A Dating Quiz: Are You a Sexpert or a Lame Flirt?

Statistics from dating websites suggest that sex is really not that important. In fact, people in happy, sexual, dating relationships report that sex makes up only 10 percent of their partnership. This may not seem like much until you realize that sleep takes up 33 percent of your life, and work another 33 percent. And these are only the happy relationships. Once a couple’s ability to satisfy each other starts dipping in the red, the importance of sex jumps to 80 percent. This means that if you are not up to par between the sheets, your dating success rate could suffer drastically. What you know about sex could one day save your relationship. Let’s find out how much you really know.

Dating Quiz Questions

1. A guy is more likely to cheat if he earns less than $5,000 a year, than if he earns over $60,000?

a. True

b. False

2. The majority of Americans have lost their virginity during the month of…

a. January

b. February

c. June

d. October

3. Per capita, there are more twenty year-old virgins today than there were in the late 1950s.

a. True

b. False

4. What percentage of dating website members have engaged in sexual intercourse in a garden?

a. 3 percent

b. 11 percent

c. 20 percent

d. 33 percent

5. Statistics suggest less than 30 percent of U.S. males prefer women who shave their pubic region.

a. True

b. False

6. What does the word “formicophilia” refer to?

a. The fear of being filmed during sex

b. The fear of sex with an alien

c. The desire to wear tight underwear

d. The desire to have small insects crawling on your genitalia

7. A guy’s appendage will swell during sporting events; especially when his team is winning.

a. True

b. False

8. Which of these household ingredients could turn a date into an all-night sex-athon?

a. Chocolate

b. Tomatoes

c. Avocados

d. All the Above

9. _______ dating couples are driven to the hospital each year after attempting a bizarre sex act.

a. 100

b. 1,000

c. 7,000

d. 11,000

10. Research suggests for a man’s sexual appendage to naturally gain length and girth, he must…

a. Exercise regularly, which includes a regular program of sex

b. Take the vitamin, Saw Palmetto

c. Eat dark chocolate

d. Use any of the advertised growth pills on television

Survey Says:

  1. b- False. Surveys suggest that seventy percent of dating website’s members who earn over $60,000 have cheated on a partner at least once. Only 16 percent of men who make less than $5,000 cheat.
  2. c- More people lose their virginity in June than any other month. Try getting a plane ticket to the U.S. Virgin Islands during June, and you’ll seriously wonder if Saint Ursula and her 11,000 virgins are only a myth.
  3. a- True. There are more virgins today. However, we dare you to find one on a dating website… actually, we double dog dare you!
  4. c- Twenty percent of couples have engaged in sexual intercourse in a garden, which is why you should always wash your vegetables.
  5. b- False. Statistics suggest that 67 percent of men prefer women who shave, and the “Brazilian” (everything goes) bikini wax is the preferred method of hair removal.
  6. d- Not much is ever said about this fetish, but there is a good reason for that. Now that you know the name of this activity, we suggest you crumple it up, and throw it out of your memory bank.
  7. b- False. A man’s appendage has been shown to shrink during sporting events, especially while his team is victorious. This is why men will always be unattractive to women while watching a football game naked, with a beer in one hand, and a bowl of chili in the other.
  8. d- Studies suggest the phenyl ethylamine (PEA) in chocolate mimics falling in love, thus setting the mood. Tomatoes help calm pre-sex nerves and improve muscle control, and avocado boosts arousal, providing an intense orgasm due to its high vitamin E content.
  9. d- 11,000 Americans are driven to the hospital each year for attempting a bizarre sex act, and then hesitate to use their real name as they’re being signed in to see the doctor.
  10. a- There isn’t a lot a man can do to increase his size, without going through the medical procedure, known as Phalloplasty. However, according to research, the act of sex itself, which engorges his member with blood, could also boost size over time (we said, could).

The Dating Dilemmas of a Contemporary Theologian

The “rocky road” to love has more often than not felt like a Himalayan mountain climb for me. Of course, there has been plenty of “suitors” as my mother’s generation would have called them, some even managing to get through the front door and sit in the good front room, which was only used at Christmas. “Don’t worry if my dad doesn’t talk to you” I’d say as I walked down the road with my new boyfriend, “he doesn’t talk to any of the lads I bring home!” What confidence I must have bestowed in my latest fancy – advance warning that my dad would hate his guts and a confession that I was a serial dater!

Some twenty years later and I’m back playing the dating game once more and the rules haven’t changed one bit. It’s the same old place only it’s called “Mantra” now and somehow, instead of it being full of “auld lads on the pull,” it’s full of lads I used to baby-sit! Instead of Geldolf asking me to “feed the world,” Lady Ga Ga is asking me to poke her face! So my friend Lesley decided that this was ridiculous and she signed us up for a night out speed dating in “Howl at the Moon” in Dublin.

