Rules of Safety Online for Everyone: from LGBT to Traditional Couples


Dating online has become quite the oasis for LGBT people and straight people as well. Finding matches online is safe, fun, and imaginative. Unfortunately, that does not mean that it is a means of finding partners that comes without problems. Before you decide to meet gay guys online, check below a few easy things you can do that make using dating sites a little safer.

  1. How to find out the profile of your companion is fake?

First off, you need to watch out for people that using a fake profile. People make fake profiles on dating sites for many reasons, and none of them are good for you. At the very best, some people use dating profiles with embellished information on them to increase their chances of finding love. Otherwise, they may be looking to harm you or steal your money and information. Finding fake profiles is a matter of looking carefully for:

  • Suspicious behavior (won’t show their face in a video chat or pictures)
  • Using pictures from others’ profile (use a reverse search to check)
  • Lacking information on their dating profile

Many other ways exist to determine if someone is using a fake profile. Be safe by trusting your instincts if something seems too good to be true.

  1. How to keep your personal information safe using technology

The best way to keep your information secure when using a dating site is by using a reputable service. The greatest dating sites have encryption and heavy security throughout the site that will maintain your information security. Even when you are using a safe forum for online dating, you still need to be wary about what you are putting on the internet. Do not share your address with someone you do not know and trust; the same goes for personal identification information.

  1. If you go on a date, choose a public setting

The time will come when you want to hang out with your new partner to test your overall compatibility. When that time comes, you should always choose a very public location for the date. As sad as it may seem, being in a public place is a safety factor that allows you to lower the chances of you being attacked by a malevolent date or other people. Every LGBT person has felt angry eyes on them before, so be safe.

  1. Share your location with a friend

If you are out with someone and thinking about going home with someone or trying a different place to eat, share your location with a friend. Someone has to know where you are and when you are expected to come home at all times. That is the only way for someone other than yourself to know if you happen to find yourself in a bad situation. Use any of the available apps today to share your location directly from your phone.

  1. Go with your gut

Your brain can pick up on subtle clues that something is not right. Maybe people are looking at you and your date a little too intently. Perhaps your date is insisting that you go with them somewhere. If you feel like something is wrong, the chances are that it’s wrong. As such, trust your gut to get you out of bad situations, and do not be afraid to make a scene.

Online dating is supposed to be fun and safe for everyone. In fact, it is a very effective form of romance for LGBT people. That does not mean you should let down your guard entirely, though. Use the rules we have outlined here, and you will stand a much better chance of staying safe.

How to Break up With Someone Nicely. 5 Tips From Professionals


Regardless of the grounds, a breakup is a difficult stage of life that always leaves a trace. If you firmly resolve to quit your relationship, check out tips from psychologists that will help you both go through the breakup stage in less pain. 

1. Choose the right moment

It is difficult to pick the right time to make such an announcement. The feel of failure, regrets about your mutual past, and hard feelings will chase you both for some time. If it is you who initiates the breakup your partner might go through a considerable decrease in self-esteem level as well. 

The best thing you can do when choosing the right moment is to voice-over your intention to end relationships is to make sure there are no family reunions, anniversaries, holidays, or other important events at this point. Think ahead about what to say or write down all the things you want to mention during the conversation.

2. Visit a psychologist 

You might think there is no need to work on relationships when it is almost over, however,  we believe that it is more reasonable to go for an experienced qualified specialist’s help when having hard times. A psychologist will help you to end romantic relationships in a friendly and not to treat each other hostilely. 

A specialist will help you both to listen to each other’s opinions. A psychologist allows you to view the situation from a wider perspective and realize there is no right or wrong but different points of view that deserve respect and understanding.

By the way if you think there is a chance to save your relationship you may need a guide on how to make your partner forgive you.

3. Keep your eye on the future

Some people want to stay friends after a breakup. However, feelings of jealousy and animosity can make this task impossible to achieve. You know your partner well so think ahead of his/her reaction and balance probabilities of different scenarios.

Of course, if you have joint children then you will have to keep in touch from time to time. That is why we believe psychologist help is needed as the end of love doesn’t always mean the end of relationships. Make sure you resolve all the issues as peacefully as possible. 

4. Do not be greedy

If you have a joint property you both need to make lists of what would you like to keep. For instance, if something belongs to your family and it is important for you then you should tell about your intention to keep it for yourself straight away. 

Some things are not that precious though but make a partner sentimental. You should be generous and let your ex take all those things that seem important to your partner. Being generous can help to break up nicely. 

5. Take your time 

We can’t say exactly how long it will take to get over a breakup. Different people react differently to such a change in their lives. Some need a week to feel fine again when some need years to feel a complete person again. It is especially problematic when a long divorce proceeding takes place. It is okay to feel a bit empty once a relationship is over. Take your time and focus on yourself before you start dating someone else. 

