you want to humiliate and hurt him. In any situation when it comes to a man’s manhood, it is always in a woman’s best interests to lie and tell him what he wants to hear. Otherwise, you may scar him, if not for life for at least the time he spends being with you, and I fear it won’t be long before the two of you break up after a comment in that department. So, if you value his feelings and whatever budding relationship you have with a guy, when it comes to his private army of three, ever, ever tell the truth. Unless he really is as big as a horse, that is. Then be as truthful as you want to be.

Situation Two-For Men & Women

Jealousy is a demon that we can all live without. The thing is, when it comes to our sexual past, jealously makes us ask questions about things we need to know, things we want to know, and things that should be wiped from memory, period. For example, say that one of you happens to mention how the other is the best when it comes to a certain move in bed. Do you then continue to tell them that you learned it from an ex? Of course not. But some people are actually dense enough to do just that, and jealousy rears its ugly head.

You see, when you are with someone, the other half wants-needs-to know they are the only ones you think about. So, if you learned a trick from someone in your past, pretend like you got it from reading a book. Because if you even hint at someone form your past, it will open the flood gates for more ugliness, jealousy and questions-unavoidable questions-of if they were better then them. Always lie about this, no matter what the answer. Always tell the one you are with that you have never had better. Or, you could tell them the lat person was a bit better in hopes of the one you are with wanting to learn, but I think you are digging your grave of breakup and it’s just not worth the trouble.

Situation 3-For the Guys

OK guys, you know how you need to be honest? You know how us women always ask if what we are wearing makes up look fat? Or if it looks good? Well, here is your chance to shine. Make her feel like a woman. Make her feel as if there is no other woman on Earth. Let her know that she is beautiful, passionate and attractive-and there will never be another in the world quite as sexy as she.

In other words, no matter what you do, NEVER tell the truth in this situation. Unless of course she really does look good, and she is the sexy mama you started dating her for… Or unless you think she really does look good with the UGG boots crop top and a mini skirt with a side of sausage… You get the picture, right? I mean, you did go out with her for a reason, right/ You did find her attractive at least in the beginning, so make her think you still do, even if you don’t, really because if he ever gets a hint otherwise, you will find yourself on the couch quicker than you can say the word break up.

Whatever You Do…

Make sure you remember what you said later if you need to use it again for some reason. The worst thing you want to do is tell a lie and then forget. That outcome would be worse than telling the truth to begin with. Because not only would they know the truth, they would know you lied to them. And that is worse than any truth ever told. They want t know you are honest from the beginning, they want to know you love them, but honestly, of course.

Which leaves you stuck in between a rock and a hard spot. How are you supposed to be honest if they really don’t want to hear what you are being honest about? It really is a difficult subject to navigate, so if you stick to these plans, you can’t lose. Unless you forget, that is. Good luck and go get to dating!