When we arrived twenty-five pairs of male eyes ran up and down our bodies, lingering far too long in all the wrong places (the right and only places on a woman as far as they were concerned I suppose) and watched us both as we came down the few steps to the registration desk. Their eyes were burning holes in the back of my head as we signed the forms. “I wish someone else would come through those doors” I thought but no, it looked as though we were the last to arrive and so we had to cross the ever-growing dance floor to our seats with twenty-five heads turning simultaneously as we passed.

And so, the speed dating rules were read out, the bell rang, and man number one sat down in front of woman number one and man number twenty-four sat down in front of me, “Julie 24.” How I wished at that moment that I was twenty-four. You see, Lesley had booked us into an age group of thirty-five to fifty. “Tony 24” had been generous to himself when he said he was forty-five. I had definitely seen younger forty-five year olds in the nursing home! The conversations all seemed to head in the same direction – your name, your age, where you were from and what you do for a living. Isn’t it quite amazing how much stock we seem to put in a person’s livelihood? Does is make any difference if he or she is a doctor, a bank clerk, or a bus driver? Is this where we place our human worth? Anyway, the minute I would mention that I was a student the “date” would naturally ask “what do you study?” “Theology” I’d reply. “Oh… do you want to be a nun?” he’d ask. “Yes” I’d say. “That’s why I’m out speed dating because I want to be a nun!” As if this hadn’t been bad enough, the other usual question was “have you ever done this before?” Unfortunately for me, when “Dave 19” asked me this question and I replied “no, this is my first time to try it.” He launched himself from his chair, did some sort of hula dance around the table and announced to the whole room “whey hey hey I’ve got a speed dating virgin!”

It didn’t get any prettier from there on in. I met “Frank 4” who had “love” and “hate” tattooed on his fingers and just to add to his magnificent artwork he had “all cops are bas###ds” tattooed across the back of his hand. I’m also sure that “John 15” was a serial killer and, as for the rest of them, well they were only looking for one thing and one thing only. The only person I had a laugh with that night was “Niall 14.” The poor guy had signed up to the wrong age group and was only twenty-two. We chatted freely and we both knew that the situation was rather funny. Now I have to be honest and say that the most enjoyable part of the evening was the bag of greasy chips on the way home through Inchicore. Lesley and I could not stop laughing at the situation we had both found ourselves in.

You would have thought that this was the point when we abandoned all hope but no, we’re not that easily put off. The organisers of the speed dating event had automatically added us to their dating website and within a few days a lot of “winks” and messages were being left on my profile page. There was Andrew who knew that God was working on his behalf to direct me towards him. There was Nafay, a twenty-eight year old bisexual Hindu and John who only had room for a woman who had room for him and Jesus in her life! However, there was also Patrick who seemed to have a lot in common with me and actually seemed to be normal enough. Now Patrick had told me during our online chats that he was thirty-eight, had blue eyes and brown hair, he was self-employed, that he had a degree, loved travelling, books, the theatre, and lots of other things that I also had an interest in.  You can imagine my surprise when this fifty-eight year old was sitting in the coffee shop waiting for me the day we met. His hair was brown… all four of them that were dragged across the top of his head with a pound of brylcreem and I quickly discovered that everything he had said online was without an ounce of truth. I think it was Einstein who once said that it is difficult to say what truth is but sometimes it is so easy to recognise falsehood! He didn’t like travelling, books or the theatre and had said it all to make himself sound more interesting. The most exciting thing this guy had ever done was get up early one morning for the opening of a new Tesco store!

Now, my mother had always told me that if a lad crossed the dance floor and asked me to dance in front of all his friends that the decent thing to do was to dance with him no matter what he looked like or who he was because it takes a lot of guts to ask a girl to dance with the fear of rejection looming so, I sat in the coffee shop with Patrick for almost two hours trying to make conversation with the guy rather than calling him a big liar and chucking the coffee in his face. I won’t be doing that again!

And so reader it is with a not so heavy heart that I have decided that online dating, speed dating, or any other form of dating that includes a profit-yearning third party is not for me. When Pope Benedict said that “love, in the true sense, is not always a matter of giving way, being soft, and just acting nice… a sugar-coated Jesus or a God who agrees to everything and is never anything but nice and friendly is no more than a caricature of real love,” he must have known something about speed dating or online dating, where everything is sugar-coated and nice, but none of which is real!

(Quote is from God and the World: Believing and Living in our Time, p. 186.)

Rules of Safety Online for Everyone: from LGBT to Traditional Couples

Dating online has become quite the oasis for LGBT people and straight people as well. Finding matches online is safe, fun, and imaginative. Unfortunately, that does not mean that it is a means of finding partners that comes without problems. Before you decide to meet gay guys online, check below a few easy things you can do that make using dating sites a little safer.

  1. How to find out the profile of your companion is fake?

First off, you need to watch out for people that using a fake profile. People make fake profiles on dating sites for many reasons, and none of them are good for you. At the very best, some people use dating profiles with embellished information on them to increase their chances of finding love. Otherwise, they may be looking to harm you or steal your money and information. Finding fake profiles is a matter of looking carefully for:

  • Suspicious behavior (won’t show their face in a video chat or pictures)
  • Using pictures from others’ profile (use a reverse search to check)
  • Lacking information on their dating profile

Many other ways exist to determine if someone is using a fake profile. Be safe by trusting your instincts if something seems too good to be true.