You need to realize all the reasons for this breakup as it will help you to go through this time much more smoothly and to keep faith in love. 

Now when you know how to end a relationship let’s talk through things you need to do after a breakup:

  • Live. You may feel good or bad after a breakup but you are alive. You don’t disappear when someone leaves your life. You still have your life, job, kids, pets, relatives, lots of interesting and necessary things to do. If you hurt then live through this feeling as well as you don’t want to numb your emotions and get new psychological traumas. 
  • Let yourself be stupid. It is okay to be illogical after a breakup. You might want to get drunk, meet your ex and get a ridiculous haircut. Don’t put much pressure on yourself and let things you want to happen even if it seems stupid to you or someone else. 
  • Organize your life. Breakup means freedom. Use your time to make your life better, organize schedules, make and complete to-do lists. This is the time for you and you can fill your life with activities that you like without worrying about your partner’s comfort.
  • No one is irreplaceable. Sometimes a breakup makes you feel like you lost the opportunity to build cohabitation with someone special. Especially if you break up with someone you love. You need to remember, there was life before your relationships and it will get back to normal soon. Even though these relationships are the best that has happened to you at the moment but not the only thing that you will have in your life, that’s for sure. 
  • Keep hoping. Hope for new love, opportunities, meetings, trips, career boost. Faith in the future is a foundation of a successful recovery.  

Breakup is a difficult task that is depleting both physically and mentally. It is especially hard when the feeling of guilt is involved. Remember, you are not a bad person. Your happiness must be a priority so you shouldn’t keep dating someone because of a pang of guilt. 

As you can see, there are lots of ways to break up nicely. You need to bear in mind your partner’s peculiarities and be honest during this challenging conversation. Honesty and appreciation can help you both to get through this time with dignity and to preserve cordial relations with someone you value and respect. 

Bio

Oleg Kobets is an experienced blogger and relationship expert. He holds degrees in Sociology and Psychology and is happy to share his theoretical and practical experience.

* All images are downloaded from my Envato Elements Premium account and I am authorized to use them.

How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work


A long-distance relationship can be one of the most challenging situations for dating. If you want to know how to make a long distance relationship work you gotta know what most women don’t know!

secrets to successful long distance relationships How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There are a lot of barriers to keeping a long distance relationship healthy. A lot of people don’t believe that long-distance relationships can work.

The truth is that long-distance relationships can work just as well is a regular relationship. And with so many people working from home and from far away, it’s more likely that your next relationship will be a long distance relationship.

As I like to say, any relationship can work – IF you MAKE it work.

One of the best rewards of a long-distance relationship is that you really can’t take your partner for granted. You wait so long just to see them and hold them, that you appreciate them much more.

I recently put together a master class program to help any woman make a long-distance relationship work with a man.

In celebration, I want to share a few tips with you that can help you make your relationship with him work no matter how far away from him you are.

First of all what is a long-distance relationship?

It’s really any relationship where you are more than a couple hours from your partner. Where you have a significant time or distance barrier to getting together.

When I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area, I dated a few women who were close to San Jose. While those two cities are not terribly far apart, Bay Area traffic made the distance pretty huge. Sometimes it would take a couple hours to get there.

So take a look at your situation and consider that if it is inconvenient to get together, or you are unable to get together more than once per week, you may have a long distance relationship.

Let’s share some secrets about making a long-distance relationship work…

Secret #1: Believe It Can Work

It may be hard to believe your relationship can work. You may have tried a long-distance relationship in the past and had it fail.

On the other hand, you may have tried and come close to succeeding.

The very first step has to be to generate your faith in this relationship.

20 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Of course your belief won’t guarantee it will succeed. But if you don’t have faith in the relationship it will be very hard to make things work.

If you have reasons that you’re scared or insecure about the relationship, you should take some time to write those reasons down. Journaling is an excellent way to exorcise your fears.

And also check in with him. Make sure he has faith in the relationship as well.

If you have the right tools and the right skills, it’s actually not difficult to make a long-distance relationship work.

Secret #2: Don’t Go Overboard

What I mean by overboard is that you don’t want to focus too much on this relationship just because you’re far away from each other.

Sometimes we over-work and pay too much attention to a long-distance relationship. You really don’t need to spend any more time on it then you would if you were dating somebody just across town.

Be aware when your insecurities show up and complicate things, as well. (I’ll talk about this more in the next secret.)

For now, check in with yourself and with him to make sure that you aren’t being too focused on this relationship.

Secret #3: Tame Your Crazy

Insecurities can drive you nuts when you’re in a long distance relationship. When all you have is time to think and ruminate, sometimes we let our imaginations run wild.