  1. How to keep your personal information safe using technology

The best way to keep your information secure when using a dating site is by using a reputable service. The greatest dating sites have encryption and heavy security throughout the site that will maintain your information security. Even when you are using a safe forum for online dating, you still need to be wary about what you are putting on the internet. Do not share your address with someone you do not know and trust; the same goes for personal identification information.

  1. If you go on a date, choose a public setting

The time will come when you want to hang out with your new partner to test your overall compatibility. When that time comes, you should always choose a very public location for the date. As sad as it may seem, being in a public place is a safety factor that allows you to lower the chances of you being attacked by a malevolent date or other people. Every LGBT person has felt angry eyes on them before, so be safe.

  1. Share your location with a friend

If you are out with someone and thinking about going home with someone or trying a different place to eat, share your location with a friend. Someone has to know where you are and when you are expected to come home at all times. That is the only way for someone other than yourself to know if you happen to find yourself in a bad situation. Use any of the available apps today to share your location directly from your phone.

  1. Go with your gut

Your brain can pick up on subtle clues that something is not right. Maybe people are looking at you and your date a little too intently. Perhaps your date is insisting that you go with them somewhere. If you feel like something is wrong, the chances are that it’s wrong. As such, trust your gut to get you out of bad situations, and do not be afraid to make a scene.

Online dating is supposed to be fun and safe for everyone. In fact, it is a very effective form of romance for LGBT people. That does not mean you should let down your guard entirely, though. Use the rules we have outlined here, and you will stand a much better chance of staying safe.

How to Break up With Someone Nicely. 5 Tips From Professionals

Regardless of the grounds, a breakup is a difficult stage of life that always leaves a trace. If you firmly resolve to quit your relationship, check out tips from psychologists that will help you both go through the breakup stage in less pain. 

1. Choose the right moment

It is difficult to pick the right time to make such an announcement. The feel of failure, regrets about your mutual past, and hard feelings will chase you both for some time. If it is you who initiates the breakup your partner might go through a considerable decrease in self-esteem level as well. 

The best thing you can do when choosing the right moment is to voice-over your intention to end relationships is to make sure there are no family reunions, anniversaries, holidays, or other important events at this point. Think ahead about what to say or write down all the things you want to mention during the conversation.

2. Visit a psychologist 

You might think there is no need to work on relationships when it is almost over, however,  we believe that it is more reasonable to go for an experienced qualified specialist’s help when having hard times. A psychologist will help you to end romantic relationships in a friendly and not to treat each other hostilely. 

A specialist will help you both to listen to each other’s opinions. A psychologist allows you to view the situation from a wider perspective and realize there is no right or wrong but different points of view that deserve respect and understanding.

By the way if you think there is a chance to save your relationship you may need a guide on how to make your partner forgive you.

3. Keep your eye on the future

Some people want to stay friends after a breakup. However, feelings of jealousy and animosity can make this task impossible to achieve. You know your partner well so think ahead of his/her reaction and balance probabilities of different scenarios.

Of course, if you have joint children then you will have to keep in touch from time to time. That is why we believe psychologist help is needed as the end of love doesn’t always mean the end of relationships. Make sure you resolve all the issues as peacefully as possible. 

4. Do not be greedy

If you have a joint property you both need to make lists of what would you like to keep. For instance, if something belongs to your family and it is important for you then you should tell about your intention to keep it for yourself straight away. 

Some things are not that precious though but make a partner sentimental. You should be generous and let your ex take all those things that seem important to your partner. Being generous can help to break up nicely. 

5. Take your time 

We can’t say exactly how long it will take to get over a breakup. Different people react differently to such a change in their lives. Some need a week to feel fine again when some need years to feel a complete person again. It is especially problematic when a long divorce proceeding takes place. It is okay to feel a bit empty once a relationship is over. Take your time and focus on yourself before you start dating someone else. 

You need to realize all the reasons for this breakup as it will help you to go through this time much more smoothly and to keep faith in love. 

Now when you know how to end a relationship let’s talk through things you need to do after a breakup:

  • Live. You may feel good or bad after a breakup but you are alive. You don’t disappear when someone leaves your life. You still have your life, job, kids, pets, relatives, lots of interesting and necessary things to do. If you hurt then live through this feeling as well as you don’t want to numb your emotions and get new psychological traumas. 
  • Let yourself be stupid. It is okay to be illogical after a breakup. You might want to get drunk, meet your ex and get a ridiculous haircut. Don’t put much pressure on yourself and let things you want to happen even if it seems stupid to you or someone else. 
  • Organize your life. Breakup means freedom. Use your time to make your life better, organize schedules, make and complete to-do lists. This is the time for you and you can fill your life with activities that you like without worrying about your partner’s comfort.
  • No one is irreplaceable. Sometimes a breakup makes you feel like you lost the opportunity to build cohabitation with someone special. Especially if you break up with someone you love. You need to remember, there was life before your relationships and it will get back to normal soon. Even though these relationships are the best that has happened to you at the moment but not the only thing that you will have in your life, that’s for sure. 
  • Keep hoping. Hope for new love, opportunities, meetings, trips, career boost. Faith in the future is a foundation of a successful recovery.  

Breakup is a difficult task that is depleting both physically and mentally. It is especially hard when the feeling of guilt is involved. Remember, you are not a bad person. Your happiness must be a priority so you shouldn’t keep dating someone because of a pang of guilt. 

As you can see, there are lots of ways to break up nicely. You need to bear in mind your partner’s peculiarities and be honest during this challenging conversation. Honesty and appreciation can help you both to get through this time with dignity and to preserve cordial relations with someone you value and respect. 


Oleg Kobets is an experienced blogger and relationship expert. He holds degrees in Sociology and Psychology and is happy to share his theoretical and practical experience.

* All images are downloaded from my Envato Elements Premium account and I am authorized to use them.

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work

A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don’t know!

secrets to successful long distance relationships How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don’t believe that long-distance relationships can work.

The truth is that long-distance relationships can work just as well is a regular relationship. And with so many people working from home and from far away, it’s more likely that your next relationship will be a long distance relationship.

As I like to say, any relationship can work – IF you MAKE it work.

One of the best rewards of a long-distance relationship is that you really can’t take your partner for granted. You wait so long just to see them and hold them, that you appreciate them much more.

I recently put together a master class program to help any woman make a long-distance relationship work with a man.

In celebration, I want to share a few tips with you that can help you make your relationship with him work no matter how far away from him you are.

First of all what is a long-distance relationship?

It’s really any relationship where you are more than a couple hours from your partner. Where you have a significant time or distance barrier to getting together.

When I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, I dated a few women who were close to San Jose. While those two cities are not terribly far apart, Bay Area traffic made the distance pretty huge. Sometimes it would take a couple hours to get there.

So take a look at your situation and consider that if it is inconvenient to get together, or you are unable to get together more than once per week, you may have a long distance relationship.

Let’s share some secrets about making a long-distance relationship work…

Secret #1: Believe It Can Work

It may be hard to believe your relationship can work. You may have tried a long-distance relationship in the past and had it fail.

On the other hand, you may have tried and come close to succeeding.

The very first step has to be to generate your faith in this relationship.

20 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Of course your belief won’t guarantee it will succeed. But if you don’t have faith in the relationship it will be very hard to make things work.

If you have reasons that you’re scared or insecure about the relationship, you should take some time to write those reasons down. Journaling is an excellent way to exorcise your fears.

And also check in with him. Make sure he has faith in the relationship as well.

If you have the right tools and the right skills, it’s actually not difficult to make a long-distance relationship work.

Secret #2: Don’t Go Overboard

What I mean by overboard is that you don’t want to focus too much on this relationship just because you’re far away from each other.

Sometimes we over-work and pay too much attention to a long-distance relationship. You really don’t need to spend any more time on it then you would if you were dating somebody just across town.

Be aware when your insecurities show up and complicate things, as well. (I’ll talk about this more in the next secret.)

For now, check in with yourself and with him to make sure that you aren’t being too focused on this relationship.

Secret #3: Tame Your Crazy

Insecurities can drive you nuts when you’re in a long distance relationship. When all you have is time to think and ruminate, sometimes we let our imaginations run wild.

We imagine scenarios of infidelity or losing the connection and our attachment. It stirs up a lot of childhood wounds and fears. This is why it’s a good idea to make sure you are working on yourself at the same time you’re working on any relationship.

long distance relationships secret to success How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

I recommend a counselor or therapist to help you get through some of your childhood issues. Because inevitably these will hold you back from having the kind of relationship you want.

If you’ve ever experienced extreme insecurity or fears or anxiety in a relationship, you know how disruptive and connection-breaking they can be.

If you know that you have a tendency to freak out within a relationship, you must get a grip on that right away. At the very least, maybe give him a warning that it might happen from time to time and all you need is some reassurance.

The more you can inoculate him, the more prepared he can be. And he will love you for it.

Secret #4: See This As A Blessing

You might be tempted to see a long-distance relationship as being a bit of a curse.

After all:

  • you’re far apart
  • you can’t see each other whenever you want
  • you long to touch each other
  • you spend a lot of time dreaming about possibilities

There are so many different reasons why you might think you are in an unfair situation.

But in reality, you actually have a blessed situation. You have to be able to see the bright side and the advantages of having a long-distance relationship.

After all, couples that see each other all the time very often don’t appreciate each other. And when you’re dating someone at a distance, you have the luxury of getting to know them better. You don’t have to rush into intimacy.

Just think about all the different reasons that it’s a blessing instead of a curse and you will instantly reframe yourself into happiness instead of misery.

Secret #5: Give It Structure

Every relationship requires some structure. The most important part of this structure is simply a schedule.

dating relationship advice making ldrs work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Have a schedule that you agree on that will help you navigate the lonely times. It’s good to set up your calls in advance.