We imagine scenarios of infidelity or losing the connection and our attachment. It stirs up a lot of childhood wounds and fears. This is why it’s a good idea to make sure you are working on yourself at the same time you’re working on any relationship.

long distance relationships secret to success How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

I recommend a counselor or therapist to help you get through some of your childhood issues. Because inevitably these will hold you back from having the kind of relationship you want.

If you’ve ever experienced extreme insecurity or fears or anxiety in a relationship, you know how disruptive and connection-breaking they can be.

If you know that you have a tendency to freak out within a relationship, you must get a grip on that right away. At the very least, maybe give him a warning that it might happen from time to time and all you need is some reassurance.

The more you can inoculate him, the more prepared he can be. And he will love you for it.

Secret #4: See This As A Blessing

You might be tempted to see a long-distance relationship as being a bit of a curse.

After all:

  • you’re far apart
  • you can’t see each other whenever you want
  • you long to touch each other
  • you spend a lot of time dreaming about possibilities

There are so many different reasons why you might think you are in an unfair situation.

But in reality, you actually have a blessed situation. You have to be able to see the bright side and the advantages of having a long-distance relationship.

After all, couples that see each other all the time very often don’t appreciate each other. And when you’re dating someone at a distance, you have the luxury of getting to know them better. You don’t have to rush into intimacy.

Just think about all the different reasons that it’s a blessing instead of a curse and you will instantly reframe yourself into happiness instead of misery.

Secret #5: Give It Structure

Every relationship requires some structure. The most important part of this structure is simply a schedule.

dating relationship advice making ldrs work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Have a schedule that you agree on that will help you navigate the lonely times. It’s good to set up your calls in advance.

You also want to make sure to schedule in some quality time as well as quantity time. Set up a two or three hour video call on the weekend when you can sit and really get to know each other. Have a video date.

Having a structure will ease your insecurities and anxieties. You’ll know when the next communication is happening, and you’ll be able to relax.

But you can also end up communicating a little too much. Let’s talk about that in the next secret  –

Secret #6: Watch Out For The Texting Monster

It’s easy to fall into texting as your default communication with him.

But be careful. You can very easily overdo it.

Men aren’t as excited about texting as women often are.

You also don’t want to fall into the trap of placing too much importance on communication that doesn’t carry any tone or emotion in it. (i.e., texting.)

Sure you got emoji’s, but the really important communication should always be face-to-face or voice to voice.

Secret #7: Fire It Up!

You gotta make things hot in your relationship.

When you’re dating somebody at a distance, you run the risk of not communicating enough emotions and intimacy.

ldr making them work dating advice tips How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There’s a lot of different ways you can do this, even when you’re in a long-distance relationship. I explain a lot of them in my program: Long Distance Love

But you want to make sure you are focused on keeping things spicy between you and him as much as possible. One of the greatest challenges is intimate connection over the miles between you.

I’ll explain more about how you can overcome this at the end of the article.

Secret #8: Dates Are Destiny

You’ve got to keep dating each other. Even if you’re in a relationship over distance, you still need to put the same kind of pattern of dating in a long distance relationship.

The more you can keep your relationship following the pattern of a close relationship the better.

You need those concentrated times to talk with each other. To connect.

Be careful about missing out on dates just because you think you have a completely different relationship. If anything, dates are even MORE important in a long-distance relationship.

Secret #9: Keep Visiting

Of course one of the most important parts of a long-distance relationship is the time you spend together in person. Obviously this is going to be less frequent than you might like, but you do have to make time to travel and see each other.

20 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

This is also a sign of devotion to the relationship you’re trying to build. Each of you should travel to the other at least a few times each year.

If you “settle” for a long distance relationship that never “gets it together” – it’s not likely to survive.

Make sure you are scheduling in trips to get together. You cannot create a relationship that will last if you don’t occasionally get to hold each other and connect in person.

Secret #10: Have A Plan

If there’s one thing that most couples miss, it’s that they need to have a goal for their relationship. If you’re dating someone locally, the goal is pretty obvious. You almost take it for granted.

Until you need to define the relationship.

But if you’re dating someone long distance, you should have some kind of plan figured out for the two of you.

The plan would include:

  • dates to travel and see each other
  • times to call each other each week
  • your different methods of connecting and communicating
  • a discussion about things that don’t work for you and what you want to avoid
  • an idea of what you would like the end result of your relationship to be – moving closer, engagement, marriage, etc.

This is something you should start working on after you have established that you both are going to really work at making this work.

Secret #11: Avoid The Mistakes

Most of success in life is simply avoiding the mistakes. And there are plenty of mistakes to make a long-distance relationship.

most common mistakes couples make in long distance relationships How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

It’s not about knowing if a long-distance relationship will work. It’s knowing how to make it work.

No one can tell you if this relationship is possible or not. You have to make it happen.

Part of that process is to find out where your potential landmines are and avoid them.

If you simply avoid the mistakes, you will probably succeed where most others would fail.

Secret #12: Beware the Naysayers

It’s also very important to watch out for people who shoot down your dream. A lot of people want to make you think they “know better” than you.

So watch out for people who don’t understand your relationship and situation who try to discourage you. While there are a lot of challenges to a long-distance relationship, there are challenges to any relationship.

It’s usually just a matter of choosing your challenge.

People too weak to follow their own dreams will find a way to discourage you from yours.

Secret #13: Don’t Fight The Separation

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you will find yourself apart more than you will be together. You have to come to terms with this.

Every bit as important is that you also don’t struggle or fight against this fact.

how to survive long distance relationships advice tips How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

You will have separation from time to time. If you try to change this, or you can’t accept this, you may find yourself acting out against it.

I was in a long-distance relationship where I fought the separation. I felt like we had to be together or else I couldn’t take it. This was my own insecurity talking.

As a result, I relocated halfway across the country to be with her.

We lasted about a month.

Now, if I hadn’t done this, the relationship may not have lasted anyway. But the point was that I needed to be patient with myself and our time apart. I rushed it.

Secret #14: Stay Time Sync’d

Another challenge of distance is that you may not be in the same time zone. It could be just a couple hours or it might be up to half a day.

You’ll want to stay in some kind of coordination with each other’s time zone. Know when he is getting up and when he is going to bed. And he should know the same about your schedule.

Not only this but you should also know what your calendars are like. What days you have certain activities, when you have free time, and so forth.

When your time is at least coordinated, you’ll have a feel for where the other person is during their day. This can lead to a feeling of more connection.

Secret #15: Send A Tchochke

Another good way to stay in contact with each other and connected is to send something physical to each other. It can be something as silly as a Rubik’s cube, or a keepsake item.

10 How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Sending each other a physical object is a good way to create a feeling of reality in your relationship. Because so much of it is imagined, you might run the risk of wondering if you really even have a relationship.

Sending something to each other can make a huge difference in your feelings of connection.

Secret #16: Use the Snail

And while you’re at it, using snail mail – otherwise known as the U.S. Postal Service – is another great way to stay in contact. You can send anything from books to keepsakes to food (if you’re close enough).

Maybe even sending articles of clothing with perfume on them might spark some fantasies from him!

Secret #17: Be careful – don’t smother!

One of the most important tips I can share is that you want to avoid being “too THERE” with him.

What I mean by this is that you don’t want to smother him with your attention. Men need space to breathe in a relationship, the same way you do.

Again, if you are having a long-distance relationship it will be tempting to nurture it too much – or pay too much attention to it.

Don’t treat your situation as fragile. Every relationship will have its stress, and it’s that stress that shows you how to grow together and strengthens your love.

Secret #18: Watch out for social media

You may be tempted to connect more often on social media as well. This can be dangerous. (It’s even dangerous for couples that are not in a long-distance relationship.)

how to make long distance relationships work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

You may find yourself looking for hints or clues or letting the fear of missing out (FOMO) influence how you communicate with him. It can be a very ugly spiral of insecurity.

Be aware of how much time you spend checking up on him on Facebook or other social media. Stop yourself if you find you’re doing it out of compulsive emotions.

There is a right way and a wrong way to use social media in a long-distance relationship. This is also something that I explain how to handle in my master class: Long Distance Love

Secret #19: Fill In the Blanks

Don’t forget to keep each other aware of what’s going on with your families and friends.

If you are together in the same location, you would be talking about this stuff anyways. So don’t neglect talking about your everyday family life as part of your conversations on Skype or even your occasional email.

Knowing what’s happening in each other’s lives will give you a sense of relationship that is more real to you.

Secret #20: Know what to do – and when

You may have noticed by now that most of the things that will help you in your long distance relationship will not always be texting or social media or even using a computer.

how to make a long distance relationship work How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

There is a right time and the right place for each strategy in a long-distance relationship. If you wing it and just improvise, chances are it won’t work right.

Everything I’ve told you here works, but you also need to know WHEN to use it effectively.

Timing is extremely important.

And even more important is knowing how to fix a mistake when you make it.

If you don’t know the plan – the roadmap – for a successful long distance relationship, it’s unlikely you’ll figure it out “by accident.”

In fact, the only accident likely to happen is the end of your relationship.

I have a plan for you, a simple map for how to make your long distance relationship work.

And it’s available now for a limited time.