You also want to make sure to schedule in some quality time as well as quantity time. Set up a two or three hour video call on the weekend when you can sit and really get to know each other. Have a video date.

Having a structure will ease your insecurities and anxieties. You’ll know when the next communication is happening, and you’ll be able to relax.

But you can also end up communicating a little too much. Let’s talk about that in the next secret  –

Secret #6: Watch Out For The Texting Monster

It’s easy to fall into texting as your default communication with him.

But be careful. You can very easily overdo it.

Men aren’t as excited about texting as women often are.

You also don’t want to fall into the trap of placing too much importance on communication that doesn’t carry any tone or emotion in it. (i.e., texting.)

Sure you got emoji’s, but the really important communication should always be face-to-face or voice to voice.

Secret #7: Fire It Up!

You gotta make things hot in your relationship.

When you’re dating somebody at a distance, you run the risk of not communicating enough emotions and intimacy.

ldr making them work dating advice tips How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There’s a lot of different ways you can do this, even when you’re in a long-distance relationship. I explain a lot of them in my program: Long Distance Love

But you want to make sure you are focused on keeping things spicy between you and him as much as possible. One of the greatest challenges is intimate connection over the miles between you.

I’ll explain more about how you can overcome this at the end of the article.

Secret #8: Dates Are Destiny

You’ve got to keep dating each other. Even if you’re in a relationship over distance, you still need to put the same kind of pattern of dating in a long distance relationship.

The more you can keep your relationship following the pattern of a close relationship the better.

You need those concentrated times to talk with each other. To connect.

Be careful about missing out on dates just because you think you have a completely different relationship. If anything, dates are even MORE important in a long-distance relationship.

Secret #9: Keep Visiting

Of course one of the most important parts of a long-distance relationship is the time you spend together in person. Obviously this is going to be less frequent than you might like, but you do have to make time to travel and see each other.

20 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

This is also a sign of devotion to the relationship you’re trying to build. Each of you should travel to the other at least a few times each year.

If you “settle” for a long distance relationship that never “gets it together” – it’s not likely to survive.

Make sure you are scheduling in trips to get together. You cannot create a relationship that will last if you don’t occasionally get to hold each other and connect in person.

Secret #10: Have A Plan

If there’s one thing that most couples miss, it’s that they need to have a goal for their relationship. If you’re dating someone locally, the goal is pretty obvious. You almost take it for granted.

Until you need to define the relationship.

But if you’re dating someone long distance, you should have some kind of plan figured out for the two of you.

The plan would include:

  • dates to travel and see each other
  • times to call each other each week
  • your different methods of connecting and communicating
  • a discussion about things that don’t work for you and what you want to avoid
  • an idea of what you would like the end result of your relationship to be – moving closer, engagement, marriage, etc.

This is something you should start working on after you have established that you both are going to really work at making this work.

Secret #11: Avoid The Mistakes

Most of success in life is simply avoiding the mistakes. And there are plenty of mistakes to make a long-distance relationship.

most common mistakes couples make in long distance relationships How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

It’s not about knowing if a long-distance relationship will work. It’s knowing how to make it work.

No one can tell you if this relationship is possible or not. You have to make it happen.

Part of that process is to find out where your potential landmines are and avoid them.

If you simply avoid the mistakes, you will probably succeed where most others would fail.

Secret #12: Beware the Naysayers

It’s also very important to watch out for people who shoot down your dream. A lot of people want to make you think they “know better” than you.

So watch out for people who don’t understand your relationship and situation who try to discourage you. While there are a lot of challenges to a long-distance relationship, there are challenges to any relationship.

It’s usually just a matter of choosing your challenge.

People too weak to follow their own dreams will find a way to discourage you from yours.

Secret #13: Don’t Fight The Separation

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you will find yourself apart more than you will be together. You have to come to terms with this.

Every bit as important is that you also don’t struggle or fight against this fact.

how to survive long distance relationships advice tips How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

You will have separation from time to time. If you try to change this, or you can’t accept this, you may find yourself acting out against it.

I was in a long-distance relationship where I fought the separation. I felt like we had to be together or else I couldn’t take it. This was my own insecurity talking.

As a result, I relocated halfway across the country to be with her.

We lasted about a month.

Now, if I hadn’t done this, the relationship may not have lasted anyway. But the point was that I needed to be patient with myself and our time apart. I rushed it.

Secret #14: Stay Time Sync’d

Another challenge of distance is that you may not be in the same time zone. It could be just a couple hours or it might be up to half a day.

You’ll want to stay in some kind of coordination with each other’s time zone. Know when he is getting up and when he is going to bed. And he should know the same about your schedule.

Not only this but you should also know what your calendars are like. What days you have certain activities, when you have free time, and so forth.

When your time is at least coordinated, you’ll have a feel for where the other person is during their day. This can lead to a feeling of more connection.

Secret #15: Send A Tchochke

Another good way to stay in contact with each other and connected is to send something physical to each other. It can be something as silly as a Rubik’s cube, or a keepsake item.

10 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Sending each other a physical object is a good way to create a feeling of reality in your relationship. Because so much of it is imagined, you might run the risk of wondering if you really even have a relationship.

Sending something to each other can make a huge difference in your feelings of connection.

Secret #16: Use the Snail

And while you’re at it, using snail mail – otherwise known as the U.S. Postal Service – is another great way to stay in contact. You can send anything from books to keepsakes to food (if you’re close enough).

Maybe even sending articles of clothing with perfume on them might spark some fantasies from him!

Secret #17: Be careful – don’t smother!

One of the most important tips I can share is that you want to avoid being “too THERE” with him.

What I mean by this is that you don’t want to smother him with your attention. Men need space to breathe in a relationship, the same way you do.

Again, if you are having a long-distance relationship it will be tempting to nurture it too much – or pay too much attention to it.

Don’t treat your situation as fragile. Every relationship will have its stress, and it’s that stress that shows you how to grow together and strengthens your love.

Secret #18: Watch out for social media

You may be tempted to connect more often on social media as well. This can be dangerous. (It’s even dangerous for couples that are not in a long-distance relationship.)

how to make long distance relationships work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

You may find yourself looking for hints or clues or letting the fear of missing out (FOMO) influence how you communicate with him. It can be a very ugly spiral of insecurity.

Be aware of how much time you spend checking up on him on Facebook or other social media. Stop yourself if you find you’re doing it out of compulsive emotions.

There is a right way and a wrong way to use social media in a long-distance relationship. This is also something that I explain how to handle in my master class: Long Distance Love

Secret #19: Fill In the Blanks

Don’t forget to keep each other aware of what’s going on with your families and friends.

If you are together in the same location, you would be talking about this stuff anyways. So don’t neglect talking about your everyday family life as part of your conversations on Skype or even your occasional email.

Knowing what’s happening in each other’s lives will give you a sense of relationship that is more real to you.

Secret #20: Know what to do – and when

You may have noticed by now that most of the things that will help you in your long distance relationship will not always be texting or social media or even using a computer.

how to make a long distance relationship work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There is a right time and the right place for each strategy in a long-distance relationship. If you wing it and just improvise, chances are it won’t work right.

Everything I’ve told you here works, but you also need to know WHEN to use it effectively.

Timing is extremely important.

And even more important is knowing how to fix a mistake when you make it.

If you don’t know the plan – the roadmap – for a successful long distance relationship, it’s unlikely you’ll figure it out “by accident.”

In fact, the only accident likely to happen is the end of your relationship.

I have a plan for you, a simple map for how to make your long distance relationship work.

And it’s available now for a limited time.

Go find out more HERE…

GroupImage How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Is Your Boyfriend Violent? | Loveawake.com blog

Being in a relationship is fulfilling, but it can also be scary, most especially if your boyfriend is suddenly acting strange and violent. Though you may have dropped hints to your family and friends about his sudden change of behavior, they just do not want to believe you. However, since you already know his behavior and you want nothing else to do with him, what must you do? You fear him and you fear what he can do to you if you break up with him. Thus, the only solution to your problem is to seek legal help and even go to the extremes of filing for a restraining order.

Is He Really Violent?

The main problem women have is accepting the fact that their boyfriend is indeed violent. Some may even try to make excuses for his behavior. However, how long must you wait? Do you want to end up beaten black and blue? Do you want a family member or a friend hurt? Here are some scenarios that can help you determine if your boyfriend is violent.

  • Calls you names and constantly insults you and your efforts
  • Destroys and steals your property
  • He threatens you verbally and physically, sometimes using weapons
  • Shows a dangerous jealous and possessive behavior that prevents you from spending time with friends
  • Constantly tells you what to do and gives out orders
  • Pressures you to have sex with him despite your objections
  • He has a history of bad relationships where the girlfriend always breaks up with him and moves far away
  • He makes all the decisions and rejects your opinions
  • Abuses drugs and alcohol outside and inside the house with friends, even if you are there
  • He has a strong belief that men must be in control of their relationships and that women must submit to their partners in everything.

Why Is He Vlent?

A man can become violent for many reasons. In many cases his behavior is a result of past experiences that have affected him terribly. Often, it is caused by drug abuse and excessive drinking. Some men grew up in families where the father dominated his family and usually hurt his wife in front of the children, or where children were consistently beaten by their father as a form of discipline. Whatever your boyfriend’s reason may be, he does not have the right to hurt you in any way. This is why you must always look out for early signs of violence in your relationship and once you detect it, try to save your relationship. If things have gotten worse, seek help from the police and a reliable lawyer.

Think About The Possibilities

It can be hard to admit that your boyfriend is violent. Sometimes there are already evidence of his violent behavior that you chose to overlook because of your love for him. But if the signs become actions, then you better watch out. He may even have a mother or a sister who is constantly ringing you up to check on you and query about your relationship. He may have friends to stop by to check up on both of you. He may say that he had been falsely accused and jailed for inflicting injury on his ex-girlfriend and recently released because of bail. Don’t allow him to fool you. Pack your things and move out. You do not want to end up like the women in his past relationships that he may have harmed.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.