Go find out more HERE…

GroupImage How To Make A Long Distance Relationship Work   20 Secrets To Success

Is Your Boyfriend Violent? | Loveawake.com blog


Being in a relationship is fulfilling, but it can also be scary, most especially if your boyfriend is suddenly acting strange and violent. Though you may have dropped hints to your family and friends about his sudden change of behavior, they just do not want to believe you. However, since you already know his behavior and you want nothing else to do with him, what must you do? You fear him and you fear what he can do to you if you break up with him. Thus, the only solution to your problem is to seek legal help and even go to the extremes of filing for a restraining order.

Is He Really Violent?

The main problem women have is accepting the fact that their boyfriend is indeed violent. Some may even try to make excuses for his behavior. However, how long must you wait? Do you want to end up beaten black and blue? Do you want a family member or a friend hurt? Here are some scenarios that can help you determine if your boyfriend is violent.

  • Calls you names and constantly insults you and your efforts
  • Destroys and steals your property
  • He threatens you verbally and physically, sometimes using weapons
  • Shows a dangerous jealous and possessive behavior that prevents you from spending time with friends
  • Constantly tells you what to do and gives out orders
  • Pressures you to have sex with him despite your objections
  • He has a history of bad relationships where the girlfriend always breaks up with him and moves far away
  • He makes all the decisions and rejects your opinions
  • Abuses drugs and alcohol outside and inside the house with friends, even if you are there
  • He has a strong belief that men must be in control of their relationships and that women must submit to their partners in everything.

Why Is He Vlent?

A man can become violent for many reasons. In many cases his behavior is a result of past experiences that have affected him terribly. Often, it is caused by drug abuse and excessive drinking. Some men grew up in families where the father dominated his family and usually hurt his wife in front of the children, or where children were consistently beaten by their father as a form of discipline. Whatever your boyfriend’s reason may be, he does not have the right to hurt you in any way. This is why you must always look out for early signs of violence in your relationship and once you detect it, try to save your relationship. If things have gotten worse, seek help from the police and a reliable lawyer.

Think About The Possibilities

It can be hard to admit that your boyfriend is violent. Sometimes there are already evidence of his violent behavior that you chose to overlook because of your love for him. But if the signs become actions, then you better watch out. He may even have a mother or a sister who is constantly ringing you up to check on you and query about your relationship. He may have friends to stop by to check up on both of you. He may say that he had been falsely accused and jailed for inflicting injury on his ex-girlfriend and recently released because of bail. Don’t allow him to fool you. Pack your things and move out. You do not want to end up like the women in his past relationships that he may have harmed.

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Alex Wise served over 5 years as relationship expert helping women from around the world figure out the men in their love lives from an honest, male perspective. Alex is one of the contributors and editors for Loveawake.com dating website. He is passionate about thought leadership writing, and regularly contributes to various career, social media, public relations, branding, and online dating communities.

5 Sincere Ways To Say ‘I’m Sorry’


You’ve had an argument with your spouse or partner and you are in the wrong. You personally do feel it may be your fault, but you also have plenty of reasons why you did what you did. Maybe you feel that the things you said your partner needed to hear and you had well intentions. Now the relationship is at a breach and it needs some repair. You know if you don’t apologize there is going to be a silence act and some nasty words that may come back up. So, why not fess up and just apologize to restore what it is you had before?

The bottom line is that it’s not really all about who was right and who was wrong. You probably both have things to apologize for. You want your partner to know you mean you’re sorry when you apologize and it should be a heartfelt one. No one really enjoys the act of apologizing. So there are some really good sincere ways to say you’re sorry and really mean it.

Be Prepared – First, be prepared with what you are going to say to your partner and never rush the apology! Think it through very well and have a game plan for what you intend to say. You need to word things in a way that your partner feels you put a lot of time and energy and thought into apologizing. Make them see that you are truly sorry.

Be Sincere – Apologize with true sincerity. Realize the things that you did wrong or said wrong and confess those to your partner. Speak about what you feel wrong for doing to your partner and tell them that you feel more relieved by wiping the slate clean and that you want all the negative feelings to go away. Look your partner in the eye and hold their hands when you apologize. Show complete attention and sincerity.

But – Never ever use the word “but” when you apologize. This is the way you put blame on someone else and you want your apology to be all about you. Use the word “I” instead and never say what your partner did or how they may have been wrong. Let this apology be about you completely and what your faults were without any “but” to it.

Don’t Argue – If you’re trying to apologize and your partner does not accept it right away, don’t get upset, angry or argue about it at all. The apology is going to be worthless if you get into another confrontation. Let them have time to let your apology sink in and know that you did the right thing.

Changes – When you given this apology, always think about what you’re saying and what you’re trying to change. Try your best to focus on what happened and don’t let that happen again. What you want your partner to see is that you truly care enough to not make the same mistake again. Try to be true to your word and let those actions speak loudly next time.

Apologizing is not always easy and may not be very fun, but it’s a positive step in repairing relationships and it helps to heal the heart.