5 Sincere Ways To Say ‘I’m Sorry’

You’ve had an argument with your spouse or partner and you are in the wrong. You personally do feel it may be your fault, but you also have plenty of reasons why you did what you did. Maybe you feel that the things you said your partner needed to hear and you had well intentions. Now the relationship is at a breach and it needs some repair. You know if you don’t apologize there is going to be a silence act and some nasty words that may come back up. So, why not fess up and just apologize to restore what it is you had before?

The bottom line is that it’s not really all about who was right and who was wrong. You probably both have things to apologize for. You want your partner to know you mean you’re sorry when you apologize and it should be a heartfelt one. No one really enjoys the act of apologizing. So there are some really good sincere ways to say you’re sorry and really mean it.

Be Prepared – First, be prepared with what you are going to say to your partner and never rush the apology! Think it through very well and have a game plan for what you intend to say. You need to word things in a way that your partner feels you put a lot of time and energy and thought into apologizing. Make them see that you are truly sorry.

Be Sincere – Apologize with true sincerity. Realize the things that you did wrong or said wrong and confess those to your partner. Speak about what you feel wrong for doing to your partner and tell them that you feel more relieved by wiping the slate clean and that you want all the negative feelings to go away. Look your partner in the eye and hold their hands when you apologize. Show complete attention and sincerity.

But – Never ever use the word “but” when you apologize. This is the way you put blame on someone else and you want your apology to be all about you. Use the word “I” instead and never say what your partner did or how they may have been wrong. Let this apology be about you completely and what your faults were without any “but” to it.

Don’t Argue – If you’re trying to apologize and your partner does not accept it right away, don’t get upset, angry or argue about it at all. The apology is going to be worthless if you get into another confrontation. Let them have time to let your apology sink in and know that you did the right thing.

Changes – When you given this apology, always think about what you’re saying and what you’re trying to change. Try your best to focus on what happened and don’t let that happen again. What you want your partner to see is that you truly care enough to not make the same mistake again. Try to be true to your word and let those actions speak loudly next time.

Apologizing is not always easy and may not be very fun, but it’s a positive step in repairing relationships and it helps to heal the heart.

How To Break Up With The Girlfriend From Hell

Editor’s note: while this post is about and for girls and women, I liked the humorous scope of this article. Ladies, let’s read this one and learn what not to do to be a girlfriend from hell

At first you thought she was sweet. She does everything for you; she sees to it that you’re always happy; and she’s always there for you. Then she became too possessive. She can’t function well if you’re not around, and she has to know where you are all the time. If you don’t’ call her every 30 minutes, she’ll call you. She’ll even call your mates just to know where you are. Your sweet girlfriend became the girlfriend from hell, and you want out of the relationship.

Collect your things and get them out.

This is sneaky, but you have to begin collecting all your things and get them out of her apartment. Do this days before you intend to break up with her, but do this subtly. You don’t want her to catch on to your plan and destroy your things, and you also don’t want her to make you jump through hoops just to get your things back.

Collect her things and bring them to her.

If she has things in your apartment, then start gathering them as well. Give her her things on the day of the breakup, so she won’t have any reasons to drop by your place and pack her belongings. Be sure that you placed everything she owns in the box, or else she’ll be visiting you every chance she gets. You don’t want her stalking you.

Of note though; if she knows the passwords to all your online accounts, then be sure to change them before you break up with her. You don’t want her messing with your accounts the moment she gets home. Not only could she ruin you online, but she could also stalk and harass you online.

Let your friends know that you’re breaking up with her and break up with her in public.

If your girlfriend has anger management issues and tends to go ballistic over little things, then it’s best that you let your friends know of your intention of breaking up with her. Ask them to be at the breakup place, but make sure that she doesn’t see them. Furthermore, break up with her in a public place, at a café perhaps or at the park where there are lots of people around. You need to have people around you in case she goes ballistic. They can verify that she was the one who lost it, not the other way around. This is important if you think she’s going to manipulate the legal system to hurt you.

Don’t’ be afraid to tell people, too, if she’s harassing and stalking you. If she won’t stop, then file a complaint against her.

Remember, there are “girlfriends from hell” who’ll accuse their ex-boyfriends of rape just so they could get back at them, hurt them, or simply gain their attention. If you find yourself the recipient of a rape charge and the police came to arrest you, then get yourself a good attorney who can defend you in court. Post bail or have someone call a bail bond agent for you so you can get out of jail. More importantly, work with your lawyer. A rape charge, even if you know you’re innocent, is a serious matter, so do everything that you can to clear your name.

Why Being A Crazy Stalker Is A Bad Tactic To Getting Your Love Back

Everyday someone is going through a breakup or thinking about an ex love that they lost. And everyday someone does something so stupid trying to get their ex back that it instead drives them farther away instead of closer to them.