How To Break Up With The Girlfriend From Hell


Editor’s note: while this post is about and for girls and women, I liked the humorous scope of this article. Ladies, let’s read this one and learn what not to do to be a girlfriend from hell

At first you thought she was sweet. She does everything for you; she sees to it that you’re always happy; and she’s always there for you. Then she became too possessive. She can’t function well if you’re not around, and she has to know where you are all the time. If you don’t’ call her every 30 minutes, she’ll call you. She’ll even call your mates just to know where you are. Your sweet girlfriend became the girlfriend from hell, and you want out of the relationship.

Collect your things and get them out.

This is sneaky, but you have to begin collecting all your things and get them out of her apartment. Do this days before you intend to break up with her, but do this subtly. You don’t want her to catch on to your plan and destroy your things, and you also don’t want her to make you jump through hoops just to get your things back.

Collect her things and bring them to her.

If she has things in your apartment, then start gathering them as well. Give her her things on the day of the breakup, so she won’t have any reasons to drop by your place and pack her belongings. Be sure that you placed everything she owns in the box, or else she’ll be visiting you every chance she gets. You don’t want her stalking you.

Of note though; if she knows the passwords to all your online accounts, then be sure to change them before you break up with her. You don’t want her messing with your accounts the moment she gets home. Not only could she ruin you online, but she could also stalk and harass you online.

Let your friends know that you’re breaking up with her and break up with her in public.

If your girlfriend has anger management issues and tends to go ballistic over little things, then it’s best that you let your friends know of your intention of breaking up with her. Ask them to be at the breakup place, but make sure that she doesn’t see them. Furthermore, break up with her in a public place, at a café perhaps or at the park where there are lots of people around. You need to have people around you in case she goes ballistic. They can verify that she was the one who lost it, not the other way around. This is important if you think she’s going to manipulate the legal system to hurt you.

Don’t’ be afraid to tell people, too, if she’s harassing and stalking you. If she won’t stop, then file a complaint against her.

Remember, there are “girlfriends from hell” who’ll accuse their ex-boyfriends of rape just so they could get back at them, hurt them, or simply gain their attention. If you find yourself the recipient of a rape charge and the police came to arrest you, then get yourself a good attorney who can defend you in court. Post bail or have someone call a bail bond agent for you so you can get out of jail. More importantly, work with your lawyer. A rape charge, even if you know you’re innocent, is a serious matter, so do everything that you can to clear your name.

Why Being A Crazy Stalker Is A Bad Tactic To Getting Your Love Back


Everyday someone is going through a breakup or thinking about an ex love that they lost. And everyday someone does something so stupid trying to get their ex back that it instead drives them farther away instead of closer to them.

 

Sometimes a break up is for a good reason and reconciliation should not even be attempted but sometimes the breakup is over a misunderstanding or a petty issue that quickly seems like the stupid thing it is shortly after the break up. So how do you fix the problem and get back together?

 

Well your mind should be thinking about what to avoid doing before it thinks about anything else because the first things we think of doing are acting on our instincts.

 

Acting on our instincts can be a good thing for many situations like when we run away from danger or duck to avoid getting hit by a flying object but trying to get an ex back is not one of those times that our instincts are going to help us.

 

One of our first instincts is to see what the other person is doing at every minute of every day. But if you think you feel like a crazy stalker imagine what your ex is thinking.

 

Stalking your ex doesn’t’ do you any good. In fact it can make you more miserable trying to figure out why they are hanging out with a certain person or why they said what they said.

 

In this day and age we don’t just have the option of hiding behind bushes and following them on their travels. Now we have the Internet to help us keep tabs on them while we can’t be there to watch them. We watch what their statuses say.

 

We scrutinize their pictures to figure out exactly what’s going on in them. We even watch what their friends are doing to see if there’s a clue to what our ex is doing. So now we are not only stalking our ex we are stalking their friends!

 

Not only does questioning what they are doing drive you nuts but it makes you want to act on other instincts like calling them all the time to let them know what you are thinking.

 

When you are continuously phoning and crying or yelling, you’re coming off as desperate and no one wants back a desperate ex. You look weak and your ex has a power over you because you have nothing to offer them while they seem to have everything to offer you.

 

It does not create the right frame of mind for them to want to get back together in the relationship and it pushes them away farther than they already were.

 

If you want to win someone you love back then you have to be patient, you do not want to be too anxious. The reason this is so hard to do is because you are used to being together all the time and being able to talk all the time.

 

It’s extremely hard to deal with when you abruptly don’t have that connection anymore and it can easily turn into desperate calling and harassing. As hard as it is you have to stay calm and not give into the thoughts that you have to know what they are doing at every moment of the day.

 

You need to get yourself on equal playing ground with them so that you both see each other through the same eyes.

 

After the breakup you need to try to keep yourself active with your friends, family, and activities you like doing. This helps keep your mind off your ex and also helps you avoid the enticement to call or contact them.

 

Getting together with one person is okay but getting together with a large group of friends is an even better idea. The larger group dynamic means more activity going on around you which helps with distraction of your thoughts and improves your mood. No one in a big group wants to sit around and talk about your ex. They would rather just have a good time and your mentality will be drawn to that.

 

Now imagine if your ex sees you out with your group of friends.

 

They will see you smiling and having a good time with other people, and no matter how or why your relationship ended they are going to be drawn to want to talk to the non crazy person that you are.

 

Seeing you smile and laugh will remind your ex of the good times you had together and if the split was over something silly they will want those good times back.

 

Think of how much more effective this approach is to getting them to talk to you in a normal conversation mode rather than a stalker, psychotic, crazy mode.

 

Then you can begin to talk about what it was that broke you up in the first place and see each other in a calmer and different light.

Getting Advice From A Love Consultant?


So you think you are too old and washed up to find love? Take it from me, there is no such thing and I should know given my occupation as a ‘love consultant’. I work for one of those dating companies that plays match maker.

Basically I and my colleagues enhance your chances of finding love which I am sure you could do if you were committed enough to the task and had the time, however few people do these day which is why my profession exists.

The first thing I do when I meet people who say they come to me in search of love is ask them a couple of simple questions. Their answers help me in my task and enable me to determine if it is love they are really in search of:

  1. What does Mr or Ms “Right” look like to you? It is fine if they reply with a list of physical attributes that they find attractive, however if the list resembles a catalog rather than a couple of points and they are essential requirements not guidelines with no flexibility we can safely assume they are not looking for love rather a partner to satisfy their ego. I can help in this department, but cannot guarantee the relationship will last as long as the average celebrity marriage. If you are truly looking for love I advise you to keep a very open mind in the aesthetic department.
  2. What is your idea of the “ideal relationship”? If they describe something resembling companionship and trust then they indeed may have a chance of finding happiness along with love. Many however describe a situation where they are doted on from morning till night, constantly told how much they are loved and given gifts to prove to all and sundry the extent of the affection.

From oodles of experience I can safely say no amount of the aforementioned attention is going to be enough – the relationship is ultimately doomed for failure, or at the very least one or both parties will most likely find themselves constantly comparing their relationship with those around them and questioning whether or not there is someone out there more suited.

If you are the type to find yourself thinking “the girl in the office down the hall gets flowers from her boyfriend twice a month so he must really love her” then you better take a look at what you are calling “love”.

If you are looking for someone who you are just happy sitting next to while you both read the newspaper on a Sunday morning knowing they are happy and content also then there is a high chance you are going to be a winner in the love stakes long term.

So no matter how unsuccessful you have been in the past of finding love there are many professionals that will be only too happy to help you out. However, before you start your quest the questions above are worth pondering to determine if it is love you are really looking for or someone to pander to your ego. If you find it is the former I encourage you to persevere in your pursuit of love as my experience has proven time and again love is everywhere you just need to be open to the possibilities whatever shape or form they might take!

6 Tips To Help You Zap A Zit Before A Big Date


There’s nothing more exciting than preparing for a big first date, but there’s nothing more depressing than finding a zit on the tip of your nose. Why now? The timing couldn’t be worse! You’re probably tempted to rack your brain for excuses to get out of the date, but that’s never a good solution.

On the other hand, you’re overwhelmed with a sense of dread at the thought of sitting through an entire date with a huge visible pimple. It’s a no-win situation, unless you know how to handle it properly. Here are some tips to deal with your acne so that you can enjoy your date worry-free.

Ice It

One of the reasons why your pimple is so red is inner inflammation. Just like with any other part of your body, a bit of ice can help to calm things down. Wrap an ice cube with some tissue and gently apply it next to your skin. Just make sure that you don’t do it right before your date because the ice will make it more noticeable for the next little while.

Wash Carefully

A lot of people make the big mistake of washing the area profusely in hopes of getting rid of pimples quickly. But once a pimple has already formed, no amount of washing is going to get rid of it on the spot. Regular washing only comes in handy for preventing future outbreaks. While you should still keep the area clean, don’t be tempted to scrub the problem away because it won’t work.

Should You Pop It?

Now it’s time to face the biggest question of all, should you just pop the zit? Let’s establish right off the bat that popping is generally not a good idea. It’s only a temporary solution, and it can provoke future outbreaks or even lead to scarring if you do it too much. But we’re talking about an emergency situation here so you have to weigh the pros and cons.

As long as you understand the consequences, there might be some situations where you choose to pop your zit before a big event. If you’re going to do it, make sure the process is as hygienic as possible. Clean your hands and try to do it as gently as you can to prevent the spread of bacteria.