Sometimes a break up is for a good reason and reconciliation should not even be attempted but sometimes the breakup is over a misunderstanding or a petty issue that quickly seems like the stupid thing it is shortly after the break up. So how do you fix the problem and get back together?


Well your mind should be thinking about what to avoid doing before it thinks about anything else because the first things we think of doing are acting on our instincts.


Acting on our instincts can be a good thing for many situations like when we run away from danger or duck to avoid getting hit by a flying object but trying to get an ex back is not one of those times that our instincts are going to help us.


One of our first instincts is to see what the other person is doing at every minute of every day. But if you think you feel like a crazy stalker imagine what your ex is thinking.


Stalking your ex doesn’t’ do you any good. In fact it can make you more miserable trying to figure out why they are hanging out with a certain person or why they said what they said.


In this day and age we don’t just have the option of hiding behind bushes and following them on their travels. Now we have the Internet to help us keep tabs on them while we can’t be there to watch them. We watch what their statuses say.


We scrutinize their pictures to figure out exactly what’s going on in them. We even watch what their friends are doing to see if there’s a clue to what our ex is doing. So now we are not only stalking our ex we are stalking their friends!


Not only does questioning what they are doing drive you nuts but it makes you want to act on other instincts like calling them all the time to let them know what you are thinking.


When you are continuously phoning and crying or yelling, you’re coming off as desperate and no one wants back a desperate ex. You look weak and your ex has a power over you because you have nothing to offer them while they seem to have everything to offer you.


It does not create the right frame of mind for them to want to get back together in the relationship and it pushes them away farther than they already were.


If you want to win someone you love back then you have to be patient, you do not want to be too anxious. The reason this is so hard to do is because you are used to being together all the time and being able to talk all the time.


It’s extremely hard to deal with when you abruptly don’t have that connection anymore and it can easily turn into desperate calling and harassing. As hard as it is you have to stay calm and not give into the thoughts that you have to know what they are doing at every moment of the day.


You need to get yourself on equal playing ground with them so that you both see each other through the same eyes.


After the breakup you need to try to keep yourself active with your friends, family, and activities you like doing. This helps keep your mind off your ex and also helps you avoid the enticement to call or contact them.


Getting together with one person is okay but getting together with a large group of friends is an even better idea. The larger group dynamic means more activity going on around you which helps with distraction of your thoughts and improves your mood. No one in a big group wants to sit around and talk about your ex. They would rather just have a good time and your mentality will be drawn to that.


Now imagine if your ex sees you out with your group of friends.


They will see you smiling and having a good time with other people, and no matter how or why your relationship ended they are going to be drawn to want to talk to the non crazy person that you are.


Seeing you smile and laugh will remind your ex of the good times you had together and if the split was over something silly they will want those good times back.


Think of how much more effective this approach is to getting them to talk to you in a normal conversation mode rather than a stalker, psychotic, crazy mode.


Then you can begin to talk about what it was that broke you up in the first place and see each other in a calmer and different light.

Getting Advice From A Love Consultant?

So you think you are too old and washed up to find love? Take it from me, there is no such thing and I should know given my occupation as a ‘love consultant’. I work for one of those dating companies that plays match maker.

Basically I and my colleagues enhance your chances of finding love which I am sure you could do if you were committed enough to the task and had the time, however few people do these day which is why my profession exists.

The first thing I do when I meet people who say they come to me in search of love is ask them a couple of simple questions. Their answers help me in my task and enable me to determine if it is love they are really in search of:

  1. What does Mr or Ms “Right” look like to you? It is fine if they reply with a list of physical attributes that they find attractive, however if the list resembles a catalog rather than a couple of points and they are essential requirements not guidelines with no flexibility we can safely assume they are not looking for love rather a partner to satisfy their ego. I can help in this department, but cannot guarantee the relationship will last as long as the average celebrity marriage. If you are truly looking for love I advise you to keep a very open mind in the aesthetic department.
  2. What is your idea of the “ideal relationship”? If they describe something resembling companionship and trust then they indeed may have a chance of finding happiness along with love. Many however describe a situation where they are doted on from morning till night, constantly told how much they are loved and given gifts to prove to all and sundry the extent of the affection.

From oodles of experience I can safely say no amount of the aforementioned attention is going to be enough – the relationship is ultimately doomed for failure, or at the very least one or both parties will most likely find themselves constantly comparing their relationship with those around them and questioning whether or not there is someone out there more suited.

If you are the type to find yourself thinking “the girl in the office down the hall gets flowers from her boyfriend twice a month so he must really love her” then you better take a look at what you are calling “love”.

If you are looking for someone who you are just happy sitting next to while you both read the newspaper on a Sunday morning knowing they are happy and content also then there is a high chance you are going to be a winner in the love stakes long term.

So no matter how unsuccessful you have been in the past of finding love there are many professionals that will be only too happy to help you out. However, before you start your quest the questions above are worth pondering to determine if it is love you are really looking for or someone to pander to your ego. If you find it is the former I encourage you to persevere in your pursuit of love as my experience has proven time and again love is everywhere you just need to be open to the possibilities whatever shape or form they might take!