The Zeno Device

This is a handy little handheld device that offers a great alternative to popping your pimples. It doesn’t involve breaking the surface of your skin because it delivers heat right to the center of your pimple. All you have to do is use it for 2-minute bursts 3 times a day, and you should see an improvement the next day.

Acne Cream

Just like washing, acne creams don’t really work on the pimples you already have. But when applied properly, they can help to kill bacteria living inside. Just make sure not to use them o liberally because they tend to dry skin and make matters worse. It’s far better to find a gentle product you can use regularly for a preventative approach.

Time To Conceal

If you’ve taken these steps and you’ve still got a noticeable blemishes, then it’s time to cover it up! There are lots of great acne concealers you can apply to hide the situation underneath. One of the best comes from Murad if you want something that has a bit of extra medicine to calm your pimple down. There are also other options from Neutrogena, and of course you can use regular mineral makeup as well. When applying your concealer or foundation, make sure to do it evenly without going overboard because otherwise it can clog your pores even more.

Always ensure you use great care when dealing with your acne. Your actions today can have consequences down the line, and you don’t want to inadvertently aggravate your skin. Of course the best way to deal with pimples is to prevent them, and that means taking a comprehensive approach with good daily healthy habits.

8 Characteristics Of An Irresistible Woman


Do you want your man to find you irresistible?  Of course you do.  Who doesn’t?!  However, many women use the wrong approach when trying to lure their man in.  And far too often, a woman is unable to keep the interest of a man because she fixates on the wrong things in the relationship.

Women, you need to focus on getting men to be attracted to you, not your looks.  You want them to find you psychologically and emotionally irresistible.

You may be surprised at what turns a guy off; it’s not what you thought it was!  The irresistible woman has these characteristics:

1.  Not Overly Serious

Guys do stupid things all the time. They can be unaffectionate, distant, and emotionally hurtful.  How are you going to react? Are you going to let your emotions control your actions? Will you go into panic mode and stress about the future of your relationship every single time he acts like an idiot? Will you nag him to death about why he is doing what he is doing? Will you find hidden messages in everything he says (or doesn’t say)?  If so, you are asking for trouble.

Don’t lose the light-heartedness that originally drew him in. Your guy will appreciate that you don’t go into “where is this relationship headed” mode every time there is a bump in the road.

2.  Young At Heart

Men are interested in women who are young and pretty.  However, that doesn’t mean what you think it does.  Men want women who have a youthful attitude, not appearance.

What is your internal energy like?  Are you burned out from obligations of the world?  If so, you need to make a change ASAP.  It’s one thing to be responsible; it’s another thing entirely to let responsibility define who you are.  Who do you think men find more attractive – the 20-year-old who acts like she is 40 or the 40-year-old who acts like she is 20?

3.  Inviting Body Language

According to behavioral psychologists:

  • Body language accounts for 55% of all communication
  • Vocal tonality accounts for 38% of all communication
  • Words account for 7% of all communication

Take a moment and let those numbers sink in.  Sure, your tongue can be a dangerous and seductive instrument.  However, your smile and best come-hither stance is what will draw him in.  After all, he won’t be able to hear what you say to him from across the room.  The way you bounce your leg while seated at the bar, however…

4.  Patient

Solitude

Impatience turns into unnecessary frustration and emotional aggression when things don’t happen fast enough. Relax. Go with the flow! Your man does. Why can’t you?

5.  Maintains Her Appearance

While men will readily admit that it is superficial, they do care about a woman’s appearance. Things like healthy hair, good looking skin, flattering makeup, and a healthy weight are things guys take into consideration.

However, guys don’t expect all women to look like a super model; they simply want a woman who cares about her presentation. After all, this is characteristic number five, not number one.

While maintaining a pleasing appearance is important, you don’t want to be on a rollercoaster of insecurity. If you are constantly seeking his approval and chasing after his validation, how can your man find you irresistible?

6.  Nurturing

When men get together, they like to brag about their independence. They left “the old ball and chain” at home. However, in reality, men want to feel taken care of. They secretly adore the resemblance their girlfriend has to mom – that nurturing personality.

A nurturing personality is one of the most basic female instincts. However when a man is intentionally or unintentionally hurtful, many women choose to withhold this quality out of anger. This is a sure-fire way to turn a man off.

7.  Sexually Unpredictable And Spontaneous

Women who look at sex as a chore are as far away from irresistible as they can possibly be!  Also, a woman who withholds sex to punish her man is not attractive either.

8.  Has Integrity

What is the ultimate characteristic of an irresistible woman? Integrity. A woman who has values and sticks up for herself is wildly attractive. On the other hand, when a woman says one thing and does another a man will quickly lose trust and respect. Men don’t value a woman who doesn’t value herself.